“No. Surprisingly, that is one thing she didn’t mention.” She told me everything about everyone else, though—births, deaths, marriages, divorces, scandals, bankruptcies, windfalls. “Toby told me.”
“Yeah, well …” Jonah sighs. “Stationing out of McGrath is the only way to do it. It’s too far to fly back and forth every day, and he can’t risk bad weather through the mountains keeping his pilot from being there. The hunters are paying a ton of money to have one on call.”
I take a deep breath and say what I’ve been preparing to say all night. “If you want to take the job, then you should take it.”
His head’s already shaking. “I promised you I wouldn’t leave you out here alone like that.”
“I’ll be fine.” I hope I sound more confident than I feel. “I’m sure Muriel will be here every day, anyway, whether I want her here or not. And I can always fly home.”
“This is your home.” He glowers.
“You know what I mean. I can fly back to Toronto for a couple weeks.”
He seems to consider this. “What about Bandit and Zeke?”
“I don’t know? I’ll ask Toby or Muriel to help.” I can’t believe I have to consider a raccoon and a goat in my plans. I barely even see Bandit, now that the weather’s warmer and he’s off climbing trees. “We’d make it work.”
Jonah slides the elastic from my ponytail. My hair tumbles down over my shoulders, the ends dipping into the water. “If Jack’s impressed, he’ll want to lock me in every September going forward.” Which would lessen some of the pressure to earn money through the long, dark, unpredictable winter months—something I know weighs on Jonah.
“Of course, he’ll be impressed.” I hear what Jonah’s really saying, though—that this isn’t just for this year. I’ll have to be ready to spend every September without him.
He chews his bottom lip. “It’s not like you’ll be stuck here, anyway. You’ll be able to drive whenever and wherever you want, to visit people.”
I nod and smile; meanwhile I’m wondering, what people? I don’t know anyone. Agnes and Mabel are all the way on the other side of the state, and I can’t get to them by car.
I was right, though. Jonah wants to take this job.
He seizes my chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing my gaze to his. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Because once I commit, it’s a done deal. For this year, at least.”
I smooth my hand over his chest. That’s twenty-one days and twenty-one nights, unable to touch him like this. Out here alone, possibly. I look out over the vast, quiet space.
This is what Jonah does, though. Off-airport landings are his specialty and he enjoys it. It doesn’t feel right, holding him back. I couldn’t live with him resenting me for it down the road. “It’s only three weeks.” Muriel introduced me to a man tonight who’s gone for months in winter, up to the North Slope building ice roads for the oil rigs, leaving his wife and kids at home to fend for themselves. When I hear stories like that, it makes me feel silly and weak to fret over three weeks.
Beneath the water, he runs his palm back and forth over my thigh. “Maybe I don’t wanna be without you for that long. Ever thought of that?”
I smile with the reminder that I’m not the only one who would struggle with this arrangement—Jonah would miss me, too. “You’re a big boy. You’ll survive. We both will. I mean, come on … Jessie Winslow’s husband leaves her for weeks at a time, and look how well she handles it.”
Jonah snorts. “Yeah, I heard exactly what she tries to handle. You sayin’ I’ll come back to you pounding draft beer and hittin’ on Toby?”
“If you do, go easy on him. He’s probably tried to fend me off.”
“Yeah, doubt that,” he mutters.
I rest my head on his shoulder. “Jonah, take the job. I know you want it, and I don’t want you turning down jobs you want because of me. That doesn’t make me happy.”
He sighs, and I could be mistaken, but I sense his relief. “I’ll call Jack tomorrow. He’d have to accommodate my schedule for those two hunting parties I’ve already committed to, but he said it shouldn’t be a problem.”
That guilty prick that’s been needling me all night begins to fade, because I know pushing him to accept this offer is the right thing to do. Yet, I don’t feel lighter about the decision. But this is what life with Jonah will always be like. I need to learn to take the good with the bad.
I lean in to skate my lips across his neck, ready to pick up where I hindered him earlier.
But his blue eyes are searching the porch’s cedar ceiling in deep thought. He swallows hard. “I had an interesting conversation with Sam tonight.”
“I noticed.” The firefighter pilot is a lot shorter than he looks in his yellow plane. Jonah towered over him. “About what?”
He hesitates. “About flying for him. He’s got four Fire Bosses. Alaska Fire Services contracts his company out to help fight forest fires. He wants to know if I’d work for him this summer.”
“What do you mean? Like, fighting fires?” I ask warily.
“Yeah. Last year was bad and they’re expecting it to be worse this year. It could mean work for me through till August, even until I leave in September. I wouldn’t even have to work all winter, if I don’t want to, with the kind of money I can make.” He peers at me. “I’ve always wanted to try it.”
“Really?” Because he’s never mentioned it to me before.
“Yeah.” He frowns. “What’s that look for?”
“Nothing. I just … is it safe?”
“As safe as anything I do is ever gonna be.”
“Yeah, but flying a plane is one thing. Fighting fires is … You’ve never done it before.”
“Which is why he’d train me. I’ve got more than enough experience flying, so that part won’t be hard.”
That doesn’t bring me much comfort, though. What if Jonah has engine problems like we did, while flying over a raging fire? How low will he have to fly? What if the smoke gets too bad and he can’t see? But another, more immediate issue stirs in my mind. “But what about The Yeti?”
“The gig with Sam would be contract only, for the summer.”
“Yeah, but I’m guessing it’s on an as-needed basis?” Forest fires don’t follow a schedule. “How am I supposed to book people if you could be called away to fight fires at any given time?”
“I don’t know. We’ll figure it out.” He drags a fingertip over my bare shoulder, down my arm, my exposed skin covered in gooseflesh. But the look on his face is not carnal. It’s pensive, as if he’s lost in his own thoughts. “I think I’d be good at it.”
“You’d be amazing at it.” There doesn’t seem to be anything Jonah isn’t good at, when it comes to planes. “But this is an entire summer.” The busiest time for any charter pilot in Alaska. “Don’t you think you need to be focusing on building the charter business? At least until you’re established? Tying yourself up for an entire summer for someone else might not be the best move.”