“Where?”
She shook her head. “Where doesn’t matter. He was older, charismatic. I was young and naive. He had clout and prestige, well respected in his . . . with his circle of friends and business associates.” Erin closed her eyes. “I mistook his assertiveness as confidence and considered it an attraction. The first time he hit me we were on a trip.”
Matt felt his palms tighten and his forearms flex.
“He accused me of flirting with the bartender. Convinced me that I was. I was shocked, confused. Before we flew home he convinced me it wouldn’t happen again. But kept telling me that I had provoked it and needed to make sure I didn’t attract other men. I had the bruise on my cheek and I felt guilty.” Her chest rose and fell with a harsh, bitter laugh.
Matt wanted to reach out for her, but her posture was closed off. Like she needed to say this without any contact at all.
“He hit you more than once.”
“I lost count. The second time he gave me an I’m sorry gift. The third he whisked us away to an island. I realize now it was to hide me. Sunglasses only did so good of a job.”
The blood inside Matt’s veins was surging like an overflowing waterfall hitting against the rocks. “Why didn’t you leave?” He never really understood why people stuck with their abusers.
“It wasn’t that simple. He isolated me. His slow manipulation of my every move was so cunning I had no idea what had happened to my life until I looked in the mirror one day and didn’t recognize myself. None of the people I had been friends with before were around. When he broke my nose he flew us to Europe and told everyone I wanted a nose job. He took my passport to keep me from leaving. And when I did threaten to leave, he threatened to hurt my si—” Erin stumbled on her words.
Matt was fairly certain she was going to say sister.
“That he would hurt people I cared about. He proved every time that he could break me and no one else would know about it.”
“Except the doctors. Surely one of the doctors said something.”
For a brief second, she glanced at him, her eyes soft. “Yes.” Erin reached for her face. “I could have lost my left eye. It was awful for so long. I was in the hospital for several days. The doctors knew. The nurses knew. They asked me point-blank, almost like Dr. Brown did today. I was so embarrassed. So humiliated that I’d let this happen.”
Matt couldn’t take it anymore. He reached out and clasped her hand. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I let him do it. I never fought back, not once.” There were unshed tears in her eyes. “By then he was just ugly, all the time. He didn’t even need alcohol to swing a fist. Have you ever been hit in the face, Matt?”
“Not as an adult.” He and Colin had their share of childhood roughhousing that might be considered fighting, but those shots were never meant to do any damage.
“It hurts. The shock that it happened is almost as bad as the physical pain.”
“How did you finally get out?”
A breeze drifted from off the ocean and blew her hair back. All Matt wanted to do was pull her into his arms and assure her she was safe.
“He wanted a son.”
The thought brought bile to Matt’s throat.
“I told him I wasn’t ready. My needs didn’t play into what he wanted our life to be, so he flushed my birth control pills down the toilet and forced . . .”
Matt grunted. How any man could do what Erin was describing . . . But the last thing she needed was Matt showing signs of violence. Yet he knew, if the man was there right now, Matt wouldn’t hold back.
“I was petrified that I’d get pregnant. Now suddenly it wasn’t just about me.”
“Did you?”
“No. I found a doctor in a different town and had her put in an IUD. Only I didn’t take into account that De—” Erin flinched. “That he would monitor my periods. The thing about the IUD is it often stops them. So when he told me I was late he thought I was pregnant.”
“He found out.”
She nodded. “I told him I couldn’t have a child if he was going to abuse them the way he hit me. He was outraged. How dare I call him an abuser when I was the one causing the issues. I made the mistake of telling him I wanted to leave.”
Matt realized he was squeezing her hand too tightly and loosened up. Hearing her past was like watching a train wreck but not being able to tear your eyes away. You knew it was going to end badly, but you kept watching anyway. “What happened, sweetheart?”
She pointed to the back of her head. “We were driving. He was enraged. He told me if I didn’t have his children, then I was better off dead.” Erin was staring at the ocean now, her words a short staccato as she listed facts. “There was a red light. No one was in front of us. He was screaming. I huddled next to the door. He didn’t slow down. That’s when he reached over, unbuckled my seatbelt, and crossed the intersection.”
Every cell in Matt’s body turned stone cold. “Fuck.”
Erin was blinking away tears. “When I woke up in the hospital he was at my bedside and I didn’t remember a thing. Within a week my memory came back, and when it did he was right there to tell me that he’d proved he could kill me if he wanted to.”
Matt released her hand, placed his arm over her shoulder, and pulled her into his side. She softly cried in his arms as he let her story sink in.
“You got away, Erin.”
“I did. But at a cost.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s still out there. Holding on. Maintaining his innocence.”
“I don’t understand. How is he holding on? You’re not with him anymore.”
She moaned. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
Matt moved away long enough to look in her eyes. “Erin, you don’t have to be careful with your words around me. This conversation is locked in a vault. Unless you point him out to me. In that case . . .”
She offered a pathetic smile.
“When I left I hired an attorney, filed a restraining order against him . . .” Erin looked at her hands in her lap. “. . . and filed for divorce.”
Of course. That’s why it wasn’t as simple as walking away. She’d been married to him. “Wait . . . are you still married?”
Tears started to flow again. “He won’t sign the papers. This morning when I did this”—she pointed to the back of her head—“I learned that the restraining order was lifted.”
“Oh, damn.”
“He doesn’t know where I am. At least I don’t think he knows where I am.”
“To stay that way you keep all of this a secret.”
She nodded. “The less people that know anything the better. Parker knows my ex hit me. She doesn’t know the details.”
A lot of things were starting to line up. “That’s why you work from home.”
“Yeah.”
“And why you don’t socialize a lot.”
“It has to be that way,” she said. “My own family doesn’t know where I am. If they did, he would find a way to hurt them to get to me.” She started to tremble.
“Hey.” He placed both hands on her arms and made her look at him. “I’m honored you trusted me with this.”