She snorted, and I thought about what he’d look like in a year when he was walking and running and laughing and playing. I wanted the noise. I wanted it all over the house. I wanted it filling our lives from here on out.
“Congratulations,” the doctor said as the nurses cleared up.
I kept my eyes on my kid. “How soon can she get pregnant again?” I asked the doctor.
“Damon…” Winter laughed under her breath.
I heard the doctor chuckle. “I think he likes being a father,” he said to Winter.
But I just turned my head and locked eyes with the doctor, and his face fell.
“Oh, you’re serious,” he said, realizing I wasn’t laughing.
He opened his mouth to speak, but it took him a few moments to find his words. “Um, within a few months, I’d say,” he finally answered. “It was a healthy pregnancy. But she needs time to heal.”
And then he said it again, slower and firmer, sounding like a warning. “You should give her time to heal.”
The corner of my mouth tipped up, amused.
Did he think I was a monster?
The night passed as they transferred Winter into another room and took the baby to get washed. When they returned him, we all held him for a while, and Banks, Kai, Michael, and Rika finally left, but I asked Alex to stay in case Winter needed something, and we didn’t want to leave her alone. I stayed by his bassinet, watching him breathe as mother and son both slept, but after not being able to get any myself, I needed to stretch my legs.
I walked over to Winter, pulling my phone off the charger as I whispered in her ear. “Going to get some air,” I told her. “Be right back.”
She moaned softly and nodded, and I left, closing the door behind me.
I went down the elevator and made my way outside, the balmy August air thick and heavy on my skin as I stretched my arms over my head and yawned. I breathed in the smell of hot asphalt and fresh bread from the bakery down the street and dialed Will, but it went straight to voicemail.
I shook my head.
I almost hung up, but then a rush of sudden anger made me lash out. “You knew my kid was coming this month,” I snapped. “Why aren’t you here? You missed it. You know, you’re just really fucking…”
But I stopped and hung up, grinding my teeth together, because I didn’t know what to say.
Asshole.
But after a moment, I felt bad. I had no right to lose my temper with him.
I dialed him back, waiting for voicemail to pick up again. “I miss you,” I said. “We all miss you. We need you, okay? My son needs you. You’re his favorite. I know it already. Just…”
I shook my head again and hung up.
I shouldn’t be angry. I’d done my fair share of shit I thought I needed to do.
This was just important. I wanted him part of this memory.
I turned to go back inside, but a twinge of something else hit my nostrils, and I paused. Realization hit, and I smiled to myself, forgetting Will for a moment.
Turning my head, I saw a cloud of smoke drift from behind a corner and walked toward it, spotting Rika sitting on a parking stump with her legs outstretched and ankles crossed as she smoked a Davidoff.
I walked up next to her, staying standing, and without looking, she handed me the pack and lighter as if expecting me.
What was she up to? She’d been awkward as fuck the past several months, and I was half-tempted to kidnap her again, steal Michael’s yacht, and take her to sea until she had it out with me. We hadn’t gotten a chance to speak earlier, but she was clearly back for a reason.
I took the cigarettes and dug one out, lighting the tip and reveling in the welcome, familiar taste. I took another puff and blew out the smoke, handing the cigarettes and lighter back to her.
“I’m going to tell her she has a grandchild,” she stated, still staring ahead.
So that was why she was sitting out here at four in the morning? Trying to figure out how to handle a situation that was none of her damn business?
“Tell her whatever you want.”
In the months since I’d found out that Rika’s mother was also mine, I’d neither spoken to nor reached out to Christiane Fane. She saw to my freedom after my father was killed, but as far as I was concerned, she owned me that much, so no, I wasn’t grateful. Screw her.
Winning wasn’t important, but the fight was, and she didn’t fight for me at all. Having her around would bring absolutely nothing to the table.
But Rika continued to protest. “Damon, you can’t do this to her. She deserves to be in his life.”
“Do you really believe that?” I asked her even though she still wouldn’t look at me. “What if my father had never told me the truth? Would she have? It didn’t look like that was her plan.”
“Maybe once she learned he was dead, that was exactly her plan,” she shot back. And then she stood up and looked up at me. “The truth is, she wanted you. She didn’t abort you or give you away. And she wasn’t the best mother she could be, but she never hurt me. She never raised a hand to me, and she loved me.”
I shook my head, not caring.
Or trying not to care.
An image of Christiane played in my head, though. Young, crying, holding me in her arms before my father snatches me away. I couldn’t imagine the pain.
But I blinked and shook my head. No. I was a parent now, and I knew, without a doubt, nothing would stand between him and me. She was weak for far too long. My kid didn’t need someone like that.
“She’s not the only family you have, either” Rika pointed out. “She comes with an army of relatives in Africa and Europe. Don’t you want that for your children?”
“No,” I retorted without hesitation. “My children will have Winter and me.” And then I looked over at her. “And you.”
She narrowed her eyes on me.
“And Banks, Alex, and the guys,” I added. “And they’ll have your children. This is their family. It’s exactly the family I want for them.”
And before she could argue any more, I flicked the cigarette off and walked away, back toward the entrance.
“I will win this,” she called out, threatening me.
And I turned around, unable to hide the smile from my face. “I look forward to seeing your next move,” I taunted.
And I spun back around, heading into the hospital.
Honestly, I wasn’t concerned. She might win, but it wouldn’t be tonight, and it wouldn’t happen if I didn’t ultimately want it to. The prospect of having Rika back in play was just too much fun, though, so let her try.
I hated my father for everything he’d done, but even though I hated to admit it, I loved this part. Part of me always wondered why I was drawn to Rika just a little more than other women besides Winter and Banks. I wondered why whatever was between us felt natural and inevitable. How I could’ve hurt her or killed her a thousand times, but something always held me back.
Of course, she was one of my own. Of course, she was. It all made sense last Devil’s Night. Everything seemed to align, and I had no fear.
Like Banks—like Winter and me—Rika was unique. She was built for the wilds, and I wanted her in my family.
Walking back down the hall and heading up in the elevator, I made my way for Winter’s room and lightly closed the door behind me. Her phone sat on the bedside table, an app playing some rain sounds as she slept, and I stepped over, looking in the bassinet at the sleeping baby, who was still swaddled up tight and warm. But now he wore a black beanie with white lettering “New to the Crew.”