"Where are you?"
"At your dorm, where are you?"
"At your dorm."
I sigh. "We're a mess tonight."
She laughs.
My world stops.
"Stay there, I'll come to you."
"Wait," she says, and I can hear her feet clicking against the floor. "Is Minge in there?"
"He was when I left."
"Then you stay there—" she cuts herself off and the footsteps stop. Her voice lowers when she adds, "I mean, if you wanted to spend the night together?" She says it like a question, like she's unsure of my answer.
"Luce, I don't want to be anywhere else."
"Good," she perks up. "I'll call Rose to let you in, warm my bed for me, okay?"
"Okay."
"Hey, Cam?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
My eyes drift shut and I feel all the muscles in my body slowly relax. "Forever, baby."
***
I rest my head on her chest, my arms around her waist and my leg over hers. I hold her as tight as I can, afraid that if I let her go she might not come back.
Her fingers run through my hair. Her chest rises and falls, faster than it should. I lift my gaze; she's already watching me. "I didn't mean that I'd be happier without you, Luce," I whisper.
She pulls back and scoots lower on the bed so we're face to face, and pulls the covers over our heads. "So what did you mean? Will you explain it to me? I've been trying to understand, but I can't." She swallows loudly and I know that she's trying to hold back a sob.
"I just meant that it would be easier. I'd be happier, right now, if I got up every day, did the same routine and got to go home every night and just be with you. I'm just so fucking stressed at the moment. There's so much going on and the stuff with Logan—I'm drained, babe. Physically and mentally drained. Once I get over finals, I'll be fine."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because the times I have with you are the only times I look forward to. It's the only time I can drop the ball and just relax and be myself. I want my Lucy time separate from everything else."
"And why were your clothes off?"
I sigh and spend the next hour answering her questions as honestly as I can. I have nothing to hide, nothing to lie about.
"I know she's your friend and you have to study and work with her, and I'm trying to be okay with it. I'm trying so hard not to be the annoying jealous girlfriend but it's hard for me."
"I don't know what you want me to do. I can't drop the classes. I can't quit the—"
"I know," she cuts in. "Just... think about my feelings. That's all."
"Okay, babe. That's fair." I lean in and kiss her quickly. And then I test the waters. "How was your study group?"
She looks away. "It was productive," she lies.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
-LUCY-
As much as it hurts me to admit, things have changed. I don't know if it's me, or him, or both of us. Ever since the night at his work when I walked in on him and Roxy 'talking', he's been... off.
He's always busy, which is fine, I get that. But he's also been moody. I try my best to match his moods. When he's happy, I'm genuinely happy. When he's down, I try to support him. For five weeks since that night, I've been trying to do everything I can to be there for him. To be what he needs and what he wants. We've spent every night together, because it's the only time we have. And when he tells me he's stressed and needs a release, I give it to him.
The second Minge leaves the room for class he's on me. "I miss you so much," he whispers.
My hands splay across his chest. His hands work on my breasts while I move on him. He licks his lips as his eyes bore into mine. Our breaths are heavy, uncontrolled by the pure lust that's driving us. He removes his hands and leans on his elbows, taking my nipple into his mouth. His eyes never leave mine. I continue my pace, waiting for the tension to build.
And then it does.
My eyes widen, like it's still a surprise that he can make me come.
"Baby," I pant.
"I know. I got you."
He sits up, grabs my ass roughly and pulls me closer to him.
My head throws back. His hips thrust faster, working me over the edge.
"I wanna see you," he says. He licks his lips again then bites down on his bottom lip when he sees my face. Then he runs his finger along the sweat forming in my hairline.
"Cam!"
"Fuck, Lucy."
His fingers curl in my hair, pulling my face down to his waiting mouth.
We come together.
And then, we fall apart.
He walks into the shower and waits for me to get out to hand me a towel. "Thank you," I tell him.
He's gazing down at the floor, chewing his thumb. I watch his throat bob when he swallows. "You didn't say I love you," he mumbles.
"What do you mean?"
He looks at me now, for seconds that feel like hours while I self-consciously dry my naked body. "After we have sex, you always tell me you love me. You didn't this time. You got off me and went straight in here. Why?"
My eyebrows bunch, but I recover quickly. I try not to let his tone hurt me. "I'm sorry," I step forward and kiss him lightly. "I guess I just thought you had an early class so I didn't want to take up too much of your time."