To hell with it. Kelsey left the depths of her closet and made a beeline for the phone in the kitchen, sending her two cats fleeing in the process. Her fingers tapped out his cell number from memory and her breath froze up in her lungs in anticipation as it began to ring. When she heard it being answered, she nearly choked, and then the sound of his voice sent a shiver down to her toes. It made a stop in several other places along the way.
“Hey, you.”
Oh, God, yes, sin incarnate. Was she pathetic because it gave her a warm glow that he had her number in his contacts? She struggled to sound casual and cheery. “Hi! What are you up to?”
“Not much. Just got home. I’m outside feeding my dogs—” His voice became distant suddenly, as if he’d pulled the phone away from his ear. “Dammit, get off me, you big bastard!”
Laughing, she imagined the scene that was playing out right now. She’d seen it before. Evan had Great Danes. They got so excited when he fed them they nearly took him down every time, and being that they were the size of small horses, sometimes they succeeded. “Are those my babies Zeus and Hera?” she asked.
“Babies, yeah. Ponies, maybe. You want them?”
As usual, he had a way of putting her at ease. Banter she could handle. True feelings—yeah, not so much. “I’m sure my landlord and my cats will love me for that. Dogs bigger than my apartment.”
He chuckled. “I swear one of these days they’re going to knock me down and eat me alive.”
“You shouldn’t starve them so much,” she teased.
“Damn dogs eat more than I do. Hang on just a sec, Kelsey.”
There was a rustling as if he was putting the phone in his pocket, and she had a few moments to ponder the imagery of him being knocked down and eaten alive by her. She could hear doggy grunts and whines and Evan scolding and laughing as he poured what sounded like an entire bag of dog food into their bowls. Then happy smacking sounds abounded.
“Okay, I’m back, dogs nourished. How are you?”
“Fine.”
“Are you sure?”
Was she such an open book? The worst of it was that he knew her well enough that she couldn’t lie to him. It was all those nights back in college—venting to each other about classes, professors and Evan’s various girlfriends until the sun came up—that had given him this keen insight into her soul. Some of the best times of her life, even if he’d never laid a hand on her. “Yeah, just packing, nothing new,” she said. “I just…” Wanted to hear your voice. “I wanted to see what you were up to. Are you excited?”
He scoffed. “Are you kidding? You know I am.” She heard a sound like a door opening and closing. He must have entered his house. “I’m all packed and ready myself. That’s a record for me. I’m usually still throwing stuff in as I head out the door.”
“I’m impressed, then.”
“You should be.” She could hear the smile in his voice and couldn’t resist answering it with one of her own.
“You’re doing the right thing, you know,” he said.
The statement hit just a little too close to home. “Why do you say that?”
“Because a couple of times I’ve got the feeling you think you’re not. We’re going to have a great time, all right?”
“I know that. I’m looking forward to it.”
“Good. So what are you doing right now?”
“Umm…sitting with my hair all in curlers, a green mud mask cracking on my face. It’s not a pretty sight.” An elaborate lie had always been their code for “nothing”.
“Do you want to bring your curlers and mud mask to my house? I can throw a couple of steaks on the grill. We can celebrate our impending departure.”
“Oh…” Momentarily, she lost her breath again. She hadn’t expected this, though she’d been to his house many, many times…only her husband had always been with her, and those two had been grilling the steaks while Kelsey and Courtney tried to find something in common to talk about. They’d always been like two different species, even back in their friendly days.
“It’s kind of late for you to go to all that trouble—”
“It’s only eight thirty. It’s Friday night.”
She’d wanted to see him and here was her opportunity. Why was she balking? If she was about to spend a week alone with the man, she needed to get herself re-accustomed to being around him. A lot. The last thing she wanted on her vacation was any awkwardness between them. Sharing a room…sharing a bed?
She ran wet and hot between her legs just thinking about it, and about the possibility of seeing him tonight. Only it would surely end in frustration for her, as it always had. It wasn’t like they’d never shared a bed. She’d never had hang-ups about her looks, but she’d decided long ago—nine, ten years ago—that he must find her repulsive in some way, and she’d just never had it in her to seduce him. She hadn’t even known where to start.
Regardless of whether she and Evan would ever take it to the next level, and even knowing the sight of his beautiful face would only break her heart, she was achingly lonely since Lisa had left. She needed company. His.
The contents of her checking account flashed before her mind, and she considered it before making her offer. “All right. Do you need me to bring anything from the store?”
“I’m pretty sure I have everything. If I don’t, we’ll just go after you get here.” That smile was back in his voice. “I’m glad you’re coming out. How long will you be?”
“Thirty, forty-five minutes?” She needed to shower and change. And wear sexy underwear, just in case. God, it was just like college on automatic replay, when she’d woken up every morning and wondered if today might be the day he came to his senses and realized they were meant to be together. Did she really want to put herself through that pathetic yearning again?
“Great. I’ll see you then.” The warmth in his tone curled up and settled around her heart, completely separate from the warmth curling in other places. As they hung up she could visualize his bedroom in her mind—she’d been in it only once a couple of years ago, shortly after he bought the house—with its deep jewel tones and the stately California king sleigh bed. She loved that bed. She could see them together in that bed.
Stop. Kelsey supposed she would never get it through her thick head that it wouldn’t happen for them. Lisa was wrong. Evan could have any woman he wanted and he’d never wanted her. Kelsey had to face that fact, and accept that she would go to his house, eat and drink and laugh all night, then leave. They would go to Hawaii and do much of the same. And she would come home always having a friend in him, but never a lover.
She could accept it, but it wouldn’t stop the hurt.
Chapter Three
Evan put the phone down on the kitchen counter, his smile still lingering even after her voice was gone. And that silly grin wouldn’t seem to go away as he walked over to wash his hands in the sink and take two porterhouse steaks out of the freezer.
“Who’s coming over?” his brother Brian yelled from the living room. He’d been earjacking again, despite the metalcore videos blaring from the TV.