I fell even more for her in that small moment. She thought Henry didn’t care about her whereabouts, about her at all, yet she was still concerned about his well-being.
“Henry?” I asked, walking up to the bar.
He looked nothing like he did during school hours. He was wearing a gray polo that was wrinkled, and his hair was all over the place. His green eyes looked up at me, and at first, he looked surprised to see me standing next to him. Slowly, his face relaxed.
“Dan, hey. What are you doing here?”
I slid onto the stool next to him, inviting myself to chat even though he didn’t look like he was in a talking mood. His hands were gripped around a glass of whiskey. His scent was buried in tobacco. For a moment, I inhaled the scent, letting it remind me of my father.
“I’m in the band, Romeo’s Quest. How are you?”
He looked up at me with perplexed eyes and laughed. “Do you want the professional reply or the truth?”
I waved down the bartender and ordered us both another whiskey. When I got them, I slid it to Henry. “Whichever one you want to share.”
He paused and rubbed his thumb on the rim of the glass. “I’m fine,” he lied. His eyes were heavy. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, months even. “That was the professional answer.”
“And the truth?” I questioned, feeling bad for the guy.
“The truth is…I’m falling apart.” He took a long swallow from his drink. “My daughter died a few months ago.”
I placed my hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“I wasn’t there for her or Ashlyn all their lives.” He looked down at his glass, his head hanging in shame. “After Kim left me to move to Chicago, I mentally checked out. I hadn’t checked back in until August. And by that point, it was at my daughter’s funeral.” He choked on the final words and wiped his hands across his face.
I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say a thing. My hand still rested against his shoulder. I could feel his body shaking from his nerves as he continued speaking. “And now Ashlyn’s here. I feel like I have a shot at connecting with her, but I don’t try. I hardly know anything about her. Her likes, her dislikes. I don’t even know how to start a relationship with my own daughter.”
I ran my hands over my mouth before I placed one hand around my glass of whiskey. Bringing it to my lips, I took a swallow. “That’s a tough situation.”
He turned toward me, his eyes red from emotion, and he laughed. “I should have just told you the professional reply, but it seems that the whiskey is getting the best of me.”
“Where’s Ashlyn now?” I asked, knowing yet wondering what his reply would be.
“I don’t know.” His head hung low. “I don’t ask her to check in with me, because what right do I have? It would be kind of as**ole of me to start playing the father card when I never was a father.”
“I think she would want you to though.” He arched an eyebrow at my comment. “I lost my father a few months ago. Our relationship wasn’t always perfect, but it was good. Yet if I had a chance, I would try more. I should’ve played the son card a little more. You missed an opportunity to connect with Gabby. Don’t miss one with Ashlyn.”
He nodded slowly, taking in my words and thoughts. I stood up from my chair and started walking over to the stage.
“Hey, Dan?”
I turned back to him. “Yeah?”
His eyebrows furrowed and he frowned. “How did you know her name? Gabby’s?”
Oh shit.
My heart landed in my throat as I stared at the sad man. My mind went on speed, racing faster and faster, searching for an excuse. “You mentioned it.”
His drunken eyes fell heavy. He was searching his mind for our conversation. “Oh. Right. Of course,” he muttered.
I sighed heavily. “She seems to be really into music, Henry. In class, Ryan and she are always talking about it. And books—she loves books.”
“Books and music.” He gave me a sad grin, “That’s a good starting ground, eh?”
“The best.” I nodded, stuffing my hands into my pockets.
Randy walked over to me and slammed his hands on my shoulders. “Where’s the lady?” he shouted, making my face go pale.
“Oh? Is your girlfriend here?” Henry asked, sitting up and looking around.
“Yes,” Randy replied.
“No!” I shouted. Randy arched an eyebrow at me and I pushed down on his shoulder. “Henry, it was good seeing you. Stick around for the show!” I said as I guided a confused Randy away.
“What the hell was that?” he fussed.
“Ashlyn’s father,” I whispered.
“Already meeting the parents?” he smirked, shoving me in the shoulder.
“No,” I hissed. Randy looked at my sudden shift in character and waited for me to explain. My hand brushed against my temple and I frowned. “That’s my boss.”
“Ohhh, I see.”
I nodded. “And Ashlyn is my student.” That was the line that made Randy’s jaw drop to the floor. His eyes bugged out and he listened as I explained how we didn’t know beforehand. “I know I should stop but…”
“Holy shit,” Randy sighed, the palm of his hand resting on the back of his neck.
“What?”
“You love her.”
“What?!” I laughed nervously, rubbing my hands together. “That’s ridiculous. I hardly know her and—”
“Dude, don’t give me that ‘I’m a man and can’t express my feelings’ bullshit. You love her. I haven’t seen you smile this much over a girl since my sister.”
“I…” I knew he was right. But that scared me. How could I love Ashlyn and not be able to show the world how I loved her? We couldn’t even go out to see my show tonight, and I had a feeling that wouldn’t be becoming any easier.
“Confucius said, ‘Wherever you go, go with all your heart,’ Danny.” Randy placed his hand on my shoulder.
“Did you just quote Confucius?”
“I did. And it was awesome.” He smiled my way and shoved me. “Come on. Let’s get set up.”
Arriving back home, I tossed myself into bed, exhausted from the show. Randy had somehow managed to bring two girls home with him, and I could tell they were having a little too much fun in the living room. He had a thing for having his own na**d music parties nowadays.
I picked up my cell phone and texted Ashlyn. She was probably sleeping, yet just in case she wasn’t, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity of talking to her.
Me: All clear. Henry has no idea.
Ashlyn: He stumbled into the house a few minutes ago. How was the show?
Me: Good. I missed you in the corner booth.
Ashlyn: Wow, you really are addicted to me. Stop hugging your pillow.
I laughed out loud at her comment, wishing she were lying na**d next to me in my bed. I wouldn’t even have to do anything with that na**d body except hold it. I loved the way she felt against me.
Me: I’ll stop once you quit petting baby pandas.
Ashlyn: I thought you liked when I pet your baby panda?
I cringed.
Me: There’s nothing baby about this panda.
Ashlyn: I just LOLed. You’re such a dork.
Me: Text me something you wrote tonight. Something from your book?
There was a long pause. Either she was typing me an excerpt or she had fallen asleep.
Ashlyn: He never stepped in to fight her battles. Most women might have been turned off by the ungentlemanly action, yet it only turned Julie on that much more. She loved the way he allowed her to be strong for herself. She loved the way he believed she had the strength of all of the Goddesses combined. She loved the way he allowed her to be a hundred percent individual. That is precisely why she wanted to love him for the rest of time.
I read her words over and over again. Taking in each one.
Me: My father would’ve been right. I’m not good enough for you.
Ashlyn: I think you’re just right for me.
Me: Is this the book Gabby and you were working on?
Ashlyn: No. I started something new.
She was finding herself, too. It was the most beautiful thing to watch happen—Ashlyn discovering who she was again all on her own. I felt privileged to be able to witness her growth.
Ashlyn: Henry walked into my room and stared at me for the longest… What did you say to him?
I smiled at the message and rubbed my fingers against my brows.
Me: I asked how he was doing. Maybe you should, too. Goodnight, sweets.
Ashlyn: Goodnight :)
I rolled over and began to read the letter I’d received tonight from Gabby. I knew the letter was supposed to bring me comfort, but for some reason, it only brought on doubts.
#1. Fall in love.
To the boy who’s loved by a girl,
I wonder if you know how lucky you are. My little sister here doesn’t know it, but she puts up walls. Her heart is locked and chained shut from the world. She hides behind her books, and she doesn’t let anyone in. I figure it’s because once our dad left, she never wanted to feel that way again—abandoned.
But here you are. Someone who found the key.
Can you do me a few favors?
Show her off to the world. Shout it from the rooftops. Take her out on dates. She loves to dance—even though she’s really bad at it. Make other couples jealous.
Be her golden.
Because I promise you that she’ll be yours.
You’re doing great.
-Gabrielle
Since I read Gabby’s note, I’d felt terrible. Ashlyn’s sister was right. She deserved to be shown off and she deserved to go out on dates. She deserved to be loved out loud.
And I didn’t know how to do that.
Chapter 20
Don’t stop until we’re done.
Then run off the tracks.
Never look back, never look back.
~ Romeo’s Quest
“Do you always walk around cemeteries alone?” I snickered, seeing Daniel.
He turned to look at me and smiled wide. “Only when I’m waiting to see a pretty girl.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re corny.” He pulled me closer to him and slowly licked my bottom lip before he kissed me. “Mmm,” I muttered against his mouth. I cleared my throat. “Jake from school sent me a text asking me out again,” I whispered, biting my bottom lip.
Daniel arched an eyebrow. “The guy can’t catch a hint, can he?” He paused and lowered his voice. “Do you want to date him?”
I stepped backwards. “What?”
“I mean…he can actually date you, Ashlyn. This isn’t right—meeting behind buildings, in cemeteries—”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” My eyes watered up. Why would he say such things? I was happy with him. We were happy. The only thing I could think of that could have brought on the change in Daniel was the note I’d given him last night.
I shouldn’t have given him the note. I’d come on too strong. I’d been too forward.
He grew grim for a moment, deep in thought. I hated how I couldn’t read him. His eyes blinked and he looked up.
My eyes shifted to the ground. “Is it because of what the note said? Because I-I’m sorry if it’s too soon but—”
“No, Ash…” His face softened, all evidence of his sudden mood change gone. “It’s nothing. Forget about it. Anyway, why did you bring it up? Jake texting you?”
I contemplated asking him about his thoughts, but I feared he would push himself away from me. Breathing deeply, I tried to clear the fog between us. “I know I can’t say I’m seeing you…but maybe…” I pulled my hair to the side and held my neck out. “Maybe you can leave a mark saying that I’m yours?”