I sucked in a breath and just sat there, looking at him, feeling overjoyed and terrified equally. Wanting this more than I wanted anything, but still…
“What if you change your mind? I’ll have to find another job because I won’t be able to look at you. I can barely look at you now,” I admitted to him, this low-level feeling that might have been terror, but was more than likely adrenaline, running through my veins steadily.
This beautiful man gave me the most earnest expression I had ever seen. “Luna, why the hell would I do something that stupid?”
I fisted my hand. “You don’t—you’ve never even had a girlfriend.”
“So? Want me to lie and tell you I’ve had a couple dozen? Or you good with knowing it’ll only be you?”
Well.
Hell.
“You’re too young. You’re too sweet. You’re too good for me. But I’m done standing around trying to suck up all the goodness you make me feel without you even knowing, Luna. You are my girl. Just you. Nobody else ever has or will be.”
I sucked in a breath and lifted my face to look at his. “I am?”
He nodded, his expression something different than any other I’d ever seen before.
“Really?”
“Really,” he agreed, his smile soft and almost shy.
I bit my bottom lip and couldn’t help but wring my hands as he centered on me so intensely it made me want to hold my breath. You only miss all the shots you don’t take, Lenny had said. I had always told myself that nothing and no one scared me because I had seen the worst in people.
But I had also seen the best, hadn’t I?
“You know everything that matters, Luna. Only thing you don’t is what happened with the cops that day you lied for me. I was with Gio, and he fucked up his sister’s boyfriend because he hit her. I didn’t do shit, but I was there. His family did the same for him. That’s why they came. They needed somebody to try and blame, but I swear I didn’t do shit.”
There it was, and it was exactly the kind of thing I might have expected if I’d thought about it. “I know, Rip. I don’t know how I knew, but I did.”
Those eyes penetrated mine as he said, so carefully, “You wanna know something else, all you gotta do is ask, and I’ll tell you. I’ve already warned you about the rest and you’re still here.”
He made it seem so easy. Could it be that easy?
“Rip?” I asked him carefully, my apprehension disappearing by the second.
“Yeah?”
I swallowed and made myself look him in those blue-green eyes. “Do you like me, or is it more than that?”
He took a deep breath before responding. “Get out of here with me and I’ll tell you.”
* * *
The ride back to his place didn’t take long at all considering the unending traffic even in the evening.
Rip had offered to drive us over to his home, but I hadn’t wanted to leave my car in the bar’s lot, so I followed behind, watching the road as we turned onto a sleepy street in north Houston with spaced-out single-story homes and driveways filled with cars.
When Rip turned his truck into an open graveled lot, with a new-ish rectangular home settled right smack in the middle of it, I knew this was where he lived. I parked my car behind his truck, watching as he got out and headed over, pulling mine open too before I really made much of an effort to beat him.
Rip gave me that one-cheek smile with a dimple in it as he took my hand and led me out, slamming the door shut.
“You made it seem like you lived in a dump,” I accused him.
“It’s no pretty purple house,” he tried to explain as he fiddled with his keys.
I took in the extended sides and length of his home. “Rip, I bet this thing cost almost as much as my house.”
He shrugged, giving my hand a squeeze as he slipped a key into the lock and turned it. “It’s still no pretty purple house.”
He was obviously never going to agree, even though I was right.
But in that moment, I couldn’t find it in me to argue with him over it. That was because… because… connected to the same keychain his house key was on, something dangled from it. Something that looked like an ice cream cone charm. An ice cream cone charm that I’d had on a necklace. A necklace that I had put on him after the car accident.
He’d kept it? He’d put it on his keychain?
I was a goner. I was such a goner that no one was ever going to find me again. Ever. It took everything in me to keep my mouth closed. To save the moment for later, since there seemed like there might be a later between us. I hoped.
He shoved the door open, leading me up the metal steps as he fiddled with a light switch on the wall closest to him.
Light blazed on inside the trailer just as
he pulled me in, closing a screen door and a heavier one as I took in the inside of his home.
I hadn’t been wrong when I told him his place had to be as expensive as mine. It was nice. Patterned tan and rich brown colors were used as the upholstery of two big, comfortable recliners to the right of the entrance. To the side was a table that could sit four. His kitchen, to the left, was way nicer than mine. The appliances were new and shiny, and there was a four-burner stove with an oven and a microwave. He had a nice kitchen island with storage beneath it. If my eyes didn’t deceive me, there were a handful of old-looking cookbooks under there, too. I wondered if they had been his mom’s and couldn’t help but hope he’d tell me someday. He even had a nice fifty-something-inch television on the wall beside a door that had to lead somewhere. The bedrooms? Bathroom? I didn’t know.
And it was clean.
Really clean.
“Are you always this clean?” I croaked, still soaking it all up.
His laugh was warm and rich and so natural, I had no defense for it. It slid underneath my ribs and settled right over my heart. “Not messy, but I might’ve been taking extra care the last few weeks in case you came over.”
I sucked in a breath and looked up at him standing right beside me, watching me even then. “Not for every girl you bring over?” I made myself ask.
He shook his head and fully turned to face me, his hand coming up and sliding across my throat, palming it. Those teal-colored eyes didn’t stray from mine for even a second as he breathed, “I told you I bought this after I moved here.”
“I know.” Did my voice have to sound so small? “It’s none of my business if you have—”
“Nuh-uh,” he said, still shaking his head.
I blinked. “But that was three years ago.”
He raised an eyebrow.
“But you didn’t even like me.”
“Oh, I liked you just fine, baby. I’ve always liked you just fine.”
Yep, I was a goner. “But you were mean to me.”
His smile was slow. “I was tough on you, not mean, and that shit ate me up for hours and days after.”
It had? “You could have always been sweet.”
“I thought I was too old for you. Thought I’d done too many shitty things in my life to have you in it, Luna,” he explained softly. “I didn’t want to care about you, and I fought that shit as long as I could.”
“Because of the bad things you think you’ve done?”
His face softened. “Because of the bad things I know I’ve done,” he confirmed, and that too snuck under my ribs.
I knew all about the guilt that came with doing things that you weren’t proud of. Necessary evils. Unnecessary ones too.
I took a step closer to him, my breasts brushing just across his chest. I felt his hand slip around my back to land on the small of it, pulling me in even more. “But what if I would’ve started dating someone?”
Rip tipped his head closer to mine, bringing his mouth just inches from me. “I would’ve made sure there hadn’t been a second date, baby girl. I know you went on seven of them until this bullshit recently. I know you went to dinner on three, to the movies on two, a baseball game on one, and Mickey’s on another. I listened. I know. I was there the night you got your place broken into. I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”
That was true. That was all true. “How’d you know that?”