Parker slowly turned her eyes to Colin.
He, too, wore a strangled smile.
Because she couldn’t stop herself, she asked, “Do you want kids?”
“I always thought they’d be in my future.”
She swallowed. Heartache sat in her chest.
A gust of wind rattled the silence growing in the room.
Matt stood and walked over to the window overlooking the property.
Colin shifted and stayed silent.
“It’s really coming down out there,” Matt said.
Colin patted her shoulder and got up to join his brother. “If you’re leaving, you might want to. The culverts fill up fast, and you won’t be able to get over the wash until I bring someone in tomorrow.”
“I need to shut off the water and disconnect the hose.” Parker unfolded from the couch.
“We’ll take care of it,” Colin told her.
Matt found his raincoat on the back of the kitchen stool.
“Thanks again for installing the lights,” Erin told him.
“My pleasure. I’ll get back to you on the alarm system.”
Parker and Erin stood back while Colin and Matt bundled up to go outside.
“Thanks for dinner,” Matt said as he opened his arms for a hug. Parker stepped in and returned the gesture.
“Drive carefully.”
“Always do.” He looked at Erin, smiled, and waved. “See ya later, Erin.”
“G’night.”
They opened the door and Scout jumped from his curled up position on the floor.
Parker held him back. “Oh, no . . . I don’t want to wipe you down again tonight.”
She waited until the men walked out to let the dog go with a long sigh. “That was awkward.”
“I saw. Colin didn’t know you don’t want kids, did he?”
“We never talked about it.”
“God, I’m sorry I brought it up,” Erin said.
“It’s not your fault.” Only now what?
Rain pelted the hood of the truck as Matt drove them down the driveway to the point where Colin could run out, turn off the water at the two valve points, and disconnect the line. Then he’d roll it to the side so it didn’t get caught in the current when the wash started to flood again.
But before he did that, he and his brother sat in the car while the windshield wipers kept a heavy-metal beat.
“You didn’t know about the kid thing, did you?” Matt asked him.
“No.”
“Damn, Colin. I’m sorry.”
His mind couldn’t stop hearing how fast she’d said the word no.
“Is it a deal breaker?” Matt asked.
“I-I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “Maybe she’ll change her mind.”
Matt sighed. “And maybe she won’t.”
A life without kids? Was he willing to do that? Be careful who you date, you never know who you were going to fall in love with.
“Fuck. I don’t want to think about this right now.” Colin jumped out of the car and rushed over to the water line and went to work.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
A cloud hovered over them, figuratively and literally. How had a simple conversation about Parker’s past resulted in the wedge that had somehow come between them?
Colin didn’t like it. At all.
Matt left, and Erin went down to the guesthouse, leaving them alone.
He wanted to talk to her about it, but needed to work out his own feelings first.
Unlike any other night he’d spent at her home, he sat in her bed waiting for her to finish in the bathroom and stared at the walls. The room was nearly twice the size of his. The bed was a queen. He liked that. His bed gave her too much room to move away.
The door to the bathroom opened and she stepped out. The nightgown she wore stopped midthigh and wasn’t something he’d classify as sexy, but Parker made up for it.
“I have some bad news,” she said as she walked to her side of the bed.
“What?”
“I started my period.”
Now he was really confused. She didn’t want kids . . .
She must have figured out where his mind went because she quickly clarified. “No fooling around tonight.”
“Oh. Sorry, I’m a little slow.” He pulled the blankets back for her. “I’ll enjoy holding you just as much.”
Parker turned off the lamp and curled in beside him. “Just as much?”
“Ninety-nine point nine percent as much.”
She looked up, reached her lips toward his.
His heart pounded in his chest a little harder as if it were trying to tell him something.
When she broke away, she smiled before resting her head on his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here,” she told him.
“I am, too.”
“Good night.”
He kissed the top of her head. “Good night.”
Only his mind didn’t turn off. Couldn’t turn off. He’d never dated a woman where he even cared to know about her view on kids. What was different with Parker?
He closed his eyes, tried to slow his breathing down and rest his mind.
Parker was different because he loved her.
Everything about her was completely unlike anyone he’d dated before. She was independent and often unwilling to accept his help. When he’d push to do something for her, she’d push back equally hard to do it herself. He wondered if that was to prove to herself she could . . . or to him? It was endearing . . . annoying, too, at times, but appealing all the same.
Her breathing started to even out, and the arm she had draped over him felt heavier.
He saw this woman in his future. Wanted her there.
Matt’s question sang in his head. “Is it a deal breaker?”
God, he hoped not.
“We haven’t had lunch in forever.” Jennifer sat across the booth from her in one of their favorite places.
“Thank goodness for half days. How is everything at the school?”
Jennifer sipped from her iced tea. “The flu is going around and the kids are stir-crazy with all the rain. How are you and Mr. Wonderful?”
“We’re good. Real good.”
Jennifer’s smile fell. “Oh, no . . . What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“I call bullshit. You were all giggly and blushing the last time we talked about him, now you’ve got a frown. What’s going on?”
She picked at the salad in front of her. “He wants kids.”
Jennifer practically spat her tea out.
Parker handed her the extra napkin sitting in front of her.
“Warn me next time, will ya? Kids? What the heck are you guys talking about kids for?”
“I don’t know, it just came up.”
“How long have you been dating?”
“Couple of months.”
Jennifer shook her head. “Two months and you’re talking about babies? Call me old-fashioned, but didn’t you miss a step? Like living together, at least.”
“We weren’t talking about now, more of a general thing. Either way, Colin wants to be a dad.”
“Did he say he wanted you to have his children?”
“No.” Parker explained the conversation the weekend before and how strained they’d been ever since. She chalked it up to being hormonal, but now that her cycle was fading, she realized it wasn’t completely that.