“They’ve known each other since we were kids,” my cousin muttered, still looking and sounding out of whack.
Shit.
My brother-in-law snorted. “So? He didn’t see Bianca for ten years. What? You think he’s going to think of her as being a little sister? You’re smarter than that, Boogie. And Yermo told me all about them at Lola’s quince, m’kay? There’s ‘I love you like a sister’ and there’s ‘I love you as a person.’ I know I couldn’t have been the only one to feel the chemistry in that video they did together either… but okay, maybe I was. Man, you two need to pay more attention.”
None of us could say a single freaking thing.
And apparently my brother-in-law took that as a sign to keep going, so he did.
“But, B, did he cheat on you? Lie? Because he seemed like a nice guy, but I’ve never been a White Oaks fan, so I’ll do it. Next time I get a B-12 shot, I’ll save the needle and use it as proof,” Richard claimed, everything about his narrow face totally serious.
“What else do you know that you haven’t told me?” my sister whispered.
“I don’t know anything for sure; I just have my guesses.”
His guesses. This man was wasting his life in the army when he could probably make a fortune being a goddamn psychic—or at least fool people into thinking he was a psychic.
I was stunned.
“What’s going on? Is there something going on with you and Zac?” Boogie asked again, aiming his nearly black eyes at me.
Shit balls.
Scratching the tip of my nose, I held my breath for a second and decided I’d walked right into this—asked for it really, because why had I thought they wouldn’t notice something was wrong with me? They knew me better than anyone. Including Richard.
But one thing at a time, starting with my cousin. “No, there’s nothing going on with me and Zac,” I told him.
He sagged, but it was Connie who sat up straighter before pointing at me. “You’re lying.”
“Don’t use your mom voice on me, heifer. I’m not lying. Nothing has gone on with us other than hugs and some kisses on the cheeks, which I give everybody in the first place.”
My cousin still looked relaxed, wary but relaxed. He knew I wouldn’t lie to him, and that made me feel better. He just wasn’t going to like what I was going to tell him next. That was for sure.
But there was no way around it now.
“But I was dumb and I started to really… like him, as more than a friend. It’s not like I meant for it to happen, but it did. Again. I told myself not to let it happen, but again, it did. And I knew I had no shot in hell of him being interested in me like that, but….” I shrugged, resigned to being in the same damn position all over again—the idiot who fell in love with her cousin’s best friend. And not just any normal, mere man. But Zac Travis. The butt cheeks of Texas. “I’ve just been upset a little because I let my guard down and he did something innocent that reminded me of why I knew better.”
The looks on their faces were questioning, so I sighed.
“Some girl posted a picture of them together, okay, nosey? She was sitting on his lap. It hurt my feelings, but we aren’t together. At all. He doesn’t even like me like that. I told him, and he started to say something about how he wished I wasn’t your cousin, Boog. So there. He didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t want to stop being friends with him. If anything, I just need to remember what kind of friends we are, and that’s platonic, and I’ll be fine in no time. I’m not planning on spending the rest of my life spray painting ‘Bianca loves Zac’ onto any railroad cars or overpasses. I’ll find someone else to date, maybe we’ll get married, and maybe I’ll have a couple kids, but maybe I’ll have a couple dogs or cats and be a cougar someday. I don’t know. I’m pretty open. So anyway, I’m fine, nothing happened. I’m not traumatized for life or anything, so can we please never talk about this again?”
Boogie didn’t exactly look stunned, but he looked… surprised? Thoughtful? Maybe even… uncomfortable? “Nothing ever happened between you two then?” he asked slowly.
I shot him a look. “He’s your best friend, Boog. No. We’re both affectionate and comfortable around each other. I’ve never seen his wiener, even though I might have tried.”
He jerked back, and his eyes almost bugged out. “Bianca!”
“What? That’s what you were asking, I could see it.”
Connie nodded, one eye still on her husband. “That is what you were asking, and I would have asked if you hadn’t beat me to it.”
She totally would have.
“He’s my best friend too, Boog. You’re my best friend. All three—four of you—are my best friends.”
And fortunately, my cousin had to know that to his bones because he didn’t wait to nod even though his uncomfortable expression went nowhere. “But you like him as more than that?”
I lifted a shoulder. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, but yeah. I love him, but I can learn to love him as just a friend. That’s where more than half of it goes to anyway. So we’re good, or does someone else have any more dumb questions?”
“I have one question, and it isn’t a dumb one,” my sister piped up, lifting up a hand like she was still in school. “Is that why you’re here looking at apartments?”
“Only like 10 percent,” I told her, a little bit lying but not totally. In reality, it was more like 60 percent… 70 percent.
It would still be nice to see her and the kids and my way too perceptive brother-in-law all the time though.
“I have another question, still not a dumb one either,” she said, and unsurprisingly, she raised her hand again.
“Yes, Connie.”
“Has he checked on you to make sure you’re fine since you left?”
I nodded at her.
And my sneaky sister nodded back slowly.
I turned to Boogie, who was the person I worried about the most. “Are you fine, or are you still about to have a shit attack even though nothing happened and getting my feelings hurt was my own fault? And you can’t get mad at him, because he never ever tried to put the moves on me or anything, even though I kind of wished he would have.”
“I don’t have shit attacks” was what he said first.
Even Richard looked at Boogie.
He ignored us though. “I’m fine. Really. Not really. You could’ve told me, Peewee,” he said, turning his dark eyes to me with the start of what seemed like a hurt expression. Maybe because I hadn’t told him before. I usually told him everything.
Then again, he hadn’t told me he was even thinking about asking his girlfriend to marry him, so he wasn’t one to talk anytime soon.
I was still a little salty over it, even though I’d say we were both even at this point. But we didn’t need to get into that. What we needed to do was smooth this over, because the last thing I ever wanted to do was mess up my friendship with him, or Zac’s friendship with him.
“What was I going to tell you, Boog? ‘Hey, I’ve been hanging out with Zac a lot, and I think I’m in love with him? Again?’” I gave him a look. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything and just sprung this on you, but I know it was dumb. I knew it was dumb back when I was a teenager. I know it’s dumb and pointless now. It’s like that kind of love is the only thing my heart knows, but I’m going to get it under control. That sounds lame as shit, but it’s true. He’s your best friend, and the last thing I want is to make things weird between you two, when he hasn’t done anything.”