I tried again. "Thanks for the ride," I stammered. "You're really helping me out. I'm barely getting by and I'm behind on all of my bills. All of the money I made tonight is already spent.”
He glanced at me and nodded. "No problem," he replied. "Maybe you can save up enough money to get by and then get a new job. This is a shitty place for a woman like you." He looked me in the eye making me uncomfortable.
"Yeah, well maybe I'm not better than this." I turned away and rested my head against the cool, glass window. I hated these talks with him. "I'm fine. It's not that bad," I lied.
Caleb turned to look at me but didn’t utter a word, although I knew that he had a lot to say.
The ride passed quickly, I sat in silence and closed my eyes, fighting the image of the strange man that filled my mind. I had dealt with others like him before but there was something different in his eyes. Something that made my stomach ache.
We pulled up to my single apartment and Caleb turned off the engine. He reached over the seat, placing his hand on my arm. I jerked away in response.
“What is with you, Avery? Your life isn’t half as bad as you think!”
I turned to him and rolled my eyes. "You don't know anything about my life," I began. "You've known me for a total of ten months." I opened the door and jumped out. "Are you coming or what?"
He looked at me and shook his head, strands of amber hair falling into his eyes. "Yeah, why not," he mumbled, before getting out of the car and slamming the door shut behind him.
Caleb knew that the only part of me that I was willing to give him was my body – I had made that clear to him many times before, despite the efforts, he had made to get to know me. I hadn’t been able to trust a man ever since my father, and nobody was going to change that.
We stepped into my single apartment and I instantly gripped onto his shirt and pulled him to me. The smell of his § cologne was intoxicating. It turned me on. I wrapped my arms around his neck, draping them around him like a curtain, and pulled his face to mine. My lips crushed against his as I reached for his tight pants and worked on the button while pushing him toward the old, dusty couch that sat in the middle of the floor. We both fell back onto it and I let the animal within me take control. It was the only way that I felt safe.
One hour later and we were both tired. I knew that I needed to get rid of him as soon as I could before he started to assume that he would be staying the night. I gathered up his clothes, belt and shoes and tossed them to him roughly.
He sighed in frustration and looked down at his full hands. "So, I take it I'm leaving now."
I averted my gaze from his disappointed expression and bit my lip. I hated myself for being so cruel.
"You know how this works," I reminded him. "I can't give you anything more and I've made that very clear."
He looked at me and chewed his bottom lip. "I was hoping that I could make you change your mind, Avery." He glanced up from his overused phone with a scowl.
I looked him in the eye coldly and shook my head, keeping my distance. "Well you haven't done that yet. So I'll see you later." I knew that he had feelings for me, but I knew that I would never be any good for him.
“Fine,” he muttered. “I have places to be anyways.”
He gave me one last, fleeting look before throwing his clothes on quickly and walking out my door, slamming it shut behind him. I jumped, closing my eyes, before running my hands through my hair.
I walked into my cluttered bedroom and plopped down on the end of my small bed, fingering my fleece blanket. It was already two o'clock in the morning, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep for a long time. I didn’t want the nightmares to claim me. I rested my head against the smooth wall and closed my eyes, forcing back the tears.
Chapter 2
The morning arrived and I rolled out of bed, no longer able to force sleep upon myself. The brightness from the sunlight that streamed through my bedroom window hit me so hard that I had to cover my eyes, blindly making my way into the kitchen. I took one look inside my fridge to find it empty.
Sighing, I made the decision to find a local diner instead. I slammed the fridge door shut and made my way back to my room to get dressed. I threw on my lingerie, skinny black jeans and a faded gray sweater without bothering to tame my wild hair.
Once on the street, I noticed so many happy couples - laughing, kissing, and walking. The sight made me sick to the stomach. I set my gaze on the sidewalk in front of me and walked for ten minutes, eyes focusing on each crack in the uneven paving slabs. I was about to turn down another road when suddenly I noticed a small, stark white diner sitting across the street. It was so small that it looked like a two bedroom house; but it was still very picturesque with a stylish black sign hanging outside that read The Indy Go. I had never heard of it, but it would have to do. I needed food and fast.
I crossed the road and walked over to the entrance. I reached for the silver doorknob and opened the door. The Indy Go was – to my surprise - bigger from the inside and a lot cleaner than I had first expected. It had a collection of large booths that sat on a vibrant black and white checked floor. I skirted my eyes over the collection of customers who were currently seated in the various booths before focusing my attention on the counter - complete with a clear glass cooler in the front that displayed all of the desserts: lemon meringue pie, chocolate fudge cake, vanilla ice cream. They looked delicious.
I looked over to the waitress, a cute blond-haired woman, and noticed that she was currently serving another customer, so I found a seat at the closest booth and sat down. A laminated menu sat on the metal table in front of me, and I picked it up and began to leaf through it eagerly, stomach rumbling. Everything managed to sound good at the moment, making it hard to make a decision.
Five minutes later, the cute waitress I had noticed earlier came rushing over and took my order. Her blue eyes seemed distant as she jotted down the corn beef hash, eggs, bacon and a small coffee, that I ordered. She didn’t even attempt a smile before taking off in a hurry, her short skirt flapping around her thighs.
I leaned back into the leather booth and pulled out my cell phone to distract me until my food could arrive. I could have called Caleb, but I knew that I had to be more careful with him. Ever since meeting him at the grocery store less than a year ago, he seemed to quickly grow attached to me. It made things hard.