“That’s what you want to ask, right?”
She nods.
“They’re for her,” I admit. “I’ve been sending her flowers once a month since her husband passed away five years ago.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“You call her your mom?”
I shrug. “She’s the closest thing I have to the real thing.”
“That’s sweet,” she says, but doesn’t ask anything else.
I take one of her hands and trace lazy circles on her palm. “So Jeff...he used to come home with them once a month on the date of their anniversary. White lilies were their wedding flower. Today’s their monthly wedding anniversary.” I smile to myself, lost in my thoughts—in my memories of them. “It was kind of beautiful—the way they were. I’d never really witnessed what love was until they took me in.”
“That is beautiful,” she whispers. “And I’m sorry about Jeff but...” she trails off.
“But what?”
“Nothing. I’m just nosy.”
“No. What were you going to say?”
She straightens up as if preparing for battle. “It’s just that I saw a sign at the shop and it said local delivery only...so she’s local, right? Why not just give them to her?”
I release an anxious breath, trying to find the right words. “I haven’t spoken to her since I was eighteen. I doubt she even knows they’re from me.”
“So who do you think she thinks they’re from?”
A single laugh escapes me. “Probably Jackson.”
“Jackson?”
I lift my gaze to hers. She’s concentrating on my finger tracing her palm. “Her son.”
“Do you keep in touch with him?”
“Actually, Jax and I just started talking again.”
She looks up from her hand—her eyes now focused on mine. “Did you miss him?”
“Yeah. I really did.”
KY
Age Seventeen
I locked myself in my room for three days. Three days I didn’t see Jackson or Christine. And in those three days, Jackson became our rock, our strength. I don’t know how he did it—but he must’ve known we needed saving, or at least knew Christine did. Me though? He had no fucking clue how badly I needed someone—something—to take my pain away.
A knock on my door made me groan. “Go away.”
Jackson entered anyway. He opened the curtains, letting sunlight in the room. It’d been three days since I’d seen it and it made me want to puke. I threw a pillow at his head. He ducked it and told me to fuck off—a well-earned response. “Are you okay, Ky?”
I sighed and lifted the covers over my head. What was I going to say? That the only man I’d ever looked up to was gone, and my girlfriend that I needed at the time needed someone else’s cock more?
“Mom—” Jackson started.
“Has she been asking for me?” I cut in.
I felt the bed dip. “No. But she’s not in a good way, Ky.”
“She’ll get over it. We all will.” And even as the words left my mouth I knew it was harsh. And I knew that it wasn’t the truth. How do you get over losing someone you love? How do you stop missing them?
“So...” Jackson said, and I could hear the hesitation in his voice. I knew what was coming before he spoke. “Did something happen with Ashlee?”
I couldn’t speak.
“It’s just that she hasn’t been around to see you or Mom. I thought for sure she’d be here...” he trailed off.
I sunk further into the bed. “Can you close the curtains and leave, please?”
He exhaled loudly, then got off the bed. I heard the curtains scrape across the rod and then footsteps moving toward the door. “Jax?” I lifted the covers and faced him.
Jackson froze with his hand on the knob. “Yeah, Ky?” His voice was so quiet, so low, so damn sad I wanted to cry for him.
“Thank you.”
He turned around slowly and leaned against the door, staring down at his feet. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he shrugged. And then he frowned. I hated it, because I knew what it meant—pity. “It’s no problem, Ky. You’re my brother. You saved me.” He let out a sad laugh and finally looked up at me. “Maybe now you can let me save you?”
I ducked under the covers to shield him from my tears.
A few seconds later, I heard the door click shut.
***
“Ky?”
“Huh?” I blink, pushing back the memories.
“Where did you go just now?”
“Sorry, just spaced out.”
Madison gives me an unsure smile. “So Jackson?”
“Yeah, what about him?”
“Can I meet him?”
I raise my eyebrows. “Already wanting to meet the family? A little soon, don’t you think?”
“I just want to get to know you more. That’s all.”
“He’s busy a lot. I doubt he’ll have time.”
“Sure you’re not just ashamed to be seen with me?”
“No.” I laugh. “More like I want to keep you to myself. What if you fall for him? Then what?”
She ignores me and grabs my phone off the coffee table. “Ask him.”
I’m about to argue, but her face is set with determination and I can’t say no.
She kicks my leg with her bare feet. “Come on, Kyler, what’s the worst he can say? No? He’s too busy?”