“And I’ve been staying away from the bar after games.”
“I don’t expect you to become a recluse.”
“I know. I just want to stay away from any problems.”
Poppy sets down her glass. “You have to give me a chance to trust you, and hiding in your room, not interacting with your teammates isn’t going to do that. All it’s going to do is make you resentful eventually.”
“Resentful of what?”
“Of me, for taking you away from your friends. I don’t want to confine you. If we’re going to try to make this work, it can’t be about you hiding from Tash, or the bunnies. And it can’t be you keeping me separate from the rest of your life.”
“I meant it when I said I’m not going to talk to her anymore. I’m done.”
“Has she contacted you since you saw her in LA?” Poppy bites her bottom lip.
“I got one call from an unknown number, but whoever it was didn’t leave a voicemail.”
“And if she comes to your next LA game? How will you handle that?”
“How do you want me to handle it?” My knee is bouncing. Even if we’re not involved, erasing Tash from my life isn’t exactly easy.
“I want you to be honest with me if you think you’re going to see her. I want to be able to trust that you’re not going to fall back into old patterns every time you cross paths.”
“I mean it when I say I’m done with her, Poppy. I didn’t really understand how bad she made me feel until you came along. I get how toxic she is for me, and I told her that. I want what we have to work. I know you can’t come to every LA game, but maybe you can come to some of them? The ones on the weekend maybe?”
Poppy glances at her wine and then back at me. “It doesn’t have to be LA games.”
“Whatever games you want to come to, I’ll get you tickets, if that’s what you want. But the bunnies are always there. I don’t have control over that.”
“I know. But who cares about them?” Her eyes flash. “And I only want to be at games if you want me there.”
“I only got one penalty tonight because I was trying to be good for you.”
A tender smile turns up the corner of her mouth. “I don’t want to be hidden away. Tonight was good for me. Meeting some of the other girls, your teammates, it was nice to feel included in your life.” Her eyes drop to the pillow she’s holding. “Unless that’s not what you want out of this.”
I hadn’t considered that keeping her all to myself could be a negative thing. “I just wanted to protect you from all the bad stuff.”
“I can handle the bad stuff, Lance, if you let me. We can handle it together.”
“The bunnies can be nasty.”
“I know. I heard a few of them tonight.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. Don’t take the blame for other people’s words and choices.”
“That’s not always easy.”
“Nothing good is easy; otherwise we wouldn’t appreciate the effort it takes to make it work.”
“So what now? Where do we go from here?”
She sets down her glass and leans closer. “Forward. If that’s what you want.”
“And you really want to do that?” I want to touch her. I want her to touch me. To ground me in this moment.
She laces her fingers with mine. “The past is in the past. We can leave it there if we’re done with it, can’t we?”
“What if I don’t want to?”
She cocks her head to the side, uncertain.
“I’ve buried a lot of my past because it wasn’t good, Poppy. But I don’t want to bury anything about you. Now that I have it back, you’re probably my best childhood memory. And to have you here as part of my present gives me hope that you’ll be in my future, too.”
CHAPTER 25
WHERE WE BEGIN
POPPY
Lance brings my fingers to his lips. This won’t be easy or simple. Loving him isn’t going to be a fairytale story where we ride off into the sunset and everything is perfect.
I know this.
We’re both full of fire, and his past is full of pain he carries with him. But I’m willing to try, because I want him. And more than that, this man is the kind of beautiful I need in my life.
“Let’s only keep the good ones then,” I suggest.
“Okay. I like that idea.” His lips brush my knuckle as he speaks. “I want to kiss you.”
“You already are.”
His smile grows and his lashes lower as he dips in close. “I mean your pretty lips.”
“Then you should do that.” I wait for the gentle, warm press.
“Want or let?” he asks.
“Need.”
And then he’s wrapped around me, lips on mine, tongue stroking slow inside my mouth, his low moan vibrating through my entire body.
It’s a new first kiss. His brief absence from my life is washed away.
He pulls back to ask, “Can I take you upstairs?”
At my nod, he links our hands. It takes forever to get up the stairs because we can’t stop kissing. When he pushes the door to his room open he mutters a curse. “I didn’t think…”
His room is a mess. Clothes are strewn on the floor by the dresser. His bed is unmade. The light in the bathroom is on, and discarded towels are hanging on the edge of the tub. It’s a big tub. A nice soaker.