In our early deaths. Watching Anna be killed. Reality.
This is clearly not what Anna sees when she imagines us. She still envisions rainbows, kittens, and fucking unicorns.
Frustration ignites. I explode. “I don’t trust either of us! We can’t be together in any capacity ever again. It’s a damn-near miracle you’re still a virgin now. If that Sword of Righteousness is intended for you to use, then you should want to stay away from me, too, because I promise I could not resist if you told me to pull the car into that parking garage right now.” I inch closer, daring her. “Could you resist a drug if I repeatedly placed it on the tip of your tongue, Ann? Could you? We’re playing with fire!”
Her eyes are wide and filled with realization. She now sees how hard last night was for me, but pity isn’t what I want. Nothing I say has the effect I need it to have. I glance up at the outdoor check-in desk, which blessedly has no line.
“So, what are you going to do now?” she asks. “Go back to doing your father’s work and pretend you never knew me?”
That’s exactly what I’d intended, though it sounds so pathetically depressing when she says it. I sigh and let my head hit the headrest. “What would you have me do?”
She pauses a long while. “You have to work.” Anna’s voice is full of emotion, and I wish for the millionth time that she wasn’t so soft for the things of this world. I need her to be tougher, more aware. I need her not to love me. I need her to let me go.
“Do you know what my father said when I came home the night after he met you?” I say quietly. “He said God was a fool to put you in my path. And he was right.”
“No. Your father was wrong! And how do you know it wasn’t you who was put in my path? There’s a purpose for you in all of this, too.”
I want to laugh at her naive view and the ridiculous notion that I can be used for anything good, but I can only shake my head. She thinks all I’ve done is seduce a few girls for a bit of fun. The only reason she fell for me is because she doesn’t know everything about me. It’s time to remedy some of that.
I tell her about Father’s relationship with Marissa and watch as her eyes narrow in horror when I mention an underground prostitution ring in Atlanta. That’s right, sweet Anna, I want to say. I’m involved with sexual slavery. What do you think of me now?
“The girl they brought me the night before our trip was the youngest ever. She couldn’t have been twelve. For the first time ever, I refused him, told him I couldn’t.”
She shakes her head, face pale as I release some of the demons that haunt me.
“You put thoughts into my head that Neph shouldn’t have.” I look away from her, out the window. I’ve never shared any of my fears with anyone. I should tell her to get out of the car and go, but now that I’ve opened these cursed floodgates, I can’t stop. She’s the only person in the world I can talk to, and I have to make her understand. “He’ll be watching me now, testing me. I can’t afford to have anything more to do with you.”
“Kai . . . I know you’re freaked out. I am, too. But maybe this sword is a sign that something’s going to happen. Something good for the Neph.”
I feel my shoulders slump. This might be her most naive thought yet. If anything’s to happen with that sword, it’s nothing to do with me or the Neph. Nothing good can come to us.
“You felt power when you touched the hilt, didn’t you?” I ask. I look at her and she nods. “Well, I didn’t. I’m not worthy to help with whatever plan they have for you. So just go back to your sweet and innocent life and stay away from me.”
“Please,” she begs. “Don’t push me away. We can be friends, and—”
This is heart wrenching. I take her face in my hand, forcing her eyes to look straight into mine to make her understand. “We can never be just friends, Anna. Get it through your head now. There can be nothing.”
I let her go and get out of the car, but she doesn’t follow. So I approach the counter and get her boarding pass. Then I open the door to let her out. I want her to leave without another word. This is maddening, and I’m drained. She climbs out slowly and stands before me. I take out the cash and push it into her pocket, thrilled by the small touch.
When she leans her forehead against my sternum I nearly pull her back to my SUV and drive us away. It would mean our doom, but we might have a few more days of fulfilling enjoyment before we were found and brutally killed.
I clench my fists at my sides and resist the urge to touch her. “It’s time for you to go.”
“Wait.” She gazes up at me with those brown eyes. “Remember at the beginning of the trip, when you said you always know right away what you’d have to do to get a girl into bed . . . even me?”
Ah, shite. I don’t like where this is going. I bury my hot hands in my pockets and give a tight nod.
“What would you have to do? For me?”
This is dangerous territory. “Let’s not go there,” I warn.
“Tell me. Please.”
I look into her sweet face, at that freckle at the corner of her mouth, and I clench my jaw. Perhaps it will be good if she knows the truth about my plan to seduce her. It will be better if she doesn’t know how I feel. It will make it easier for her to get over me and move on. It’s bad enough that I know what I’m going to be missing. She doesn’t need to know it, too.