“I’m sorry.”
“I know.” She slipped the half-eaten cookie back into its plastic bag. “You always are, Nick. But things stay the same.” Her face turned away from him and she crawled onto the bed, placing the remains of the cookie on the bedside table. “You can’t possibly guarantee you’ll always be there for me, because accidents happen. You don’t know what the future will bring. But you won’t help me to protect myself. You say you want me, but what you really want is some pathetic doll, completely dependent on you and available to f**k at your convenience. That’s the truth.”
The quiet in the room was complete when she stopped speaking. She lay down on her side, facing away from him. A pretty obvious message that he chose to ignore.
“I don’t want a doll,” he said. “I just don’t want you to die.”
Silence.
“Roslyn—”
“I have made some bad decisions, I’m not denying it. Thing is, those situations will keep occurring if we don’t change what we’re doing. The way we’re behaving toward each other has to shift. Either that, or we need to part ways.” Her voice sounded scarily matter-of-fact. “I don’t see any other choices.”
Panic stirred inside him. Without thought, he moved to her side, lying down behind her. She stiffened, but didn’t otherwise object to the arm he put around her waist. The sunlight had started to fade, the room dulling down to shadows. There’d been a torch out the back of the shop they’d raided and some girly scented candles in the drugstore. All of them sat in their packs in the back of the pickup. He should go get them. But for the moment, he needed to stay with her more. He needed to fix this.
Problem was, in the past he’d always bailed at times like these. Chances were he’d say the wrong thing now for sure. His mind scrambled to come up with something he could use. Something to soothe her.
“Thank you for trying to come back yesterday,” he said, getting close enough to press up against as much of her as possible, his front to her back. “It does matter.”
“It didn’t work out so well.”
“No. But you tried.”
She made a humming noise. “I am sorry about the cabin.”
“I know,” he said, fingers daring to toy with hers. “We’ll find somewhere else.”
A small nod.
“Here’s what I’m going to do,” he said. “I’m going to go out to the truck and bring in our stuff. Then I’m going to put the bullets back in your clip. Tomorrow, we’re going to start talking over scenarios. Situations you might face and how you’d deal with them. Stuff like that. I’ll teach you some skills. Okay?”
She didn’t answer for a moment. “Do you mean that?”
“Yes. We might even work our way to looking at clearing a room together. Maybe. When I judge you’re ready, and not before.”
Ros wriggled about, rolling over to face him. Cautious eyes studied his face. “I can’t tell if you’re serious or not.”
“I’m serious.”
“Be warned. If you’re lying to me, I may actually shoot you this time.”
He sighed. “Yeah, I know.”
“Good.”
Slowly, he laid the palm of his hand against the soft skin of her cheek. That she didn’t turn away or try to stop him was humbling. But then, Ros could be far too kind and forgiving for her own good.
“Honestly,” he said, “I only want you available at my convenience. Not a doll. Not anyone else.”
The corner of her mouth curled just a little. “Wildly romantic, Nick.”
“Not everything you accused me of was bad. I kind of liked that idea.”
“Did you?”
“Mm.”
“Great.” She smiled but then her gaze dipped, avoiding his. “Don’t lie to me again, Nick. Please. I don’t think I could take it.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“You just shot me again,” Nick griped at her. Honestly, the man could be such a big baby.
Roslyn sighed somewhat dramatically. “I did not shoot you.”
“Yeah, you did. You flinched and your finger squeezed the trigger. If it had been loaded, I’d be dead.”
“Oh, please.” She rolled her eyes and slumped against the motel room wall. It had to be close to midnight. They’d been doing the same damn clearing-a-room exercise for hours, with him picking on every little last thing she did. She’d nagged him into starting immediately. “Nag” being his word choice, not hers. But she forgave him for being short-tempered. Amazing how benevolent she could be when she got her way for once. Nick, however, had brought highly strung and crabby to a whole new level.
“It was an accident,” she said, not really bothering to keep the smile off her face.
The eyebrow went up. “That makes me feel a lot better. I mean, I’ll be dead, but still, an accident.”
“You surprised me!”
“I’m meant to surprise you,” the man growled. Nicky had quite the temper once he got going but, fortunately, he didn’t scare her. Not in that way. If anything, his getting all riled up could be rather thrilling in the right circumstances. Blood warmed his face and his eyes were narrowed on her in irritation. Her body heated in response and she bit back a grin. Really, right then, life wasn’t so bad. In fact, it could be pretty nice with the right company, apocalypse or no.