Everything he said made so much sense, I winced. “Yeah, that’d do it.”
Even so, I couldn’t help myself; I tested my arms and legs. They moved as normal and relief swamped me, followed instantly by guilt as Ian turned on his heel and left.
“I’m sorry,” I began, hating how inadequate those words were as I hurried after him. “I don’t know why I said that—”
“Because you were thinking it,” he threw over his shoulder. “You desire me, but beneath that, you still consider me to be a lying, manipulating killer. You’re half right. I do lie and manipulate and kill, but I only do it to other liars, manipulators, and killers. I don’t harm those who’ve never harmed me, and it’s not my fault that that list has precious few names on it.”
“Your friends and your dossier say otherwise.” It flew out before I could stop it. Then I was so appalled, I slapped my hand over my lips as if I could force the words back.
He whirled so fast, I ran into him. “Your precious dossier,” he said in a blistering tone. “Did it tell you Cat murdered my longtime friend and very nearly killed me the day we met? Yet I didn’t repay her as she deserved. I merely kidnapped her mates and blackmailed her over them. Wouldn’t even have done that had Crispin been honest with me about her. I gave him every freedom while he was under my line, and how did he thank me? By betraying me in front of both our lines. He’s right; if he’d simply told me he loved Cat, I wouldn’t have come between them. I would have found a gentler way to avenge my fallen friend.”
“What about Spade?” I asked in a much softer tone.
A scoff. “Even two hundred years can’t diminish Baron DeMortimer’s inherent snobbery. He still sees me as a conniving commoner, so that’s how I treat him over small, insignificant matters. But when he needed help taking down a Red Dragon dealer after Denise, or when he was possessed by a bloody demon controlling his every action, I was there for him.”
“And Mencheres?” I almost whispered.
He looked away. “He’s frequently given me the rough edge of his tongue, and I can’t count all the instances he’s put me in his telekinetic version of ‘time out.’ But he’s always stood by me. That’s why, when I saw Vlad murder him, I summoned Dagon and sold my soul in order to bring Mencheres back.”
Shock hit me. Yes, a video of Vlad supposedly murdering Mencheres had circulated on the Internet, but it had been debunked almost immediately. “You believed that was real?”
Ian’s mouth twisted. “I was there. Didn’t find out it was a sham until after I dealt away my soul. Dagon had a grand laugh telling me how I’d sold it for nothing, because the bloke Vlad beheaded was only glamoured to look like Mencheres. But you know demon deals. No backsies, even if you’ve been tricked.”
My shock ebbed, replaced by the most poignant kind of sadness. “I was there when Vlad told Mencheres about the fake video, but no one mentioned what you’d done because of it.”
“Only Leila knew, at first.” He flashed me a humorless smile. “Dagon froze time as soon as I summoned him, but Leila’s a trueborn witch, so it did nothing to her. She saw the whole thing, including Dagon revealing that Mencheres’s death was a ruse. Knew she’d tell Vlad about it, so I made sure the pair of them were indebted to me by finding the necromancer who’d tied himself to Leila. That bought her and Vlad’s silence, ensuring Mencheres wouldn’t hear about what I’d done.”
Vlad owes me, Ian had said after arranging for Vlad to send his private plane to us. Yes, the Impaler did, and far more than plane loans and other favors could repay.
“Now,” Ian said, his tone turning hard. “If you don’t want me to leave and never return, tell me who betrayed you so badly that you were convinced I was going to barter you to Dagon only five minutes into being bound and alone.”
I didn’t know what startled me more; the abrupt change in topic, or his threat. “What?”
“Has to be a betrayal,” he went on in that flintlike tone. “I know from personal experience what a rape panic attack is, and it wasn’t that. I gave you time alone to see if you could tolerate being restrained without those kinds of flashbacks, but you were dead calm . . . and convinced I’d betrayed you. Why?”
I cast about for anything to say except the truth. “You’d really leave? That would destroy our plans to kill Dagon!”
His jaw tightened until I heard a cracking sound. “For a smart girl, you do ignore the obvious at times. You don’t need me for that anymore. You’re right—if you mute the spell on Silver’s blood, Dagon will come, which now makes my presence optional instead of necessary.”
I knew my mouth was open. Knew I should shut it and say something measured and rational, but the thoughts swirling in my head were anything but. Worse, they all culminated into a cry of Wait, don’t go! that was so desperate, I was afraid if I tried to say anything else, that’s what would come out instead.
A harsh smile curled his lips. “I’ll take your silence as my answer.” Then he spun around and strode down the stairs.
“Wait, don’t go!”
I shouted it with all the feelings I’d tried to suppress. Hearing them so clearly vocalized horrified me. I couldn’t pass that off as concern over losing his fighting skills. My voice had been too raw, too revealing, too honest. He’d know how I felt about him now. He’d have to be deaf not to.
He stopped at the foot of the stairs. I closed my eyes. I couldn’t bear to see the pity on his face when he turned around. I’d let him know I’d fallen for him as if I were a modern schoolgirl texting him all the details about my crush. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I’d well proven the saying that there was no fool like an old fool.
“Dammit,” I sighed, sinking down to sit on the stairs. “Can we both pretend the last five minutes didn’t happen?”
“No.” His tone was so sharp, it made my eyes snap open. He’d turned around and was now staring at me with the oddest mixture of amusement and dangerous intensity on his face.
“Care to elaborate?” I said in a tone as sharp as his. I might be wrecked inside, but I’d be damned if I’d show him more of that than I already had. “I can’t tell from your expression if you’re about to laugh at me or rip my throat out.”
Suddenly, he was in front of me, pulling me up with a roughness that tore my jacket. “Neither. I’m going to fuck you until both of us scream.”
Chapter 34
Ian kissed me so hard, all the feelings I’d failed to suppress transformed into desire. I kissed him back while a new frenzy of emotions exploded inside me. I didn’t care if this was stupid or too soon or dangerous or would leave me heartbroken. I needed him like I’d never needed anything before.
We fell onto the stairs so roughly, the breath I’d gasped in was knocked out of me. Then I ripped at his clothes until his bare skin touched mine. I had to feel him to prove I hadn’t lost him yet. My hands raced around his back and shoulders, reveling in the muscles beneath his silky skin. Then I buried them in his sunset-colored hair to press him closer.
His mouth was bruising, as were his hands as they tore my clothes from me. Then his mouth went to my neck. I cried out as his fangs sank in deep. Heat burst inside me as the juice from his fangs entered my bloodstream. Then his slow, strong suctions increased the pleasure, stunning me with their intensity.