I kept my eyes downcast as I wove through the crowd, my hands shoved into my pockets.
“You leaving already?” Reagan asked, her chest pushing against mine as she stepped in front of me. It was like every girl from our school had shown up just to glimpse how the other half lives.
“I have shit to do.” I avoided her eyes as I looked around her to the front door.
“I need some brown sugar. My step-monster found my stash.” Her eyes were pinned, and her hands trembled as she pushed her light brown hair over her shoulder.
“Where’s Nat?” I glanced around the endless sea of bodies. I was hoping that I could find her and convince her to keep what we had done together just between us.
Reagan shrugged as her head cocked to the side, waiting on my response. “You’re the only juggler left after last month’s bust.”
I lowered my voice as I glanced over my shoulder to the room I had left Annie in with Colin. “Stop by later and I’ll hook you up. Just keep it hush. I don’t want bedbugs swarming.”
Chapter 11 - Annie
Colin looked pissed off as he stared me down. I squared my shoulders, ready to take the brunt of his attitude.
“He’s just a friend.”
“That the friend you’ve been sneaking off to see?” he asked as he ran his palm over his jaw.
“What does it matter?” I asked as I slipped on one of my heels. Colin stepped forward and grabbed my arm to help me steady myself as I put on my other shoe.
“He’s not a good guy, Annie. He’s a f**king druggie, and he looks too old for you.”
“He’s not a druggie. He smokes a little pot. So what? He’s funny and sweet.”
“Listing off his good qualities isn’t going to sway my opinion of him,” Colin said.
I looked down at where he still held my arm. He released his grip as I shook my head. “No one is ever going to live up to your ridiculous standards. Just don’t tell Connor. He won’t understand.” I lifted my head, looking into his angry blue eyes, pleading with him to keep my secret.
“I don’t understand.” He shook his head. “Just don’t lie to me anymore. We don’t keep secrets from each other.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“While I have you alone…” He stepped closer to me, towering over me as a mischievous smirk played on his lips. “I have something for you.”
He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small box. I looked up at him as I took it from his hand and slowly opened the lid. Inside was a silver cross.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
“It’s beautiful.” I ran my fingers over the delicate filigree carving over its surface.
“Let me put it on you.” He pulled the thin chain from the box. “Turn around.”
I turned on my heels and lifted my hair from my neck. Colin’s hands went around me as he slid the cold metal across my skin.
“This was my mother’s.”
My breath caught in my throat as my fingers reached up to my chest, and I slid them over the cross. He hooked the clasp, and I spun around to look up at him, a million questions on my lips. He smiled down at me, and his eyes went to the necklace.
“Beautiful,” he said before clearing his throat. “Now go have some fun. I have to find Amanda.”
I smiled up at him as I walked out of the door and was immediately greeted by guests.
The party was in full swing, and the music was loud enough that it drowned out the many conversations. I stopped the nearest waitress and took a glass of wine from her tray as I looked around, wishing Jacob hadn’t left so soon, but I couldn’t blame him. I would leave too if I could. I thought that idea was over as I took a drink from my white wine. It was bitter and dry like chewing on a piece of tree bark, but I drank it down anyway. If I was going to party, I was going to try to enjoy it.
My heart was feeling lighter now that I had made amends with Jacob, and Jacob meeting Colin was not nearly as bad as I’d imagined.
Chapter 12 - Colin
Amanda wasn’t hard to find. She was loud and the center of attention in the formal living room, a crowd of girls around her, hanging on her every word. Her hands moved animatedly as she talked, the wine in her hand dangerously close to sloshing over the edge of her glass. I’d upgraded from beer to scotch, and it flowed like water as the hours ticked by. I couldn’t get my mind off Annie’s new friend. The idea of letting him walk out that door in one piece was eating me up inside.
My cell vibrated against my leg, and I pulled it from my pocket, my heart rate accelerating as I saw Connor’s name scroll across the screen. I motioned to Amanda that I was going upstairs to take the call. She nodded and smiled brightly as she continued to entertain our guests. I answered and hurried up the first flight of stairs.
“Any news?” I asked as I made my way down the hall and up the third flight of stairs.
“Dead end.” Connor sighed, and there was a rumbling on the other end as he tried to suppress a cough.
“How long is this shit going to go on?” I snapped as I walked into my office, my hand dragging angrily over my hair.
“As long as it takes, Colin.”
I dragged my hand over my face with a groan, thankful the alcohol was numbing my anger, but it wasn’t enough. “Keep me posted.”
The floorboards creaked behind me, and I spun around to see Annie standing in the doorway, her body swaying slightly under her own buzz. I ended the call and shoved the phone back in my pocket.
“What are you doing up here?” I asked in a clipped tone. What I really wanted to know was how much she had heard.
“Who was that?” she asked, her chin in the air.
“That was Connor. He wanted to know how your party was going.” I walked toward her, my hands shoved in my pockets.
“You’re lying.” She folded her arms over her chest angrily as she blocked the office doorway. I grabbed her shoulders and easily moved her out of my way as I went toward the stairs.
“Go enjoy your party, Annabel. I’m not in the mood for your shit right now.”
“Actually, I was just leaving.”
I stopped and slowly turned to face her. She took a small step backward as her confidence shrank under my gaze. “Not now, little one. Just go back to your party and hang out with your friends.”
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“Colin, I’m an adult now.”
“Hardly.”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” she retorted angrily, and I struggled not to laugh.
“It’s not safe. It’s the middle of the night, and I’m not going to trust some half-baked prick to keep you safe.”
“That prick cares about me.”
“I don’t?”
She didn’t answer, and I swallowed back my anger as I took a hesitant step closer to her. “Come here. I want to show you something.”
She looked at me skeptically for a few seconds before she nodded. I walked down the flight of steps to the second floor, glancing over my shoulder at her as I unlocked the door to my bedroom. I pushed it open and stepped aside, waiting for her to enter. She crossed the room, turning around as she reached my bed.
I stepped inside the doorway and grabbed the glass decanter of whiskey that sat atop an antique dry sink. I poured myself a drink and held up the bottle for Annie to see. She nodded, her lower lip pulled between her teeth as she sank down on the edge of my bed.
Chapter 13 - Annie
I hated that Colin and Connor were keeping secrets from me. It made me feel more alone than ever. The only person who seemed to care about me at all anymore was Jacob, and I had nearly destroyed that.
I stared at Colin’s back as he poured our drinks, not speaking.
“I’m sorry I was being such a bitch. I just hate that you never tell me anything. I’m not a child anymore. If something is happening, I have a right to know.”
Colin hung his head as he leaned with both hands on the wooden stand. “It’s not that simple.”
“Yes it is.”
He turned to face me, a drink in each hand, sadness on his face. He held a glass out to me, and I took it with a small appreciative smile. I sniffed as I raised it to my mouth, scrunching my nose at its harsh smell.
“Breathe out, drink, then you inhale,” he said before pouring his drink back like water.
I expelled all of the air from my lungs and tilted the glass back, fire burning its way down my throat as a drop of amber liquid slid over my lip and down my chin. Colin wiped it away with his finger before it could hit my stark white dress.
I gasped, hating the flavor of the alcohol more than the bitter wood taste of the wine. “That doesn’t make it any better,” I said with a laugh as my body immediately began to warm and my lips went numb. Colin took the glass from my hand and set them both on his nightstand.
“It takes practice.”
As my laugh subsided, I looked over at him. He still looked troubled. “What did you want to show me?” I asked as I blinked my heavy eyelids, my tongue feeling thick.
“I wanted to show you that I do care about you.”
“What?” His voice sounded muffled as I squeezed my eyes shut before forcing them wide, the room blurring around me.
“Shh…I’m sorry.” His hands were on my shoulders as he lowered me onto the mattress. “I couldn’t risk you screaming and our guests hearing you.” He tucked my hair behind my ear, and I couldn’t even lift an arm to protest. “It’s just the pills that I take to help me sleep through the nightmares. It’ll wear off by morning.” His warm lips pressed against my forehead, and the bed moved beside me. I listened to his footsteps grow distant, and then his door closed. The faint click of a lock registered in my mind before dreams took over.
I slid down to my knees, the hard wooden floorboards causing them to ache instantaneously, but the pain was welcome as the rest of my body felt numb. I glanced up at Colin, who smiled sadly as he dropped to his knees beside me and grabbed my hand in his, clutching it painfully tight at his side. We let our eyes fall closed, and Taylor began to say a prayer at the front of the church for my mother.
“Dear Lord, I ask you to turn this weakness into strength, suffering into compassion, sorrow into joy, and pain into comfort for others. May your servant trust in your goodness and hope in your faithfulness, even in the middle of this suffering. Let him be filled with patience and joy in your presence as he waits for your healing touch.”
“I need to see her,” I whispered, and Colin’s thumb slid over the back of my hand in warning to not speak. I pictured my mother’s vibrant smile the day we came here, full of hope and wanting to help others. It had been three weeks since I had seen her. She had suddenly fallen ill shortly after we arrived, and now she was resting in the main house. It killed me inside not to be able to comfort her. Taylor said her condition was improving, but he didn’t want to expose her to any other illnesses.
When the service ended, Colin pulled me to my feet, and my knees shook, threatening to give out from under me. He looped his arm around my waist and guided me toward the door.
We left the overcrowded building and made our way slowly across the meadow, the hot Mississippi sun blaring down on us and causing my stomach to turn from the sudden influx of heat.
“I need to see her, Colin,” I said now with more authority in my tone.
“You’ll never get inside Taylor’s house, and if you do, you might not come back out.” His voice was laced with worry, and it jarred me coming from someone who seemed to fear nothing.
“I’ll try to check on her for you, but I have to figure out a way to gain back some of Taylor’s trust first.”
“Why doesn’t he trust you?” I stopped walking and turned to face him.
“Because of you.”
“Can I have a moment with you, Colin?” Taylor called from behind us, and I jumped, gasping audibly.
Colin looked to me before heading back toward Taylor. “I’ll catch up with you at the dining hall,” he called over his shoulder, and I waved as I continued toward the old barn.
Chapter 14 - Colin
I groaned, turning my face into my pillow as I tried to escape the memories, but I had drunk way too much last night and was unable to wake myself.
“The time has come, son.”
I tried to hide my sneer as he called me son.
“I need more time,” I replied, knowing he was losing faith in me and was growing restless with my hesitation. We walked toward Morgan Hall, our own cafeteria, which was nothing more than an old barn that had been fixed up to include a kitchen. Picnic tables lined the inside of the building, and nearly every seat was filled. Our church had grown exponentially over the last few weeks as members from other factions had traveled here to witness what Taylor was calling the Living Testament.
“I had another vision last night.”
I furrowed my brow. He stopped, smirking as he placed a hand on either shoulder. “Tonight is the night.” He laughed with joy, and my heart fell into my stomach. I thought I would have a few more weeks to figure out a way to get us out of this mess.
I looked across the room, and there was Annie sitting at the end of a table, looking down at her food. “She’s not ready. She needs her mother. She’s sick with worry and hasn’t eaten in two days.”
“She needs guidance, discipline. If she is not doing something she should, you make her.”
“Yes, sir.” I swallowed back the bile rising in my throat. I glanced back over at Annie, who looked up, hopeful that I could somehow save her from the man beside me who was playing God.