“That such a bad thing? I’m not into hookups.”
He flashes a quick, tight smile. “I can see you, Miss Monogamous, going through a string of boyfriends.”
I roll my eyes. “I’ve had one boyfriend, smart ass. Senior year of high school.”
Gray’s brows lift. “One boyfriend? That’s it?”
“Yep.” I steal his beer and take a long sip. He watches me do it, amusement dancing in his eyes. It hits me anew, the way he makes me feel utterly at home, yet excited. Which is strange; we’re just sitting here, talking and eating. And all I want to do is drink in the sight of him, the way the corners of his mouth curve upward in a perpetual little smile, the strong cords of his neck, or how his evening beard dusts his jaw like raw sugar glinting in the lamplight. My tongue can almost imagine how it would feel to lick that stubble—rough, delicious.
Wait. What? No. There will be no licking of Gray’s jaw. As if he notices my sudden flush, he peers at me, inspecting my face. “What?” I ask in a sad attempt to escape my inappropriate thoughts.
“Nothing.” Gray gives the back of his neck a scratch, and I ignore his flexing muscles. “I just find it hard to believe you’ve been single all this time. You’re…well… You’re great.”
“Thanks, Cupcake,” I say in the face of his blush. It’s cute. And because he’s Gray, I feel comfortable enough to tell him the truth. “I’ve had guys interested. But it soon becomes apparent that they were just as interested in my dad, or rather, who he knew. It would always come up. Could I get them tickets to such-and-such sporting event? Did I know Peyton Manning? Or Eli? Was that really my dad in a picture with LeBron James? Had I met him? And when I answer yes, it’s all they can think about.” I shrug. “I know, I know, hard problems to have.”
“That’s not what I’m thinking,” Gray says softly, his expression somber. “I was thinking that those fuckers missed out.”
Again I shrug and pick at my food, unable to face Gray just then.
“So,” Gray says, “this high school boyfriend not into sports?”
“He was. But his father was a record producer so he had his share of fame.”
Gray’s brows rise and I feel the need to explain further. “We lived in Manhattan at the time. Life is kind of different there.”
“I bet.”
Not wanting to go on with my tired, poor-little-rich-girl tale, I hurry to finish it. “My boyfriend was fine. We hung out. He took my virginity. The act sucked enough that I didn’t ask for a repeat. I left for college. End of story.”
“Sounds awesome,” Gray deadpans.
I leave that one alone.
“No one in college or London, either?” Gray presses, looking shocked.
I resist the urge to toss my spoon. “I met guys, sure. But no one that I wanted to start a relationship with, okay?”
“Okay.” He says it as though he’s placating me. Which makes me want to snarl more. But I don’t.
So we eat. Until Gray starts shifting in his seat, getting antsy, his thumb tapping out an agitated rhythm on the table.
“What now?” I ask him.
Gray bites down on his lush bottom lip then blurts out, “If you’re not into hook ups, and you haven’t had a boyfriend in five years…”
I snort. “Are you trying to ask about my sex life, Cupcake?”
It’s cute the way his nose wrinkles. “Please tell me I’m wrong in thinking you haven’t had sex in all this time.”
“You’re not wrong, Gray.”
The room goes silent as he gapes at me.
Annoyance crawls along my skin. “God. Your expression. You look like I’m in danger of damaging my vagina.”
“Not damaging it, but maybe depressing it. This revelation sure as hell is depressing my dick.” He visibly shudders.
I throw a napkin at him and it skims his head, making his hair stick up. “For Pete’s sake, Gray, it’s no big deal. I’m not suffering. Or,” I talk over him because his mouth opens to make another protest, “abstaining because of some greater purpose. I’m not waiting for a husband, or afraid of dick, or whatever. It just is what it is. I’ve been busy with school and—”
“No one is too busy for sex, Mac.”
“Oh, please, I’m only twenty-two. I’ve fooled around with guys, done plenty of things to satisfy me just fine. I just haven’t got to the point of having sex again. And, anyway, five years isn’t that long…”
“It’s long enough. What are you waiting for? Your lady-parts to go on strike and completely shut down? I’ve heard it happens.”
His scoffing hurts. Everything hurts suddenly, as if he’s ripped off a bandage and taken a good chunk of skin with it.
“So you’re saying I ought to go out there”—I wave a hand toward the door—“right now and find a guy to fuck before my lady-parts stop working? You know, you’re right. That’s a brilliant idea.”
At this, Gray’s brows rise as his lips part. “What? No, I’m not telling you to go fuck someone right now.” He actually looks appalled. “Just that—”
“That what?” I snap, leaning forward. “You’ve made it abundantly clear that I’m a sorry sack for not having had endless sex all this time.”
Gray’s massive hands slap the table between us. “I’m just saying that sex is awesome, so excuse me if I’m shocked that you’re going without it. If it were up to me, I’d do it ten times a day.”