I look down at the list of the boys on the football team, with their birthdays, favorite cookies, home addresses, cell phone numbers—and their locker combinations, both gym and regular.
I want to kiss this piece of paper. Alex Lind, you are so dead.
* * *
On Tuesday Alex’s skin looked pink and tender. Today is Wednesday, and it’s cracking. He looks like the lizard Nadia found on our family vacation in Hawaii a few Christmases ago. I almost feel sorry for him. It’s hard to look him in the eyes, even. His eyeballs look so white against his skin. So do his lips. They’re chapped and blistering.
We’re at the lunch table. Rennie leans close to me and whispers, “Alex’s skin is making me lose my appetite.”
I take a bite of my sandwich. “It’s not that bad,” I lie.
“Then you sit across from him,” she says.
He’s so miserable, it seems like it hurts him to eat. I didn’t realize it would be that painful. I’d thought it would be purely cosmetic. Alex catches me looking at him, and I quickly glance away.
As soon as Alex gets up to get a soda, I say to Rennie and Ashlin, “Do you guys think it could be contagious?”
Ashlin looks horrified, and Rennie practically gags on her celery stick. “Oh my God. I’m switching seats,” she says. She moves her stuff two seats down, next to PJ. Ashlin moves with her.
When Alex comes back with his Coke, it’s just me and Reeve at this end of the table, and Alex definitely notices. Reeve must have too, because he says, “Dude, what the hell is up with your skin?”
Alex barely looks up. “It’s the sun,” he says. “Coach needs to calm down on the two-a-days.”
“I’ve been out there the same as you,” Reeve says, gulping down milk. “Maybe you should go to the doctor or something. Get that situation checked out.”
“My mom already made me an appointment for tomorrow,” Alex says. “It’s probably just an allergic reaction. I think our cleaning lady started using a new laundry detergent. That could be it.”
“You should put some aloe on it,” Reeve says.
I sweetly offer, “My dad has an aloe plant. I could cut you off a piece.”
“Thanks, Lillia.” Alex sighs. “First my car window gets smashed; now this. It’s been a crap week.”
“Dude, that was a blessing in disguise. Now you can get those tints you wanted for the windows.” Reeve throws his arm around Alex and says, “Hey, you know what? Maybe you shouldn’t be going to a dermatologist about your skin. Maybe you should go to a gyno. You could have caught some crazy kind of herpes from DeBrassio!” He bursts out laughing.
Alex’s head jerks up. He glances at me before growling, “Shut up, Reeve.”
“Hey, I give her credit. She’s a player just like me.”
I turn to Reeve and say, “Oh, so you’re saying you have herpes?” Reeve just laughs harder.
“Kat’s not like that,” Alex says, his eyes fierce. Then he gets up and throws his lunch into the garbage can.
“I was just kidding,” Reeve calls after him.
I watch Reeve get up and follow Alex out of the cafeteria. It’s surprising, the way Alex defended Kat. Kind of sweet, even. But then I remind myself that this fake chivalrous Alex also cheated on Kat by taking advantage of my little sister, so really, what right does he even have to defend anybody? He’s not fooling me. Not anymore.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
KAT
AFTER SCHOOL ON WEDNESDAY, I TAKE THE FERRY OUT to see Kim at the music store. When I called to ask if I could use their copy machine, Kim put me on hold and made sure the owner, Paul, wasn’t going to be around. When she came back on the line, she said they were pretty low on paper so I should bring what I think I’ll need. I stole a whole ream of it from the library. Five hundred sheets to humiliate Alex.
As amped as I am about doing this, it’s sort of annoying. I mean, basically my whole night is going to be spent doing this crap. I wouldn’t care, but Mary hasn’t done much of anything so far. I don’t blame her for not having any ideas yet—she doesn’t know Alex. But she’s going to need to pick up the slack and earn her place. Lillia’s been all right, I guess. Although her ideas have been pretty weak. The Retin-A thing was fine, but if it were me, I’d have put Nair in Alex’s shampoo or something. Go big or go home.
Whatever. We’re just getting started. Hopefully by the time it’s my turn and we’ve got Rennie in our cross hairs, we’ll be a well-oiled revenge machine.
Kim perks up when I walk through the door. Even though there’s a customer waiting in line to be rung up, she pulls me behind the counter and gives me a big hug. The guy’s a punk with a full-on Mohawk, so I guess Kim thinks he doesn’t give a crap about customer service.
“Kat!” she says. “I’ve missed you, bitch!”
“Missed you too,” I say. Actually, I guess I haven’t. I’ve been too caught up in this revenge thing.
* * *
The summer before my junior year, I spent hours and hours perusing the racks at Paul’s Boutique, checking out bands I’d never heard of at the listening stations. There was one where the headphones had an extra long cord, and I could sit on the floor. I wouldn’t listen to a song here or there but whole albums. Five, six, seven.
Kim kicked me out a few times. She’d be ready to lock up for the night, and I’d be on the floor with my eyes closed, the volume turned up as loud as it could go, with no clue what time it was. It wasn’t that I didn’t have other things to do. I was always welcome to hang out with Pat and his friends. But I could only handle dudes-who-love-dirt-bikes talk for so long before I wanted to lock the garage doors, rev all the engines, and die from carbon monoxide poisoning.
So Kim was, rightfully, annoyed with me back then, because I really was a terrible customer. I’d mostly just hang around all day without buying anything. If I were her, I would have barred me from the store along with the shoplifters.
I’m not sure what made her eventually take pity on me, exactly, but it happened like this—I went up to the register and tried to buy a ticket to see this band called Monsoon in the garage space, even though the show was for people twenty one and older.
Kim called me out right away. She leaned over the counter and looked me up and down. “What are you, like, thirteen?”
“I’m sixteen,” I said, shifting my weight from one foot to the other.
She laughed in my face and held up the ticket. “I don’t think I heard you right. How old are you again?”
It took me a second to figure it out. I cleared my throat and said, “Twenty-one.”
She arched one of her thick-as-hell eyebrows. “Where’s your ID?” I bit my lip. I didn’t have an answer. Luckily, Kim gave me one. “You left it in the car, didn’t you?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
She gave me the ticket. I tried to hand her ten bucks, but she wouldn’t take it. “I’ve got an extra comp ticket.”
“Wow,” I said. “Thanks.”
“Don’t thank me. Nobody else working here wants to see them, so I’ll be working the show alone. Monsoon sucks, if you didn’t already know. And you’re going to help me take down the set when it’s over.”
She was right, of course. Monsoon sucked big-time. But it was still one of the best nights of my life.
* * *
Kim peels herself off me so she can look me in the eyes. “Hey. Sorry about having to be so quick on the phone last week. It was a crazy show. The last band showed up late and so drunk they could barely get through their set, and Paul’s been a complete prick lately. You caught me at the worst time possible. It’s been—”
“It’s totally fine,” I say, cutting her off. Kim’s day doesn’t sound half as terrible as mine was, and anyway, I’ve got to get this done before the last ferry back to Jar Island. “Can I just chill in the office?” That’s where the copier is, and the store computer. They’ve got programs loaded on it to make flyers for shows. I helped Kim make them a couple of times. I’m going to lay this thing out real nice. But not so nice that it gets back to me. I’m thinking a scan of Alex’s handwriting with some cheesy clip art of two unicorns touching horns or something.
“Yeah, sure.” Kim rings up the Mohawk guy, and then he leaves. “What’s this school project about?”
“Umm, it’s more like an art thing.”
“Oh. Cool. And how’s your boy Alex? You guys riding off on a golf cart into the sunset?”
I feel a pang at the sound of his name but quickly try to cover it up. “Eww!” I say. When Alex was on his fishing trip, I came to the store almost every day. And I know I talked about him a lot. God, it’s crazy how much can change in a few weeks. I start walking backward, away from Kim, because I really don’t have time to chat.
“But he was so nice, Kat. You need a nice boy. And he liked you, I could tell. I think you’d be good couple.”
I roll my eyes. “I just can’t wait to finish this year out and get to Oberlin. I’m ready to, like, start my life, you know? If I had to live around here for another year, I swear I’d kill myself.”
Kim’s mouth gets thin. “Yeah. I hear you.”
I can tell she’s mad, but I wasn’t talking about her. Of course I wasn’t. Kim is, like, the coolest person I know. “Kim, I didn’t mean—”
“I don’t know if you ever caught on, but Paul and I are screwing. Well, we were screwing, until his wife found out. So now he’s being a huge prick and bitching about how the register’s off by a dollar or that there’s never any toilet paper in the store bathroom. Dude is trying to fire me and kick me out of the apartment over the store. I know it.”
“Damn,” I say. “That sucks.” It really does. I met Paul once. He’s kind of old. And gross.
“Yup,” she says, and the P makes a pop sound. “You know where the copier is. Just try not to make a huge mess.”
I feel like an ass. But I am in a rush. And when Kim gets in a pissy mood, it’s best to just leave her alone.
As the computer warms up, I take out Alex’s notebook and start flipping through it, because maybe there’s another poem even more lame than “The Longest Hallway.” Though I doubt it. That was so wack.
Near the front of the book, I see something called “Red Ribbon.” God, he is such a weirdo.
Winter stars fall so I keep wishing.
I love the way you look in sweaters.
Can we Eskimo kiss all night long?
’Cause your red ribbon has me tied up in knots.
Red ribbon? What the hell is that? Some kind of menstruation metaphor?
Oh, yeah. This is so it.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
LILLIA
IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT. REEVE GOT THE KEYS TO ONE OF THE empty summer houses his dad’s company takes care of, so everybody piled into cars, and now we’re in some random person’s house in Middlebury. Reeve just told us to take our shoes off so we don’t track dirt on the carpet, but then he helped himself to a brand-new bottle of gin from the bar and mixed it with a bottle of their Sprite. How considerate of him, right? He poured cups for everyone but himself, because he has to have his game face on for football practice on Monday. He’s so very moral about not drinking during the season.
I’m sitting on the living room floor, my legs stretched out in front of me. I’m super-sore from the last week of cheer practice. Rennie choreographed a new halftime routine, and she made us run through it a million times. A few of the guys from the football team are lying on the floor too, talking about some new defensive strategy.
I’m halfway falling asleep when Rennie bursts into the room, Reeve right behind her. “We just had an amazing idea,” she announces. She holds up an empty bottle of beer and does a little dance. “Who wants to play spin the bottle?” she shrieks.
The guys perk up. I’m wide awake now too. No way am I sticking around for this. Quickly I scramble up and say to Ashlin, “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Everybody sit in a circle, boy-girl-boy-girl,” Rennie’s saying. “Ash, go get the people in the Jacuzzi.”
Ashlin covers her mouth and giggles and says, “Seriously, Ren? What are we, in the seventh grade again?”
Rennie glares at her. “Hello, it’s retro. And hello, it’s our senior year. It’s called making memories.” In a lower but not altogether quiet voice, she adds, “Perfect opportunity to make out with Derek, Ash.”
Ashlin’s face splotches, and she jumps up. From the other side of the sliding door, I hear her call everyone inside.
I give Rennie a quick wave good-bye, hoping she won’t notice, but before I can slip out of the room, she grabs my arm. “Lil, you have to stay,” she hisses, giving me a meaningful look. She looks over at Reeve and back at me. “Please. I need you.”
“I have to get home before my curfew.”
“It’s Saturday night! Your mom always lets you stay out a little later on Saturday nights.” Rennie takes my hand in hers, and I know she’s not going to let me leave. “Just till midnight, okay?”
“Fine,” I say with a sigh, “but I’m only watching. I’m not playing.”
She gives me a grateful kiss on the cheek and pulls me over to the group that’s already formed on the floor. Alex is there, sitting next to Ashlin, his hair damp from the Jacuzzi. Jenn Barnes and Wendy Kamnikar, two juniors that Derek is friendly with, plant themselves across from them. I sit down next to Tyler Klask and PJ, a part of the circle but not completely. I’m checking my hair for split ends when Rennie says “Lillia first!” and thrusts the bottle at me.