“Say it.” He almost slid all the way out of me. “Say you’re mine.”
“I’m yours, I’m yours,” I agreed, barely cognizant of what I was agreeing to. “Please.”
He crushed his mouth over mine and started to pump harder into me.
It wasn’t until long after, after we came in unison, after he picked me up and carried me to bed, and after I woke up in the early hours of the morning to discover he’d left, that I realized what Caine had asked of me.
And if he hadn’t snuck out on me and ignored my call a few hours later, I would have said his caveman request was a turning point.
Maybe it still was.
Or maybe it had him running scared instead.
CHAPTER 16
I didn’t hear from Caine on Sunday at all.
Whether it was the mixed signals—the back–and-forth “I want you, I don’t want you” shit—or the fact that I’d gotten my period, the truth was I was feeling highly emotional about the state of our “relationship.” I even avoided calls from Rachel and I definitely avoided my grandfather’s calls. I knew if I picked up the phone to him that I’d just spew my accusations at him, and I was still wary of the fallout of that confrontation. Until I sorted my feelings out about his part in Caine’s father’s death, I couldn’t talk to him. Instead I did what I’d been good at doing since I discovered the truth—I pushed it to the back of my mind. Instead I thought about Caine and wondered if it was silly and possibly dangerous to my heart to keep seeing him when so far he was showing no signs of wanting to deepen the connection between us.
By the time I walked into work on Monday, my feelings were hurt. Again. I was unsure whether I should let things continue between us. I’d never thought I was a particularly sensitive person, but I guessed Caine had a way of getting under my skin.
I didn’t know what to expect from him when I got into the office, and what I got was Caine being his usual self. He wasn’t cold or impatient, but he wasn’t overly warm either. He was professional and cordial.
Such blah little words.
I, on the other hand … Well, I was distant.
It wasn’t like I’d had any intention of going into work and deliberately throwing a very obvious wall up between us. It just naturally happened. I walked into his office, took in his handsome face, and felt this horrible, jagged melancholy overwhelm me.
The only way not to feel like that was to have as little interaction with him as possible until I had the feeling under control.
“Here are the photocopies you needed,” I said after knocking on Caine’s door.
He waved me in. “Thanks.”
I placed them on his desk, feeling his eyes on my face. “Do you need anything else?”
“May I have another coffee?” he said, his question quiet.
“Of course.” I began to walk away, but he stopped me, calling out my name. “Yes?” I whipped around to face him.
Caine stared at me, his mood seeming contemplative. “Did you have a good Sunday?”
I was surprised by the question. And honestly I didn’t like it. It was a question that reminded me I’d woken up alone, thus ensuring that the rest of my Sunday would be utter crap. There was nothing quite like a guy sneaking out on you after sex to diminish your confidence. “It was fine.”
“Did you do anything nice?”
I wept like a dumb-ass little girl when I woke up alone, and then I spent the rest of the day curled up on the sofa feeling bloated, fat, and tired, as is normal on the first day of my period. I also ate a ton of chocolate. But that part was nice. “I did.” I moved to walk out and he called my name again.
I looked back at him, exuding calm and patience. “Yes?”
“So, what did you do?”
“I hung out. Let me get that coffee for you.”
Upon my returning with his coffee, Caine halted me again by wrapping his hand around my wrist as I placed his coffee on his desk. He seemed troubled.
“Is everything okay, Lexie?” His fingers tightened their grip.
“Everything is fine.” I shrugged and gently pried my hand from his hold.
“You would tell me otherwise?”
“Of course.” At that bald-faced lie I walked out, but I could feel Caine watching me the whole time.
By the time I got back to my desk, I exhaled, letting go of all the air I’d been holding in in his presence.
It was pretty easy to avoid Caine after that, because he was busy with a couple of conference calls. I was buried with work, which took my mind off how I was feeling. Part of me felt more in control being distant with Caine, but there was another part of me that wished my period would fuck off so I could return to my more rational, easygoing self. I had to keep reminding myself that as far as Caine was concerned this was just sex, and I’d agreed with him. Just sex meant emotional distance and I needed to get used to that.
For at least an hour I wasn’t really thinking about the state of things between me and Caine, but that all changed when Security called up to announce a Darcy Hale had arrived hoping to catch a moment with my boss. I had never heard of her, but when I checked in with Caine he recognized the name and told me to let her up.
When the tall, elegant blonde sashayed down the corridor toward me, it took everything within me not to narrow my eyes in suspicion. Everything about her was sophisticated, from her wide-tailored dove gray trousers and cream silk camisole, to the stylish black Gucci sunglasses sitting perched on top of her head. Her blond hair was pulled back sleekly in a high-fashion ponytail that accentuated her sharp bone structure.