I never listened to what those TV anchors said about him, about how he was immature and unreliable, about how he’d never reached his max potential.
The thing was, my cousin wouldn’t still be best friends with an asshole.
And Zac wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t given a shit about leaving me hanging.
All that said something to me.
This was my choice—to forgive or not. I hadn’t lived my life waiting around for him to remember me. And whatever reasons he’d had… well, he’d had them.
So, it was up to me, and I knew what my heart was telling me. A heart that could hear my grandma’s quiet whisper in it. A heart that recognized what my eyes could see.
“Yeah, I forgive you,” I breathed out, meaning it completely, down to the bottoms of my bare feet. “Thank you for explaining.”
It was the truth, and it made me feel so much better; it was kind of annoying how much better. I glanced at him over my shoulder again and saw that he’d dropped his hands and was sitting upright in the stool, his features serious.
His gaze was slowly roaming my face too.
I turned back to the counter. I could do my part too. “Hey, speaking of things to apologize for, I’m sorry I wasn’t being very nice when we went out to eat. I was just... surprised to see you.” And being petty. Mostly that. That didn’t come out of my mouth though. “I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothin’ in the world for you to apologize for, kiddo.”
That made me feel more like shit. But since I didn’t want to talk about it any longer than we needed to, I’d take it and run. So I changed the subject, because I was trying, damn it. “So… did you work things out with your agent at least?”
“Kinda,” he answered. “He’s still pissed, but we’re gettin’ it sorted. I just can’t be leavin’ unexpectedly anymore.”
Before I could stop myself, before the rest of my body could catch up with the distance—no, the expectation to not expect anything—my mouth went for it like it always did around people I knew, or at least felt comfortable with. “You gotta tell Paw-Paw to quit BSing and make sure he doesn’t fall again, huh? So you don’t have to leave randomly?” I asked, peeking at him over my shoulder.
That got him cracking a smile that had his elbows coming back up to the island counter. His square-shaped chin landed in the cradle of his broad palm too. But it was those sneaky, subtle, calming eyes that lit up. Familiar and old and natural. Like it hadn’t gone anywhere in forever.
Lord, how was I supposed to hold a grudge when he was looking at me like that? I wasn’t. So it was a good thing that hadn’t been the plan.
Then he nailed me with another smile that might have made someone else weak-kneed. “I know, darlin’. He needs to stop actin’ like he’s a fragile old man.”
I smiled, and Zac gave me a huge grin—a full grin that made the rest of his face light up even more when he laughed.
Yeah, there was a reason why I had missed him. He had always been so nice, and we’d always gotten along so well.
And if that had been the case because he’d felt like he’d owed me for something I couldn’t remember doing… whatever. I wasn’t going to overthink it too much. I was forgiving, and I felt… right about it. Good about it. For however long this lasted, right? I turned toward the food I’d prepped and said, “Boogie told me he’s home now and doing fine.”
“He’s good. They kept him overnight as a precaution,” Zac replied. “He sure was happy to see you.”
I tore open the bag of kale I’d bought and shook some of it out to stick under the tap to rinse in the colander. “I hope he knows I love seeing him. And your mom. I swear she looks the same as she did back when we were kids.” I held back the joke about our age difference though just as it was about to come out. It had been a long time, after all.
There was a beat of silence while I was focused down on the leafy greens, but Zac cleared his throat and piped up again, sounding just a little different when he did. “You doin’ anything the rest of the day? I thought you said you had plans or somethin’.”
Well, that came back to bite me in the ass real quick. “Plans to do stuff here. I’ve got to work tomorrow. You?”
Fortunately, he was either too polite or felt too bad about leaving me hanging to point out I’d lied.
“No. My only plan was to catch up with you, darlin’,” he drawled. “I still can’t believe you live here. Nobody said a word to me.” There was a pause and then, “I can’t get over that I didn’t recognize you. How old are you now? Twenty… seven?”
I knew why no one had. Because in ten years, he had obviously never tried hard enough to see how I was doing, because he could have just asked and hadn’t. If he’d cared. And that was the wrong thing to think about.
I was letting that shit go.
He was here now. I tried not to hold on to stuff like that, especially when it was obvious he was trying now.
And if he could try, so could I.
Expectations.
This man had picked me up from school a time or ten.
“Well, if you want soup for dinner, you’re welcome to stay. I don’t know if it fits into your meal plan though. It has sausage in it,” I offered up, mostly expecting him to decline because he had plans, like a date or something… maybe with that nice blonde.
So I was surprised as shit for maybe the hundredth time since we’d seen each other weeks ago when Zac said, “I love soup.”
He’d loved everything back in the day.
“Sausage, beans, and kale?”
This fool said, “Mm-hmm,” and I couldn’t help but glance at him again. He was taking another sip of water, peeking into the glass as he did so like it looked weird or he was trying to figure out if there was magic in it.
Being cute just came naturally to some people.
“I figured you’d have plans,” I let slip out, only partially regretting it as I turned on the burner beneath my Dutch oven.
But Zac didn’t hesitate to answer. “I told you. Spendin’ some time with you was my only plan, Peewee.”
There he went again.
And maybe that made me feel nice enough that I was able to keep trying to joke around with him, trying to go back to that ground we had built a fourteen-year childhood friendship on. It rose up inside of me like a wave I had no chance against. It was too second nature, and I’d already repressed it enough during the day at work and the last times we’d seen each other.
“Well, la-di-da, lucky me then,” I told him sarcastically, like I would have if he were Boogie or Connie.
Zac laughed, the sound raspy and thick and bright and familiar. “You used to be so excited to spend time with me.”
Yeah, that was nice. So I took it and ran with it. “Well yeah, because all of my friends lived far, and it was only you, Boogie, and Connie nearby,” I deadpanned as I waited for the pot to heat up. It was going to take a few minutes. “Then Connie bounced, and it was only you two left.”
That got me another one of those raspy, bright laughs that felt like an old pair of comfy undies. “You tryin’ to tell me some of my fondest memories were a lie?”