He sighed loudly but smiled. “I’ll do it for you. Promise you’ll call her?”
I nodded as I stepped into the morning sun. I just wanted to get back to my routine; classes would be a great distraction. I typed the security code for the garage and pulled open the door. There were three cars inside, and I smiled as my eyes landed on the silver Beamer. I’d always loved this car, but Greg always had been afraid to let me drive it.
I grabbed the keys and slid into the driver’s seat. I hit the button next to the visor, and the large bay doors slid open. I backed out carefully and pressed the button again as I pulled out onto Sunnyside Road. It was a beautiful day, the clouds blocking the sun to keep it from being overbearingly hot. It probably wouldn’t be long before they let loose.
I made it to campus as large drops began to patter against the windshield. I grabbed my purse and dug out a hair tie to throw my hair into a messy bun. I pulled down the visor and stared into the mirror as I gathered my hair and secured it at the back of my head. As I flipped the visor closed, I suddenly was staring into the eyes of a soaked Abel, his hands shoved into his jeans pockets. I froze, not sure what I should do next. My eyes fell to the keys that dangled from the ignition. I could run, like I always did. I glanced up again. The rain was coming down hard and heavy, but Abel stood still.
“Shit.” I grabbed the keys and shoved them into my purse as I pushed the door open and made my way to the front of the car. “What are you doing here?”
“I go to school here, remember?”
“What do you want, Abel?”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of those things to you last night.”
“Little too late for that. Do you have any idea how scared I was of you with that gun? You have no idea. No idea.” I shook my head as I tried to maintain my composure; I was dangerously close to losing it. I went to step around him, but he grabbed my arm and turned me toward him. His short‐sleeve white shirt clung to his chest.
“Will you just stop for one f**king minute and listen to me? I f**ked up, Lie. I know that. Let me try to make it right. Can we go somewhere dry and talk?”
“No. I’m done listening to your bullshit. I’ve had enough of you and Trish and all you other ass**les.”
He clenched his jaw as he smoothed back his wet hair. “You didn’t have to run away, Lie. I won’t go back to your place if that’s what you want. I already told Trish we’re done. You don’t have to ever see me again, but please give me a chance to explain.”
I pulled my arm from his grip. “I don’t care who you f**k, Abel. Don’t flatter yourself. I meant every word I just said. I don’t care about you—either of you.” I stormed off toward Gibson Hall and made it to my psych class just as the lecture was beginning. I slipped into a seat in the back near the door and dropped my purse onto the floor.
The door opened, and Abel looked around before his eyes landed on me and narrowed. He slipped into the desk beside me, and I adjusted in my seat to angle away from him.
“You aren’t even in this class,” I whispered angrily.
“Clearly I am. I’m sitting right here, Kettle.”
“You’re f**king hilarious.” I rolled my eyes, and the guy in front of me turned around and narrowed his. I sneered and Abel laughed.
“I’m calling a truce.”
“I’m not interested in being friends with a gun‐toting drug dealer.” I reached down to dig a pen from my bag along with a notepad. I’d left my book in the car, not thinking to grab it after I saw Abel. I flipped open the pad and poised my pen, ready to take notes.
“Come on, Lie,” Abel whispered. “I’m trying to be the nice guy here. I’m trying.”
“Don’t strain yourself.”
He smiled his panty‐melting grin, and I wanted to smack him and my heart for fluttering.
“Fine. If I can’t kill you with kindness, I’ll take a different approach.” He cleared his throat, and I shook my head. “Hey, there, Delilah,” he began to sing, and my jaw dropped in horror as a few people turned around and looked at us.
“Stop it.”
“Oh…it’s what you do to me…”
“Damn it, Abel. Stop.” I sank in my seat and covered my face with my hands to hide myself from prying eyes. I had no idea why he wouldn’t want to follow in his mother’s footsteps, because clearly he had inherited her talents.
Someone a few rows up knocked a book from his desk, and I jumped in my seat, my heart seizing in my chest. The flashbacks from the day that changed it all ran through my mind on an endless loop. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. Abel’s fingers grabbed my arm.
“Lie, what’s wrong? Lie? Was my singing that bad?”
I turned to him with tears in my eyes as I gasped for my next breath. I watched his expression transform from one of playfulness to panic.
“Hey, hey…I’m right here. It’s OK. Come on. I’m going to take you out of here.” Abel grabbed my bag and pulled me to my feet. I followed blindly behind him as we stepped outside. I sucked in a long breath and put my hands on my knees as I tried to block out the tragic memories that assaulted me.
“What’s wrong, Lie? Tell me. What the hell was that?”
I shook my head and shoved him back from me as I squeezed my eyes closed. The rain had stopped, and the heat from the sun was starting to make me feel nauseous.
“Come on.” Abel grasped my shoulders and began to walk me across the parking lot toward his car. I didn’t fight him, because the last thing I wanted was to face anyone from my psych class. I’m sure they all thought I was a freak. So much for becoming someone new. We got into Abel’s car, and still in a daze, I pulled on my seatbelt.
“You gonna tell me what happened back there?”
I shook my head as I stared out the passenger window. He sighed and started the engine then pulled out toward the road. I glanced at the glove compartment, and he reached across the seat and flipped it open.
“The gun is gone. If I had any idea how much it scared you, I would have tossed it the first day you found it.” He drove for only a few minutes before pulling in at a hot dog stand that was a student favorite around here. “Look, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s going on.”
“I don’t need your help.”
“If you say so.”
“Whatever.” I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me. Abel was soon at my side. “Why are we here?” I folded my arms over my chest.
“Hot dogs. Why else would we come to a hot dog stand?” he joked, and walked up to the window to order.
I sat at a picnic table as I waited for Abel to return with our food. If there were ever a time to run, my gut was telling me to run far and fast from him. But instead I waited for him to slide into the seat across from me. I tapped my fingers against the wooden top as a man at a nearby table took a bite of his food. I smiled down at his rat terrier, which was tied to a leash wrapped around his arm. The dog bared his teeth and let out a low, angry growl. His owner sat oblivious as he stuffed his face.
“Making friends?” Abel slid into the seat across from me with a grin.
“Why do people bring their pets out in public when they clearly shouldn’t be around other people?” I snapped loudly, but the man ignored me.
“You’re barking louder than the dog.” Abel chuckled and snapped his fingers, causing the dog to lie down on the concrete.
“How did you do that?”
“Bitches love me.” Abel winked as he slid my food over to me.
He picked up a hot dog and took a bite. “My mom never let me eat these when I was a kid.”
I took a small bite, wishing I hadn’t gotten out of bed this morning.
“She cared about you. You were lucky,” I mumbled.
“Yeah, I was, but I didn’t know it at the time. I just thought she was trying to stop me from having fun, ya know? It wasn’t until I moved here that I realized how lucky I’d been, but it was too late.”
“Is there a point you’re trying to make?” I glanced up at him, and he smiled. A raindrop hit my cheek, and then rain began to pour down over us, soaking our food.
“You coming?” Abel pushed himself up from his seat but stopped when I didn’t move.
“I like the rain.”
“You’re gonna catch a cold.” He smirked, revealing one of his delicious dimples, his messy blond hair wet and hanging over his forehead.
“You don’t get sick from the rain. That’s an old wives’ tale.” I rolled my eyes and stayed put. I didn’t know what I was trying to prove, but damn it, I was going to prove it.
Abel sighed dramatically as he took his seat across from me at the old picnic table.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“If you’re not going, neither am I.”
“Aren’t you worried about getting sick?” I narrowed my eyes as I tried not to give into his playful mood.
“No, Lie. I’m worried about you.” I rolled my eyes, and he laughed, shaking his head. “The point, Kettle, is that you have people who care about you and want to help you, but you’re too damn stubborn to see it.”
“Who? Like Trish?” I brushed some raindrops from my forehead.
“Like me, Lie. Me. If you’d open your goddamn eyes.”
I looked up, his gaze intense as he stared back at me. “I don’t want you to rescue me, Abel. I just want to be left the hell alone.”
“Why? Because you have Brock? Some ass**le who won’t even come see you?”
“He can’t.”
“Why? Why can’t he, Lie? Because if you were mine, I couldn’t go a f**king day without being able to see you.”
I pushed from my seat, completely drenched and boiling with anger. “Yeah, well, Brock can’t visit me because he’s in prison. You happy now? There’s the pathetic f**king truth. I’m alone. I’ve been alone this whole damn time, and your little stunt with that gun brought everything back.” I fisted my hands in my hair, gripping tightly as I gritted my teeth. “Goddamn it, Abel. You’re the exact opposite of what I need.”
He stood as my hands covered my face to hide the tears. He was by my side, his fingers wrapping around my wrist.
“Don’t hide yourself from me, Lie.” He tugged on my hand, and I let it fall.
“It’s not that simple,” I told him.
“It is. It is that simple. You choose to keep me out.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. “Jesus Christ, Lie. I’m so sorry.”
I shook my head but couldn’t bring myself to pull out of his grasp.
“You may not want anyone to care,” he said, “but it’s too late for that. Let me take you home. You don’t have to tell me anything, but I have so much I want to say.”
“You scared me,” I whispered against his chest, and his grip on me tightened as his other hand went to my hair, stroking it softly.
“I know, Kettle.” I felt his lips press against the top of my head. “I’m so sorry.”
Chapter Fourteen
Screaming Fears
We drove to Abel’s house in silence. I was swimming with anger, sadness, and regrets of the past—stuck in limbo. Everyone sees life through his or her own experiences. Some grow and learn to live in the moment, like Abel. He knew how precious every second was and didn’t stop to think about tomorrow. I stayed fixed in the past, forever haunted by the things that had brought me down.
I knew if I could just open up and let him in, we could balance each other. But that was easier said than done. Knowing what needed to be done and doing it were separated by fear—fear of the past, the unknown. I was too angry, too stubborn to give him the chance.
I glanced around the living room. New sheets of plywood leaned against a wall, covering an old fireplace. New molding had been added around the ceiling.
“It takes time,” Abel said, “but I’m getting there.”
“I’d sell it and buy something new.”
“Yeah.” He glanced around as he rubbed his hand over his jaw. “You probably would. You’re good at running.”
“You don’t know anything about me,” I snapped.
“I deserve that.” Abel cringed, and I hated myself for taking a jab at him. Old habits die hard.
“No, you didn’t.” I sighed. “It’s hard to let the walls down.”
“You’re in luck.” Abel walked through the living room to a smaller room that sat behind it. I followed, stopping in the doorway as he picked up a sledgehammer that had a handle at least three feet long. “I happen to be a semiprofessional wall remover, Kettle. It’s a very prestigious title, not to be taken lightly.” He smirked, the dimples in his cheeks settling in deeply.
“Really? You brought me here to work?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “You gonna force me at gunpoint?” I quipped.
“You’ll feel better, I promise.” He shook his head, as he tried not to laugh at my anger.
I rolled my eyes and took a step toward him, holding out my hand for the hammer. I took it from his grip, and it immediately hit the floor.
“Jeez, it’s heavier than I expected.”
Abel winked as his tongue ran over his lips. “I don’t get many complaints.”
“Whatever.” I gripped the sledgehammer with both hands but could barely lift it from the floor.
“OK. Don’t hurt yourself, Kettle. Let’s start with something smaller.” He leaned the large hammer against the wall and handed me a smaller version.