“I was a bad friend,” Dani went on. “You can’t control feelings, but I blamed you when you felt things for me. You were hurt and I didn’t give you space to feel that. I didn’t respect that it was real. You were my friend and if you’d come crying about some other woman, I would’ve supported you. So I should’ve supported you when that woman was me”
Jo took a deep breath and looked away. After a long moment, she shrugged. “I was barking up the wrong tree with you. You made that clear from the start; I just didn’t want to hear it. Or maybe I thought I could change you. But I couldn’t, and that’s okay, because people shouldn’t be changed.”
Dani agreed with that, to a certain extent. People shouldn’t be changed—but perhaps they should grow. Which would explain the constant, hollow ache that had filled her chest whenever she tried not to care about Zaf and failed.
Growing pains.
“Thank you for apologizing,” Jo said. “I appreciate it.”
“Yes, well. Record the incident in your diary tonight, because I doubt it’ll ever happen again.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” Jo snorted. “And I’m sorry, too. Honestly, I just . . . I kind of want us to be okay again.”
“Oh thank God. Yes. Let’s be okay again.”
Jo grinned. Then, after a slight hesitation, she held open her arms.
It was a wonderfully awkward hug, and Dani felt better for it—just as she felt better for being open and honest, for engaging with emotion even if the vulnerability made her uncomfortable. For trusting Jo enough to accept that she cared, and daring to care in return.
They went their separate ways with uncertain smiles, and Dani felt as if she’d been reunited with the best parts of herself. Not the parts so obsessed with staying safe that they electrocuted anyone who got too close. But the strong parts, the determined parts, the ones that made her the woman she was. And she remembered Gigi’s words: You know him best. You know how to explain and how to earn his forgiveness.
Click.
She knew what to do.
Dani hurried off to her seminar, ideas sparking, mentally cataloguing every romance novel she’d ever seen Zaf read or heard him talk about. While her students got to grips with the horror of close reading on a Tuesday morning, she opened her laptop and ordered digital copies of every love story she could recall.
Dani might not be good at everything, but she’d always been damn good at learning.
When the seminar ended, she looked up at the girl with Zafir’s—no, with Zain’s eyes—and murmured, “Fatima. Could I have a word, please?”
The girl nodded, clearly nonplussed.
When the rest of the students had filed out, Dani stood. “I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, and please feel free to say no.” She knew she was being wildly inappropriate. All things considered, Dani had expected Fatima to be yanked from her class long ago. But apparently, none of the Powers That Be realized Dani was teaching her fake—ex . . . oh, whatever—boyfriend’s niece. Clearing her throat, she continued, “I was hoping to . . . arrange something for your uncle. And I wondered if you might have any idea how I could contact his friend Jamal.”
Fatima, thankfully, didn’t seem alarmed by the request. “Sure,” she said with a shrug. “I have his number, if you want it.”
“Oh, thank you! Although—would he mind you giving it to me?”
Fatima huffed out a laugh. “Everyone has Jamal’s number. He might as well stick it on lampposts at this point. He likes to know people will call him if they’re in trouble, you know?”
Now, that certainly boded well. Surely such a lovely man wouldn’t give Dani too hard a time for brutally rejecting his best friend’s heart, would he? No. Definitely not.
And he didn’t—but when she rang him later that day, he was certainly cautious.
“This is Danika Brown,” she said, and there was a heavy pause.
“Hi, Danika,” Jamal replied, his voice gentle but steady, moss over immovable earth. “May I ask why you’re calling?”
“It’s, erm, about Zafir. You see, I know him from work, and—”
“I know who you are.”
Well, yes, she supposed that made sense, what with their fake relationship and Jamal being Zaf’s best friend and so on and so forth. Dani cleared her throat and pulled herself together. “I suppose I’d better get to the point, then. I need to apologize to Zaf. I want to do it in a very particular way, and I could really use your help.”
There was an unnerving moment of silence. Then came Jamal’s voice, several degrees warmer. “All right, Danika Brown. Let’s talk.”
Spending time without Danika did wonders for Zaf’s clarity.
For example, he was now even clearer on the fact that he loved her, and that said love was most likely doomed. Which was a shame, because the feeling seemed to have worked its way into his DNA, and he didn’t know how to stop. Hence calling in sick to work all week: he did have some pride. Enough that he’d rather Dani didn’t see his face until he got better at hiding the slapped-arse, brokenhearted expression he’d been wearing since she’d stormed out of his flat.
Falling out of love with her might take a fucking lifetime, but he’d at least seem calm and collected while he did it.
“Here, my boy,” Mum said, cutting through his thoughts. She plonked a bowl of sweet phirni in front of him and kissed his head. “Eat up. You are wasting away.”
“Er . . .” Zaf looked dubiously down at his belly. He didn’t know who’d snitched to his mum about this Dani situation, but whoever it was, he’d hunt them down and deliver payback very soon. After he’d had enough of all these home-cooked meals, obviously.
Across the table, Fatima groused, “When are you going to come back to uni? It’s weird not seeing you around.”
Zaf dredged up a smile, because he always had one for his Fluffball. “It’s only been four days. You miss me? Hmm?”
She rolled her eyes.
“You do.” His smile widened. “You know, when you were a baby, I used to sneak you spoonfuls of my phirni and you’d smile at me so big. Except you didn’t have any teeth, so it was kind of scary.”
“Ya Allah, not the baby stories.”
“Fatima,” Kiran sighed. “Watch your mouth.”
“Don’t mind your uncle,” Jamal piped up through a mouth of rice pudding. “He’s just feeling emotional.”
Mum poked her head out of the kitchen to pout in Zaf’s direction. “Oh, my poor, sweet boy. Look at you. Depressed, overeating—”
“Hang on,” he said with a scowl, “what happened to ‘wasting away’?”
“—and soon to be unemployed. I knew that teacher was trouble from the moment I saw her. Didn’t I say, Kiran? Didn’t I say, She looks like trouble?”
“No.” Kiran frowned. “You said she was beautiful and that her haircut was very French.”
Mum huffed and disappeared into the kitchen again. “I don’t remember that at all.”
“Lay off Danika,” Zaf called after her. “I . . .” He stopped, suddenly aware that the rest of the table was staring at him.
“You what?” Fatima nudged with a grin.
I love her. I miss her. I know that if she can’t love me back, I need to let her go. But I can’t stop remembering that Danika always surprises me.
He shook his head and told Fatima firmly, “This is an adult conversation.”
“I’m eighteen!” But she didn’t sound as outraged as usual. And then he caught her exchanging an oddly significant look with Jamal, which never boded well.
“What are you two up to?” Zaf demanded, narrowing his eyes.
“Nothing. You’re paranoid,” Jamal said sweetly, which might as well have been a sign flashing bullshit. “And don’t worry, Auntie Maya,” he called toward the kitchen, “Zaf’s not going to be unemployed. He’s too stubborn for that.”
“I don’t think that’s how employment works,” Zaf said with a snort. “But actually . . . Mum, could you come back in here? I have something to tell everyone.”
Mum reappeared with a bowl of her own and sat down at the head of the table. “What? What is happening?”
“Nothing,” Zaf said. “It’s just, well—things have been going really well for Tackle It since . . . since we got so much publicity.” He paused for a moment to work through the catch in his throat, the pang in his chest. The woman in his mind’s eye.
Danika. If there was one thing he’d learned from their month together, it was that risks were always worth it. Even if you fell instead of flying.