I couldn’t lose him.
* * *
Joseph left me alone for hours. It was dark by the time he came back. There was one tiny window in the room and night had fallen a long time before he returned.
“Dinner,” he said as he dumped a tray of food on the floor in front of me. I didn’t look at it, but rather kept my eyes on him. “You need to use the toilet?”
I couldn’t figure out why he cared. But I took the opportunity he presented and nodded. “Yes,” I croaked. My face was in a world of pain and I found it hard to talk.
He placed a hand on the back of my chair and motioned with his other hand for me to stand. My hands were tied behind my back and as I stood, he held the chair in place so my hands could slide up.
He then said, “Come.”
I soon realised he meant for me to shuffle my way to the toilet because he didn’t undo the rope he’d tied around my ankles.
The toilet wasn’t far from the room, but it took me ages to get there. Joseph became frustrated with me and curled one hand around my throat and the other around my waist so he could pull me along. My bare feet dragged along the cement most of the way after that, and they were a bloody mess of cuts and scratches at the end of the journey.
He kicked open the toilet door and pushed me inside. I stared at him, wondering how the fuck I was supposed to use the toilet if I couldn’t undo my pants. He met my gaze and his eyes glinted with an evil smile. Before I knew what was happening, he flicked the button on my pants and slid the zip down. His hands then gripped my pants and he yanked them down.
He hissed as his eyes landed on my lacy panties. “Rhys is a lucky man. I bet he spends most of his spare time inside this cunt,” he said as he slid a finger inside my panties.
I froze.
Oh, God, no.
This could not be happening.
I squeezed my legs together. “Don’t fucking touch me.” My heart beat so damn fast I thought it might explode, but I was proud as fuck that my voice held no trace of my fear.
“You’re a feisty one,” he murmured, but he let his hand linger near my vagina.
The sound of shoes on the cement in the hallway signalled someone approaching. “Joseph! We need you.”
His eyes met mine. “It’s your lucky day.” With that, he pulled my panties down so I could use the toilet. “Be there in a minute,” he yelled back, not taking his eyes off me.
I hated every fucking minute of this. But I never stopped telling myself that Nitro would get us out of here.
I had to believe that.
I finished using the toilet, and he pulled my pants back up and returned me to the room that sadly was mine. He undid the rope around my wrists and I ate the dinner of chicken and salad that he’d given me while one of his men watched. When I finished, my hands were secured together again. The guy left the room and I sat staring at the door, willing it to open. Willing Nitro to burst through and tell me everyone was dead and we could leave.
That never happened.
* * *
I didn’t see Joseph for another day and a half. His men delivered one meal to me in that time and took me to the toilet twice. Other than that, I saw nothing and heard nothing. I had no idea what was going on outside of the room I was in. If I thought I’d lived through hell before, that had nothing on this. This kind of hell could send a person mad. The not knowing was the worst, but equally as bad was the silence and time alone. It did crazy shit to my mind.
My relief when Joseph finally showed his face again, was short-lived. He entered the room and then Nitro was shoved in after him. I almost vomited when I saw Nitro. He’d been so badly beaten that his face was swollen and he could hardly open his eyes. Dried blood coated his face and where there was no blood, there were bruises and cuts. His body was in so much pain that he walked with a hunch and grunted with each step he took. The pain in my face from being punched felt like nothing compared to the hurt blaring from him.
Joseph eyed me. “Rhys is more stubborn than I thought. He still refuses to join my army, so I figured I’d give him some reasons.”
Moving behind me, he wrapped his hand around my throat and squeezed hard until I couldn’t draw breath. I couldn’t move my legs and I couldn’t move my hands because they were still tied together. All I could do was sit there and struggle for air. I gasped and frantically tried to suck air in through my nose, but he realised that and blocked that passage, too.
Nitro screamed for him to stop, but soon I couldn’t even hear that. All I could hear was the blood roaring in my ears as death beckoned. My head and body thrashed as I fought and finally Joseph let me go, sending me to the floor in an almighty crash. I fell headfirst, smashing my face into the concrete. Pain splintered through my head and radiated to every part of my body.
“Let her go!” Nitro roared, his voice making its way to me as I lay gasping for air.
“Not until you agree to my terms, son,” Joseph said right before he kicked me in the stomach.
He then ordered two of his men to haul me up and he beat me in the same manner that he’d beaten Nitro the last time I saw him.
Time stood still.
I heard Nitro yelling that he would do whatever Joseph wanted, but I couldn’t push my way through the haze of pain circling me.
Bone crunching.
Blood spilling.
My soul breaking.
I wasn’t sure I would survive this.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
The pain was too great and death seemed easier.
Eventually the punches stopped coming.
I lay curled up in a ball on the cement.
Boots sounded next to me, until they were a distant noise I could hardly hear. The door clicked shut.
And then came silence.
Beautiful silence.
I was alone.
Floating.
Drifting.
Dreaming of heaven.
Arms embraced me.
Pulled me into a lap.
Warm breath whispered across my skin.
A hand gently smoothed my hair.
“I’m so sorry, Vegas.” Nitro’s grief-stricken voice broke through the haze, and I blinked my eyes open.
He stared down at me. His eyes were filled with tears. And pain. So much pain. I didn’t want there to be any more of that for either of us. We’d had enough. Done our time. Paid the price for our sins.
He rocked me for what felt like hours. It could have been. Or it may have only been minutes. It didn’t matter how long it was. The only thing that mattered was that those final moments together were filled with so much care. The kind of care a person searches their whole life for. In those moments, Nitro loved me.