The first thing I thought of was Ripley.
“You’ll hold down the fort for me until then, won’t you?” he asked.
Emotion had clogged my throat as I looked down at him, and it was my turn to give his hand a squeeze. “I’d hold down the world for you, if you want me to, Mr. C. Don’t worry about the shop. We’ll all be fine.”
I specifically didn’t let myself think about Ripley and what Mr. Cooper being gone would mean for the rest of us.
The day had been hard enough as it was. Tense and awkward and even a little charged weren’t good descriptions about how all of us had been. All of us minus Rip, who I hadn’t spoken to, made eye contact with or even been in the same room as. Over time, all of my coworkers had filtered into my room to ask about our favorite boss.
Well, besides Jason, who hadn’t shown up for work, and who I’d bet never would again. But I didn’t give a single crap about that twerp anymore anyway. I could get his address like that. But luckily for him, all that seemed unimportant compared to Mr. C’s heart attack. And if I had to choose between kicking his butt or my cousin’s, I would always choose my cousin. Always.
This man I loved and loved me back, gave me a gentle, warm smile that further put things into perspective for me. Life was too short to hang yourself up loving someone who would never love you back, I finally saw that clearly now. “I know you would, Luna,” Mr. Cooper told me. Then he sighed, and his eyes narrowed a little and he said, “I’m sorry about Jason. You have no idea—”
Oh, hell. We were back to him. “Don’t worry about him or my cousin. It’s fine,” I tried to assure him, even giving him a smile so he would know I wasn’t saying it for the sake of it. “It’s not the first time my cousin has tried to jump me, but it’ll be the last.”
Miguel had made sure to tell me they had made it clear whatever they had done or said had settled things. I hadn’t asked for specifics because that had been good enough for me.
Hopefully he would give my message to my dad so he would know too that I wasn’t screwing around. I knew enough to get him into trouble still, and if I didn’t, I would have no problem digging up what would. Because going that far wasn’t out of the realm of possibility if they tried to do something again, and he had to be smart enough to realize that.
“It’s not fine, but I am sorry,” the older man argued. His eyes slid in the direction of where Lydia was sitting before coming back to me. His throat bobbed softly, and he let out another deep sigh. “There are some things I want to tell you… some things I should have told you before….” He trailed off, the expression he was making almost like he was trying to tell me something.
He was confirming it, wasn’t he?
He was trying to tell me that he really was Rip’s father and they had kept the secret to themselves.
He hadn’t lied. Not technically. He just hadn’t… told me or anyone else the truth.
The man who had worked with us for the last three years was his son. A son from the wife he’d had before the one a few feet away from us. A son from the same woman he had told me was, or had been, the love of his life.
And that son happened to be the man who he couldn’t talk to for two minutes without getting into an argument with.
The same one who had made it real clear twenty-four hours ago that he held me in the same regard as just about everyone else who had ever really hurt me did.
Man, that didn’t feel nice to think about.
“I’ll come and see you tomorrow,” I promised, giving him a smile of reassurance so he would know that if I had put things together, I was fine with what he had kept from me.
I wasn’t. Not totally.
But I wouldn’t hold it against him. He had his reasons. He had to. And I would just deal with the small sense of betrayal I felt from this not-a-lie until then.
I wasn’t feeling up to adding another person to my list.
“I’ll come to your house to see you after you’re out of here too,” I kept going, barely holding on to that thread inside of me that decided not to be hurt. “I’ll have to keep you up to date on the shop gossip, huh?”
Mr. Cooper’s gaze searched mine, and after a moment, he tipped his chin down just enough for it to count as him agreeing. But whether or not it had anything to do with him agreeing he needed to hear what was going on at the shop was a different story. We were both well aware of the giant elephant in the room looming over us. There are some things I want to tell you… some things I should have told you before…
Because right then—and I had a feeling that it wasn’t just going to be in that moment or the next, or the one after that—I knew I wouldn’t care enough to get the full story.
My heart honestly just didn’t give a crap anymore.
My heart had been broken, stomped on, and moved to dust just yesterday, and like the other times the same thing had happened, I knew I could regrow it. That was my other superpower. I would make myself always come back from the dumps.
Because that was exactly where Rip had left me to wallow.
I had told him once I didn’t sulk, at least not for long, and I wasn’t about to start for him. It was easier to forget and ignore than it was to hold on to things that hurt.
Before Mr. Cooper or I got a chance to say another word, there had been a knock at the door before it opened a crack and then fully. I knew instantly who was coming in before I actually saw the stained work boots and the white compression shirt that was just long enough to go over the stained blue jeans the new hospital room visitor was wearing.
I knew it was Ripley.
And that was why I slipped my hand out of Mr. Cooper’s and bent over to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I should get going. Call me if either one of you need anything. I’m sure my boss won’t have a problem with me sneaking out of the shop for a little bit if I have to,” I said, trying to sound as chipper as freaking possible.
Mr. Cooper’s head was already tilted in the direction of the door when he said, “Thank you, little moon,” in the same tone he spoke to me every time Rip was around. With a little less affection. With a little more distance.
I had always thought he just didn’t want to make him mad or make him feel like he was playing favorites, but I could see now that it was for other reasons that I wasn’t totally sure I understood. To not make him jealous? To not rub in our relationship and how well we got along?
I didn’t know, and it honestly wasn’t my business to find out. Not anymore. Not ever from the beginning apparently.
“You too, Lydia,” I told her before bending over to give her a kiss on the cheek too, watching as her eyes settled on the man I could hear walking into the room.
Her eyes shifted to me, but her smile was as brittle and tired as her nod. “Thank you, honey. I’ll give you a call soon.”
I nodded and took a step back. “Rest, Mr. C. I’ll come check on you tomorrow.”
I got a “drive safe” and a “take care” from them just as I turned to walk out, but I couldn’t miss the strain in their voices as they said it.
Sure enough, by that time, a figure a head taller than me and a lot wider, stopped right at my side.
I wanted to pretend he wasn’t there, but I wouldn’t.
It wasn’t his fault I had started to believe he genuinely gave a shit about me. I could handle his moods at work. I could handle his secrecy. But making me feel dumb, pushing me away, those things I couldn’t.
It was my fault for thinking things had been changing between us. For being desperate and clingy. It was my fault.
Instead, I looked right up at my other boss and said, pretty freaking calmly and coolly, “Hi, Mr. Ripley.”
He had already been looking down at me. His face, that mask I never knew what to think of. It was that same mask that I tried to replicate, just for a moment, because that was how long I stood there before saying “Bye” over my shoulder to all three of them.
My chest hurt only a little as I left the hospital, and like so many other things, I squashed it down into an even smaller hurt and threw it away.
I was loved, and I had everything. I wasn’t happy then, but I would be again.