Alexis turned around and crossed her arms. “Well, stop feeling that way. This whole thing is weird.”
Candi burst out laughing. “Yes, it is.”
They shared a look through matching eyes, and something peaceful passed between them. Candi hadn’t asked for this situation any more than Alexis had. They’d both been tossed unwillingly into the game of parental mistakes and consequences, and they had both suffered in their own ways because of it.
A warm sensation took root in Alexis’s chest. “Tell me about you,” she said, returning to the bed.
Candi blinked in surprise. “Me?”
“You’ve told me about everyone else in the family, but the only thing I know about you is that you feel guilty a lot and you once took a DNA test.”
Candi shrugged, but the simple motion carried the weight of a lot of unspoken things. “I’m the black sheep of the family.”
“How do you figure?”
Candi started picking at her chipped nail polish. “I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I’ve switched majors four times.”
“So.”
“We’re Vanderpools. We don’t do that.”
“Then do things your own way. Life is short.”
To Alexis’s horror, tears flooded Candi’s eyes. “I know.”
“I’m sorry.” Alexis winced. “That was a thoughtless thing to say given your father’s health.”
Candi shrugged half-heartedly. “It was hard for me, too, when I found out about you.”
“I can imagine.”
Candi’s face darkened. “He denied it at first, that you were his daughter.”
Alexis held her emotions back, hoping the sting of that information didn’t show on her face.
“But I told him there was no way the test was wrong,” Candi said. “I could only share that much DNA with someone who was my sibling, and unless I came from a different mother, which, obviously, I didn’t, then you had to be his.”
“He must have been pretty shocked.”
Candi nodded, eyes staring at the window. “He begged me not to tell Mom. I hated him for that, you know? I hated him for asking me to lie for him.”
“But you did.”
“For Mom’s sake, not his.” She gnawed her bottom lip. “I feel bad that I didn’t at least warn her before you came to the house. She shouldn’t have found out that way. She’s still mad at me.”
Alexis pulled her legs onto the bed crisscross style and turned to face Candi. “Listen to me. Don’t let this, me, get in between you and your parents. It doesn’t solve anything to hold on to grudges.”
“It’s not a grudge. I don’t understand how he could just walk away from you and your mom.”
“You might not be here if he hadn’t. Besides, he didn’t know about me back then. He didn’t know my mom was pregnant. She’s as much to blame as he is.”
The admission was as sour as a shot of apple cider vinegar and burned just as badly. But it was true, wasn’t it? Her mother could have told Elliott she was pregnant. She should have told him, and the most frustrating thing about all of this was that Alexis would never be able to ask her mother why.
Candi shook her head as if fighting off the emotions that had made her lips tremble just moments before. “Do you have any pictures of your mom?”
Wordlessly, Alexis slipped off the bed, retrieved her phone from her purse, and tapped the icon for her photos. After clicking on the album where she kept photos of her mom, she handed the phone to Candi.
Candi swiped slowly, studying each photo as if trying to build a connection with the woman who’d once been part of her father’s life. “She was really pretty,” she finally said.
Alexis peered closer at the photo Candi was looking at—a picture of Alexis and her mother at Alexis’s graduation from culinary school.
“Dad was right,” Candi said. “You look so much like her.”
“But the eye color is definitely Elliott’s.”
“And mine.”
“And Cayden’s,” Alexis added. She immediately regretted it when she saw Candi’s face light up.
Candi handed back the phone. “Thank you for showing me those.”
“I don’t have many extended family photos like you,” she said, curling the phone into her hand. “My mom was an only child, and so am I.”
“That sounds kind of lonely.” Candi sucked in a gasp and smacked her forehead. “Why do I keep saying stupid shit?”
“It’s not stupid. It was lonely sometimes.” Another sour admission. Another burn of resentment, this time toward her mother. Her eyes grew wet, so she looked away quickly.
“How come you never looked for him?”
Alexis shrugged and returned the phone to her purse. “I didn’t see the point.”
“But you weren’t curious who your father was?”
“I went through phases, I guess. But I had my mom, and she was all I really needed. I figured any man who would abandon her wasn’t worth my time.”
Candi winced.
“Sorry,” Alexis said. Though why she was apologizing, she didn’t know. There was no point in sugarcoating things. “I obviously didn’t know the truth.”
“But does it matter, really? He did abandon you. He cheated on my mother and walked away like there would be no consequences. Whether he knew about you or not, it’s still a shitty thing to do.”
Alexis climbed back onto the bed. “What part of that actually makes you mad? That he lied? Or that he cheated?”
Candi shook her head and bit her lip, as if to hold in something profound and painful. “He kept you from me,” she finally said. “We could have been sisters. I always wanted a sister.”
“Candi,” Alexis sighed, folding her legs under her again. “Even if things had been different, we have no way of knowing how our lives would have been. You can’t regret a romanticized Hallmark version of a past that never existed. We know each other now. Let go of what might have been and let that be enough.”
“But . . .”
“But what?”
“I just . . . The only bond we have now is because he’s dying. What about after the surgery? Will we still see each other?” She blanched. “I swear I’m not trying to pressure you.”
Alexis rested her hand on Candi’s arm. “I know you’re not. And I wish I could give you an answer that puts your mind at ease, but I can’t. I have no idea what the future will hold.”
“But can we at least try?”
“Try what?”
“Being sisters.”
Something akin to a punch to the chest made her heart crack and bleed. Alexis had to swallow several times to loosen the tight ball of emotion that had become lodged in her throat. “I don’t know how to be a sister.”
“I do. It’s just like being friends. It’s a friend you’re related to.”
A silence descended on the room, but for the muted sounds of the comings and goings of the nursing staff in the hallway. Alexis had come to detest the noises of hospitals when her mother was sick. The incessant beeping of monitors and the squeak of wheels. That and the annoyingly calm, hushed tones with which people seemed to speak around her, as if softening a voice could lessen the blow of bad news. And it was always bad news.
But inside her room now, the only sound Alexis could hear was the beat of her own heart, because, for once, her own thoughts were peaceful. Maybe this would be another one of those before-and-after moments that she’d look back on someday and realize it was when things changed, once again.
She suddenly, desperately wanted it to be.
“I should go,” Candi said, sliding off the bed.
“Thank you for coming by and for the photo album.”
Candi did the nervous lip-bite thing and tugged her hands inside the cuffs of her sweatshirt. “So I guess I’ll see you later?”
“How about if I call you tomorrow to let you know how things went?”
Candi’s smile brightened the room. “That’d be awesome.”
Alexis scooted back on her mattress as Candi turned to leave.
“Hey, Candi.”
Candi turned around.
“I always wanted a sister too.”
“Really?”
Alexis managed a shaky nod. “Thank you for finding me.”
* * *
* * *
It felt wrong to leave the hospital. Noah tried going back up to their hotel room, but the silence and the empty spot next to him on the bed drove him to distraction. So he ended up in the lobby bar instead, incessantly checking his phone as he nursed a beer. He’d left the hospital an hour ago, and there was still nothing from Alexis.
Noah lifted his hand to the bartender to order another beer. He tried to focus on the college football game on TV but didn’t actually give a shit. He hadn’t gone to a football school and could never understand the obsession people had with the game. He wouldn’t ever say that to Malcolm, of course.
Noah checked his phone again. Still nothing from Alexis. With a frustrated shake of his head, he turned the phone facedown on the bar and tipped the bottle back.
“May I join you?”
Noah looked to his right, and a blood vessel burst in his brain. Elliott stood next to him, hands shoved in the pockets of a windbreaker.
Noah made a noise that was half snort, half Are you fucking kidding me? “Is that why Candi went to the hospital? To occupy Alexis so you could ambush me separately?”
Elliott blinked and started. “Candi’s at the hospital with Alexis?”
Either he was an incredible actor or he honestly didn’t know. Noah clenched his jaw. “What are you doing here?”
“I thought maybe we could talk.” Elliott extended his hand. “We didn’t meet properly the first time.”
Noah jutted his jaw sideways. After a moment, he accepted the handshake but immediately returned his attention to the TV. He didn’t want Elliott there, didn’t want to talk, and sure as shit wasn’t going to make this easy on him.