“Is . . . is this you?” My voice cracked. “Is this real?”
“As real as I’ll ever be.” His voice was barely audible, a hoarse whisper like mine. “God, Kat, I . . .”
It felt like my chest had imploded, and I reached up, digging my hand into the wisp of hair at the nape of his neck. My cheeks were damp.
“I’m so sorry,” he said again, and for a moment, it was all he seemed to be able to say. He turned so that his back was to the wall, and then he slid down, pulling me into his lap, nestled between his bent knees and the hard expanse of his chest. “I don’t know how much I can say or how long I can keep them out of my head.”
Keep them out of his head? I blinked back tears as I opened my eyes. “I don’t . . . understand what is happening.”
“I know.” Pain flashed across his striking face as he rested his forehead against mine. “We’re connected—all of us. From the moment they came, we’ve been inside one another’s heads. I’m not sure how it works. It’s never been like this before. Maybe it’s because there are so many of us here, but when I’m in my true form, there’s no hiding from it. It’s not too bad . . . now. There are things they don’t know, that we’ve been able to keep from them, but I’m not sure how much longer that’s going to work.”
“Us?” I whispered.
He nodded. “Dawson and me.”
I frowned, clearly not remembering him as being a friendly. “But he hit me with the Source.” And I was also pretty sure he’d cracked my skull in the process.
Daemon’s eyes deepened to a vibrant moss green. “Yeah, and his jaw has been thanked for that. He didn’t have a choice, though. Another was heading for you, and he did what he did to stop one of them from killing you.”
“And killing you.” My thoughts raced to keep up with everything. It was an act—all of this. “Dee?”
Daemon’s thick lashes lowered as he shook his head.
“What?” I pulled in an unsteady breath as the crush of disappointment hit me. Her words had stung me, but it had to be worse for Daemon and Dawson. “She’s not . . . pretending?”
“No. She’s sucked into them. It’s kind of like a hive.” He shook his head again, and I could see the weariness settling in the lines around his full lips. “I don’t know why Dawson and I are able to . . . think for ourselves but not her.”
I placed the tips of my fingers against his cheek, feeling the faint stubble. “I think I know.”
His brows rose.
“Dawson has Beth,” I said quietly, meeting his eyes. “And you have me. Maybe that’s it. Just like with the mutation thing. It’s something so simple.”
“There’s nothing about you that’s simple.”
A faint smile crossed my lips. “I was so scared,” I admitted after a few moments. “When you left with them, and then seeing you again like . . . like you were. I thought I’d lost you.” Emotion clogged my throat, and it took several seconds to get the words out. “That after everything we’ve been through, I’d lost you anyway.”
“You haven’t lost me, Kitten. You could never lose me.” He folded me in against him, and when he spoke in a low voice, his lips brushed my cheek. “But I didn’t want you here, anywhere near here. It’s not safe for you.”
The fierce ache in my chest eased a little as his words sank in, but the bitter tang of hurt and fear lingered in the back of my throat. There was still so much I didn’t understand, things I didn’t think even Daemon understood.
He took one of my hands and placed it against his chest, above his heart. “You really thought I’d forgotten you?”
I dipped my chin, and it was too easy to recall the coldness in his stare. “I didn’t know what to think. You . . . you looked at me like you did when we first met.”
“Kat.” He uttered my name like it was some kind of prayer, and then he pressed a kiss against the skin behind my ear. “I broke every rule of my kind to heal you and keep you with me. I married you and burned down an entire city to keep you safe. I’ve killed for you. Did you think I’d forget what you mean to me? That anything in this world—in any world—would be stronger than my love for you?”
A choked sob escaped my lips as I buried my face in the space between his shoulder and neck. Circling my arms around his shoulders, I clung to him like a needy baby monkey. I squeezed until his low chuckle whispered against my cheek.
“You’re strangling me,” he said, smoothing a hand up my back. “Just a little.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled against his shoulder, but I didn’t let go. He kissed the crown of my head, and a sigh leaked out of me. God, nothing was okay. Far from it, but Daemon was okay. He was himself, and dammit, together we could face anything. We would because we had to. “What are we going to do?”
He tucked the tangled mess of my hair back from my face, exposing my cheek to the path of his lips. “Keep pretending. There are gonna be things I’m going to have to say, maybe even have to do—”
“I understand.” My heart dropped anyway. I didn’t want to relive the whole office thing again, but I would if needed. I had to.
“Of course you do.” He placed a kiss on the corner of my lips. “But it’s not something I’ve ever wanted you to have to understand.” His lips followed the curve of my jaw, eliciting a shiver from me. “We’ll get out of here, but I can’t go without Dee.”