“We’re wasting time here,” Roth said sharply.
“You’re right,” Bishop replied, tearing his gaze from mine. Finally, I could catch my breath. “Like I said before, go home, Samantha. Now. And let me get back to trying to save your damn life.”
I actually flinched at that, his words as sharp as any blade. “Don’t bother. I can look after myself. What happened here—” I thrust my chin back in the direction of the club “—shows you need to focus on your mission, not on me. There are other people at risk in this city. Actually, about a million of them. I don’t want to be the one you blame for failing to save them.”
His gaze returned to mine, now guarded. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“No, but it’s what I’m saying.” I swallowed hard, ignoring the burning sensation moving swiftly from my throat to my eyes. “I get it, Bishop. I’m an ongoing problem you need to deal with. And part of you hates me for it.”
His expression tightened. “It’s been a long night. You’re tired.”
I let out a sharp laugh. “You’re right, I am tired. Of all of this. I’m tired of caring what you think about me. I’m tired of my hunger and how it draws me to you. It’s a problem for me, too, in case you didn’t realize that. My life was a hell of a lot easier before you came into it.”
Kraven and the others smartly chose not to be a continuing part of this conversation. They’d backed off, letting Bishop and me have this standoff all by ourselves.
“Is this you being honest with me again?” he asked. “While I hold back?”
“Yeah, what a shock.” I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. “But thanks to that memory meld, now I know why you’re so secretive.”
His teeth were clenched together, madness sparking in his gaze. This conversation was working to unhinge the shaky hold he had on his control. “What happened back then is none of your business. Not yours, not anybody’s.”
My ankle still hurt from being twisted earlier; I hadn’t had a chance yet to ask Cassandra to heal it. But that was the last thing I cared about at the moment.
“You win. I’m leaving,” I said softly. “But can you do me one favor, Bishop?”
He didn’t reply for a moment. “Of course.”
“Stay away from me.”
Surprise slid through his eyes. “What?”
My stomach churned, but I knew I had to say this. Too much had happened tonight. That murder victim had been the final straw. Bishop spent too much time worrying about me, and not enough time keeping everyone else in this city safe. That had to end, and it had to end tonight.
“Being around your soul...” I pushed the words out. “It’s too difficult. I don’t like how I feel when I’m near you. So I want you to do what Cassandra suggested, what the others think you should do, and stay away from me. I want all of you—every one of this team—to stay away from me.”
“Me, too? I’m staying at your house right now, remember?” Cassandra said uncertainly.
“Except for Cassandra,” I amended, glancing in the blonde’s direction. “But you need to give me my space, too. I’m not part of the team anymore.”
“You never were,” Roth grumbled.
Bishop just fixed me with a steady look, his face tense, his eyes glowing soft blue in the darkness surrounding us. “You’re so damn stubborn.”
I tore my gaze from his. “Just stay away from me, Bishop. Please.”
He hissed out a breath. “If that’s what you really want.”
“More than anything.”
I started walking away, my ankle crying out with pain with every step I took. I focused on that pain, welcoming it into my life so I wouldn’t start to cry for real. Or turn around and tell him to forget everything I said, that it was a momentary burst of craziness that I already regretted.
It was the right thing to do. He had to regain his focus. The sooner he did, the sooner this mission would get back on track. And the sooner he could go back to Heaven and be cured.
I wanted to think it was the gray’s dead victim that had inspired this decision, but it was something earlier. Before Stephen, before Seth. It was when Bishop had let me kiss him. How he hadn’t fought it. He’d wanted it as much as I had.
I could have killed him tonight, without any resistance at all.
I cared about him too much to ever want to hurt him like that.
Instead, I’d hurt him in other ways if it would keep him away from me.
I’d gone a few blocks from Ambrosia toward the nearest bus stop before I realized somebody was following me.
My shoulders tensed, but I didn’t have to turn around.
“Did he tell you to come with me?” I asked tightly.
“Uh-huh,” Kraven said. “I’m just a humble foot soldier following orders.”
I let out a groan of frustration. “Awesome. So he’s already ignoring what I asked for.”
“Your charming list of demands? Yeah, well, maybe this will be a onetime thing. Wouldn’t want to cramp your new girl-power lifestyle choices.”
“I can find my own way home.”
I started to ignore him again, but just like last time, he followed me onto the bus when it arrived. He sat in front of me, leaning over the back of the seat to eye me curiously.
“So what’s up?” he asked.
I tensed. “Are you trying to annoy me?”