“I won’t. I just need to see him. I’ll leave after that, get out of the way.”
“It’s not you, Cate. It’s the situation. I’m going to wait out here.” She paused at the door, and her eyes—dull and weary—met Cate’s. “As long as Noah wants to see you, I’ll work out a kind of visitation schedule. I’m not going to put my mother through any more upheaval. I’ll let you know the best times for you to come see Noah. For short periods at first. Rest, a lot of rest and a lot of quiet are what he needs.”
“I won’t stay long.”
Bracing herself, Cate pushed the door open.
Nothing could have prepared her. Bruises violent as storm clouds covered his beautiful face. Swelling distorted its shape. His left eye bulged out, red and raw. More bruises, black, yellow, purple, surrounded his right.
He lay so still on the white sheets in a hospital gown of washed-out blue that showed more bruising on his arms, ugly scrapes clawing down his skin. For a moment she feared he wasn’t breathing, then she saw the movement of his chest, heard the beep of the monitor.
Everything inside her wanted to rush to him, simply cover his body with her own and pour her heart into him. Give him strength, ease all the pain.
But she walked slowly, softly in the dim room with its single window shaded against the light. She took his hand, lightly, gently.
“I wish I could be here when you wake up, I wish I could talk to you. But you need to rest. I’ll come every day, stay as long as they let me. Lily sends her love, and even when I can’t be here, you have to know you have mine.”
She bent down, kissed his hand, then left as she’d come in. Slowly and softly.
In the drugging summer heat, in the blast of summer sun, Cate walked the nearly thirty blocks home.
The early hour meant shops remained closed, most tourists had yet to venture out. It was a time, as she walked uptown, of dog walkers, nannies, joggers heading to the park, suits with early meetings. No one paid any more attention to her than she did to them.
She’d left him there, battered and broken, because he had a family who loved him. And one who now resented her. Even Bekka, she thought. What Bekka did, she’d done for Noah.
Cate couldn’t blame her. Couldn’t blame any of them.
How much, she wondered, would Noah blame her?
She walked from the heat to the cool of the lobby, to the elevator, down the hall, to the door. Inside.
“Catey. Oh, my poor baby. Come, come sit down. Did you walk? Let me—”
Shaking her head, shaking all over, Cate bolted to the powder room. The sickness she’d carried inside expelled, brutally, viciously, as Lily rushed in behind her, held her hair back with one hand, reached for a guest towel with the other.
“All right, sweets. It’s all right.”
She wet the cloth with cold water, laid it against Cate’s forehead, then the back of her neck.
“Here now, you need to lie down. Come on now.” She pulled Cate up, supported her as she wept, made soothing noises as she steered her to the bedroom and the bed. “I’m going to get you some water, some ginger ale.”
She hurried out, came back with two glasses. “Water first, that’s my girl.” She propped pillows up, settled Cate back against them. “Slow sips, that’s the way. When you’re steady enough, you’re going to take a nice cool shower, and I’ll get you some fresh clothes.”
First, Lily sat on the side of the bed, brushed Cate’s sweat-damp hair back from her face. “Can you tell me?”
“Two men. His face, G-Lil, they beat him so bad. He’s going to need surgery, more than one. Two men on his way home from walking me to a cab. They beat him. And they called him ugly names. They said because he’s not white and I am. They said my name. He’s just lying there, so hurt. His family blames me.”
“Of course they don’t.”
“They do.” Swollen eyes spilled more tears. “His mother wouldn’t even look at me. His brother wouldn’t stay in the same room with me. They said my name when they hurt him.”
“Because they’re ugly, racist, bigoted shitheels. Not because of you. His family’s scared and worried, angry and worried. Give them time. What did the doctors say?”
“I only know what Bekka told me. They can’t give him much for the pain because of the concussion, and he needs surgery. I saw him for just a minute, but he was sleeping. I couldn’t stay because . . .”
“That’s all right. He’s young, he’s strong, and nobody’s in better shape than a dancer. Sip a little ginger ale now.”
She urged Cate to drink, then nudged her into the shower, got her girl some fresh clothes. Checking the time, calculating, she put off calling Hugh. No point waking him so early with this kind of news. And the same went for Aidan.
She’d call her director as soon as she felt Cate was steady. Another hour before Mimi arrived, she thought. Considering, she texted her personal assistant, asked her to work from her apartment, and to hold any calls that weren’t vital.
She’d make tea. She’d—
“G-Lil.”
She turned to see Cate, wet hair pulled back in a tail to leave her face, so young, so sad, unframed.
“Why don’t you lie down awhile, my sweets? I’m going to make us some tea.”
“I’m all right. The shower helped. I guess throwing up did, too. I’m all right. I’ll make tea. Being busy with something has to help, too.”
She started to walk toward the kitchen, then stopped, pulled Lily into a hug. “Thanks.”
“Nothing to thank me for.”
“Only everything. You’ve been my mother, my grandmother, somehow both almost as long as I can remember. You’re my G-Lil, and I needed you so much.”
“Now you’re going to make me cry.”
“You didn’t call Dad or Grandpa yet, did you?”
“I was going to give it another hour.”
“Good.” She stepped back. “I’ll make tea, and maybe you can help me figure out what I should do.”
“All right. I like figuring.”
They started for the kitchen together when the house phone rang.
“I’ll get that.” Lily detoured, picked up the phone. “Lily Morrow. Yes, Fernando. Oh.” She glanced toward the kitchen. “Yes, send them up.”
In the kitchen, Cate studied a bright red tin. “Energy Boost Tea. Does it work?”
“Not especially. We’d better put on some coffee, too.”
“You want coffee?”
“Sweets, that was Fernando in the lobby. Two police detectives are coming. They need to talk to you. I thought it best to just get it done.”
“Yes.” Cate put the tin back, turned to the elaborate machine Lily claimed she loved almost more than sex. “I want to help. I don’t know how I can, but there may be something. I really am all right, G-Lil.”
“I can see that. You’ve always been a strong one, Cate.”
“Not always, but I remember how to be one. I’ll make coffee for all of us.” She managed a wan smile. “Do you think cops drink it black like in the books and movies?”
“I guess we’ll find out. I’ll go let them in,” she said when the buzzer sounded.