“Is that her name?” The council hadn’t bothered telling me when they’d handed down her death sentence.
“It is now.” Ian’s voice softened. “Those sods only gave her a number when they spliced her genes to add ghoul DNA to her half-vampire makeup, but one of the soldiers they captured changed ‘K80’ to ‘Katie’ so she’d have a real name. Cat and Bones kept it when they finally found her.”
I had to look away because of the sudden stab through my heart. “Yes, names are important,” I whispered. “Especially after you’ve been treated like a thing instead of a person.” For a long time, I hadn’t been considered worthy of a name, either. That was another thing I owed Dagon for. Then, needing to stop those memories before they wrecked me in my weakened state, I added, “But what does this have to do with you and Xun Guan?”
Something hard settled over his features. “There are few people I truly care about in this world. You already know Mencheres is one of them. Bones is another, and Katie is his wife’s child. If I’d believed you’d assisted in Katie’s execution, I would have murdered Xun Guan in front of you and considered it payback. Then I would have used my last command to ensure that you continued to help me.”
The temperature of the water hadn’t changed, but I suddenly felt much, much colder. The Simargl felt the new, icy lethalness coming from Ian, too. He huddled behind me, making barely audible whimpering noises. Then, just like that, Ian’s expression cleared and that frigid tension shattered.
“But you helped Katie. Could’ve cost you your job and even your life if you were caught, yet you did it, and you didn’t even know her. Weren’t friends with her parents, either. In truth, I can’t understand why you did it. Cat and Bones might not realize the debt they owe you, but I do, and I couldn’t repay that debt by murdering someone you care for.” He paused to let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Even if it meant becoming the living embodiment of my worst nightmares—a married man.”
I was touched by the deep sense of honor behind his actions. Once again, he’d chosen to sacrifice himself rather than take the easy way out. Ian might be extremely selective in whom he gave his loyalty to, but once he gave it, he upheld it with everything he had.
“Mencheres and Bones are very lucky to have you as their friend,” I said with the utmost sincerity. Then, because I knew he’d hate to be continually praised for his good deed, I moved on. “And once again, let me state that I renounce all my rights as your wife. Seriously, you’ll celebrate our victory over Dagon with a new carnival orgy on my dime, promise.”
“So you say,” he replied with the barest smile.
“I promised with a blood vow. And when vampires make a blood vow, they don’t break it.”
His scoff was instant. “Vampires break blood vows all the time.”
“I don’t,” I said firmly.
“No, you don’t.” His tone was soft, but the new intensity in it made me shiver. “Someone like you wouldn’t give your word unless you intended to keep it.”
Then he reached out, tracing a finger over the curve of my jaw before catching a drop of water that clung to my lower lip. I don’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me before that he was half naked and I was clad only in my bra and panties. Yes, I was drunk, but I should’ve been aware of that. Especially with how the water clung to his bare upper body as if loathe to abandon the deeply rippled muscles.
Maybe I hadn’t noticed before because I’d felt safe. I could hardly remember the last time someone had made me feel that way, and I couldn’t blame it on the Red Dragon I’d consumed. I’d been drunk before and had never spilled any of the secrets I’d told Ian tonight. No, for reasons that defied logic, I must trust Ian on a level that I hadn’t trusted anyone since Tenoch. It made no sense, yet I couldn’t deny it. Not with so many of my secrets laid bare before him. But now, that sense of safety changed, turning into something else. Something far stronger and not at all safe, considering the ferocity of what I was feeling.
“You shouldn’t touch me like that,” I whispered.
“Why?” His voice was as low as mine, but the look in his eyes wasn’t gentle. It was full of the same dark wildness that seethed inside me. “Afraid I’ll take advantage of you in your inebriated state?”
“No,” I said, moving closer to him. “If you keep touching me like that, I’ll lose control and take advantage of you.”
His deep, sensual laugh felt like it brushed my most sensitive nerve endings, leaving them aching for more. When he leaned closer, I met him halfway, and when I slid my hands over his chest, I felt how much he wanted me in the sudden clenching of his muscles and the changing of his eyes to purest emerald.
That’s why I was shocked when he grasped my hands and set me back. “No. You’ve already done many things you’ll regret when you sober up tomorrow. I won’t let this be one of them.”
“You’re rejecting me?” I asked with complete disbelief.
A harsh laugh escaped him. “Yes, and if my cock could talk, it would be screaming its disagreement. But while you’ve been more honest with me drunk than you’ve ever been sober, I don’t know if this is real. And if it isn’t, then I don’t want it.”
He was serious. I felt it in the finality of the way he set me back. How admirable of him, dammit. I leaned against the shower wall and let out a frustrated sigh. “Your unbreakable sense of honor is your biggest damn secret, isn’t it?”
He laughed more naturally this time. “Never tell anyone. My reputation would be ruined.” Then he touched my face with affection instead of enticement. “And your biggest secret is that you’re demon-branded, like I am.”
Maybe it was my exhaustion. Maybe everything I’d drunk hit me with its final, best shot. Either way, I did what I should have done before I revealed too many of my secrets.
I passed out.
Chapter 22
Nip. Nip, nip, nip!
“Stop it,” I muttered, swiping at whatever was nipping me. A frightened squeak made me open my eyes and sit up. Immediately, I wished I hadn’t. Even that small movement made my head clench as if it were being compressed by a vise.
Through barely open lids, I saw the Simargl dart under the covers. I didn’t remember getting tucked into bed, let alone the Simargl getting tucked in with me, but here we both were. Now, I’d terrified the poor thing.
“I’m sorry,” I said, wincing because each word made that pitiless hammering in my head even louder. But the Simargl was still shivering beneath the covers and I hated that I’d scared him. “I’m not mad at you,” I continued, trying to croon as I petted the blankets over him. “It’s okay. You can come on out.”
Slowly, his head peaked out. I smiled encouragingly even though it felt like my face split from the effort. It had been nearly a thousand years since I’d last had a hangover. It was every bit as horrible as I’d remembered. Worse, even. Had I longed for death to stop the pain like I did now?
Finally, the Simargl came all the way out from beneath the blankets. Once he did, he looked beseechingly at the door.
“What?” I asked in confusion. “You don’t need to go out to pee; you don’t have those parts.”