I stepped forward, wanting to go to him.
Ethan blocked my path. His chest heaved with his breaths. "I'm not fucking around, Amanda. Get in the goddamn house."
"Fuck you, Ethan."
"No!" he yelled. "Fuck you, Amanda."
Logan raised his head now, his lip busted, blood pouring from his mouth.
Ethan continued, "Do you know how fucking worried I've been? I've been calling you all fucking day. Your phone's off. I called everyone. Mom's in a fucking panic. I even called Dad!"
I sucked in a breath. The guilt took over. He stepped closer. "The whole fucking day I've been tearing my hair out, and you've been fucking around with him? HIM!" He pointed to Logan, but kept his glare on me. Logan's hands went in his front pockets. "You've been fucking around with him—and behind my fucking back. You knew how I'd feel, because you kept it from me. You knew I'd be pissed and you still fucking did it!" His voice got louder. I took a step back, not wanting to feel the full wrath of his words. "I'm gonna ask you one more time," he said, his voice lowered. "Get. In. The. Fucking. House. NOW!"
"Babe," Logan spoke from behind him. He spat out more blood. "Go," he said quietly. "We're just gonna talk."
Ethan turned to him. "Don't you fucking tell her what to do." He shook his head, and moved closer to him. "Don't you fucking dare talk to her. Your opinion doesn't count anymore, asshole."
Logan just nodded, but his eyes were on me. Pleading.
Then a hand wrapped around my elbow. "C'mon, Dim." Alexis. "Let's just go inside. They have a lot to talk about."
I looked at Logan. He raised his chin slightly.
I walked backwards towards the house, my eyes never leaving them. They stood, toe to toe, neither moving, neither talking.
Alexis closed the front door once we were inside. "It's okay," she assured me. "They're just gonna talk."
Logan
As soon as the door shut, his fist was in my stomach. I was expecting something, but not that. It made me fall to my knees. "You can't just fucking come back and pretend like everything's fine!" He kicked the same place he'd just punched. My body fell forward, but my arms held me up.
"Get up," he yelled. "Take it like a man."
I used my truck to get back to my feet. The pain in my body was nowhere near the pain in my heart. I knew Ethan. I knew him as the cocky asshole that never took anything too seriously. But this—this was not Ethan. At least, not the one from a year ago.
"Oh wait," he mocked. "I forgot. You don't do things like a man." He punched me again. My face this time. My head flung to the side, but I took it. I'd take anything he gave me. I deserved it all.
"Your girlfriend almost got raped and you bailed, right? That's your thing. You just fuck off?" Another punch. They were getting weaker. I'd be able to take a few more before my body failed me. "You fucking left. It was me that was there for her. I had to listen to her nightmares, her screams at night." I lifted my head to face him. I didn't know she’d had nightmares. "Oh." He nodded slowly as understanding dawned. "Of course she wouldn't tell you about that. Poor you, right? We better protect your fucking feelings." I let his words sink in as I took in his state. His knuckles were bleeding, or maybe it was my blood. Who the fuck knows? His shoulders lifted with his heavy breaths, but he could barely get a lungful before he hit me again. Another gut shot. Weaker again.
I let the pain consume me. I needed to feel it. I deserved to feel it.
"You've got nothing to say to me?" Another punch to the face. The blows hurt less, but the pain was constant. "Did she tell you she couldn't be home alone? Or that she slept with the light on? I bet she didn't fucking tell you any of that shit!" I tried to swallow the knot in my throat. She didn't tell me, but I’d never asked. I should have asked. He pushed against my chest, too weak to do anything else.
Thunder clapped and rain poured down.
Maybe it was a sign. Maybe she had every reason to be afraid of it. I couldn't just turn her nightmares into dreams, not when I didn't know they existed.
He fisted my shirt in his hand, the rain soaking us both. He got right in my face.
I waited.
Then I heard her voice.
"Stop," she yelled.
I lifted my chin.
"Stop it!" she yelled again.
My head pounded, the beating finally catching up. I tried to square my shoulders.
Ethan's voice was quieter now, intended just for me. "Do you know what it was like to walk in and see some guy on top of her like that? I got him off just in time, but she'd blacked out." His voice broke. He could've been crying, but the rain hid it. "She blacked out, and I thought she was fucking dead. I thought she'd died, Logan. I thought I'd fucking lost her."
I shut my eyes tight. The mental image of that night came back to me. I'd locked it away—with the rest of my nightmares. And now it was here. His body on top of her, holding her arm. Her scream as he pushed it against the floor, breaking it. Me, pathetically crawling to get to her. Her tears flowing. Her body slack. She'd given up.
And then darkness.
"Do you know what that was like for me?" Ethan yelled again.
And then it happened.
The walls I'd built to block out that night, the heartache, and the turmoil—it all came crashing down around me. I pushed him away. "How the fuck do you think I feel?" I shouted back. I pushed him again, my emotions taking control. "I was right fucking there and I couldn't stop it."