“You don’t know?”
“Well, I know that l’amour is love, but no, I don’t know the rest.”
“It means, “Love is the poetry of the senses.” Some French poet said it. I can’t remember his name. So, meet me at the bench at seven, and we’ll walk down to the game together. Actually, on second thought, come to my dorm room. Pennington 6B. At, like, 6:30.”
“Cool,” she says, and then breezes off.
Evil inner zen.
Soccer.
Coach makes the actual announcements of who is on what team. I did make Varsity, but she also tells us that since the actual season isn’t until spring things could change. Which means I’ll be working out with Peyton twice every day. At least Whitney isn’t in dance or soccer.
We’re doing some running drills on the track that surrounds the football field, where the football team is also practicing.
Aiden runs alongside me for a few seconds, going out for a pass, and it reminds me of how cute he was on Saturday with the points for dances thing.
But then I think about what a jerk he can be. I know it was kinda bitchy when I talked about Dawson in front of him, but he brings it out in me.
He infuriates me.
I swear, no one has ever made my blood boil like he does.
Later, when I’m sitting on the track, stretching my legs out after practice, I can’t help but stare at him. Unfortunately, he catches me and holds my eyes with that power he has. My mind is screaming, Look away! Look away. But it’s too late; I can’t. I just stare into those eyes. Those deep green eyes that are too far away to see the color, but I can still recall every fleck of blue, the little golden line around the edges.
Luckily, Dallas steps in front of me and sits down, breaking the god’s spell. I see his wrist is bandaged up.
“What’d you do?”
“I dunno, sprained my wrist, broke it maybe. If it’s not better tomorrow, I’ll have to get it x-rayed.
“Does it hurt bad?”
“Not too bad. Hey, you wanna sneak out to the cave tonight, just us? Look at the stars again? I’m feeling stressed.”
“Why are you feeling stressed? Because you’re in pain?”
“No, cuz your evil inner zen is corrupting me. And I’ve had a very stressful day trying to perfect my ability to predict the color of a girl’s panties. I also may have got slapped a couple times when I tried to prove my theories, but that is the life of a visionary.”
I laugh. “You’re so funny. And you don’t seem the least bit stressed.”
“I’m not, really, I just want us to hang. I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever.”
“It’s been a day.”
He nods his head, “Like I said, it’s been too long. Don’t think just cause you have your little thing with Dawson you can ditch me.”
“Fine. Can we go after the game is over?”
“No. Be there at the stroke of midnight. I vant to suck your blood.” He does a vampire imitation.
“Vampires can be out before midnight—haven’t you seen Twilight?”
“Yeah, but you know, you catch me in the sun and my brilliance will be too dazzling for you to handle.”
“It’s sunny right now.”
“And you’re dazzled, right?”
Best friend love sucks.
6:30pm
Katie and I do an extreme makeover on Annie’s hair. Then I put her adorable, petite, and way-too-covered-up figure in one of Katie’s tight little school T-shirts instead of the big oversized one she was wearing. She’s nervous that it’s too tight, so I tell her what my mom says. You can have all the brains in the world, but it takes a body to get most men’s attention.
I throw on a pair of jean shorts with a little black tank top that says Wild about Cougars in clear and gold rhinestones and my black Koolaburra boots.
Dawson is waiting outside my dorm, sitting on the short brick wall that surrounds the grounds.
“Hey, cutie, I just texted you,” he says and gives me a sweet kiss on the cheek. He holds my hand as we walk over to his dorm.
“Sorry, we were busy trying to get beautiful.”
He looks at the three of us and says, “Mission accomplished.”
I introduce him to Annie, but he says, “I know Annie. We had a photography class together last semester. You still taking your amazing photos? You were by far the most talented one in our class.”
Annie beams, and I giggle. “She was out taking pics today, actually, and took a few of us, um, sitting on the bench at lunch.”
“You mean kissing on the bench at lunch?”
“Well, yeah.”
He turns to Annie. “I wanna see those, okay?”
She nods her head. She looks really cute. And I’m thinking about who I could try and set her up with.
But when we get to the dorm and Riley, Bryce, Tyrese, and Ace walk out, I notice Ace totally looking her over. So I decide to not play matchmaker and let nature take its course.
And nature is taking its course. Ace, who I thought was sorta a douche, really, is acting like a well-mannered guy and talking to her about Greek Mythology.
And I can’t help it.
That makes me think of the god I know personally.
I’m definitely texting my mom tonight to see if she has some advice. I know she won’t sleep tonight. She can never sleep before she leaves to go on location.
Dawson is sitting on the bleacher behind me, and I’m comfortably leaning back between his legs. He runs a finger down my arm and whispers in my ear. “You have leopard print on your shirt. That mean you have on the leopard bra I wanna see?”
“Maybe.”
“Grrrrr,” he purrs softly in my ear.
I’m shocked by how immediately turned on I feel by this.
“Can I see it tonight?”
“Hmmm. I don’t know. Leopards are pretty wild—you up for that?” I tease.
He plants a kiss just under my ear and whispers, “I am.”
I turn around to face him. “Dawson, we need to talk. About Whitney. About what you’re thinking.”
“I’m really not thinking about her anymore. You seem to have me captivated.”
“We were going to find you a suitable girl to date. That girl was not supposed to be me.”
“Are we dating?”
“No, I just meant—you know what I mean. Don’t give me shit.”
“Maybe we should be.”
“Should be what?”
“Dating.”
“No way.”
“Aw, come on. Why not?”
“You told me three days ago that you're still in love with her.”
“Oh yeah, that.”
“Yeah, that. If I’m gonna date a guy, I want him to like me, not be wishing I was someone else.”
“Still. You're fun, and I really haven't thought about her much the last couple days.”
“Then you’re making progress.”
“And how’s your progress going?”
I sigh. “He used his special powers to stare at me today.”
“You have it bad for him, don’t you?”
I look back at Dawson, who is gorgeous, and think, no, I don’t. Why would I want a stupid player boy, who will do nothing but break my heart, when I have sweet Gorgeous sitting here next to me? I’m going to help heal his broken heart, remake his image, and then I’m going to keep him for myself.
I grab the front of his shirt and pull him into a kiss. It’s the first time I have ever initiated a kiss with him.
Then I say, “I think I’m making progress too.”
At halftime, Riley plops down next to us. “Oh. My. Gosh. She’s driving me freaking nuts!”
“Audrey?” both Dawson and I ask.
“Yes. Fine. We hooked up. That doesn’t mean I want to be tied to her for the rest of my life.”
“It’s been three days.” I laugh at Riley’s drama.
“It feels like a lifetime.”
“I sure hope you used a condom, bro, or it might be.” Dawson slaps him on the back.
“Well, that’s one thing you taught me. Thank God!”
“You should be flattered,” I say. “You must have been good, and she wants more of you.”
“Honestly, it was not good. I repulse myself.”
“Dude, it’s about quality, not quantity,” Dawson says.
“Oh, you’re one to talk. What was it you called the beach this summer? Your whoredom?”
“Shut up,” he snarls.
“Like your kingdom, only your whoredom? Oh, that’s cute,” I tease.
“I was brokenhearted, what can I say?”
“Well, I don’t really care about that. Just tell me how to get rid of her! Seriously, she meets me after class, walks me to my next class, shows up at my room and leaves cookies. Dallas won’t eat them. He’s afraid she drugged them or something.”
“My little bro has a stalker, how cute is that?”
Dawson laughs. I don’t.
But then I know that stalking is really not a laughing matter.
“You’re not helping, either one of you,” Riley complains.
I feel bad for him, so I say, “Well you have a few options. Ignore her. Tell her. Find someone else fast.”
“Shit, here she comes. Pretend we’re talking about something important. And ignore her. Do not talk to her!”
She walks up, sits down next him, and, of course, the first thing out of my mouth is, “Hey, Audrey, what’s up?”
Dawson pulls me back between his legs and snickers. Riley groans.
She says, “Hey! How come you guys weren’t at the party Saturday night? It was so much fun. I was a little drunk, but we had fun, didn’t we, Riley?” She hooks her arm through his and smiles at him like they’re an old married couple with a million stories like this. “Although, oh my gosh, I was so hung over on Sunday. It was awful. I threw up at church.”
“We really didn’t need to know that,” Riley growls.
“Oh, sorry. Yeah, well, anyways, how are you doing, Keatyn? I got to talking to Katie. She seems really nice and, oh my gosh, to have made the dance team, that’s super cool.”
She drones on . . . and on . . . and on.
Riley drops his head down into his hands, like he can’t go on any longer.
I look at Dawson, bug my eyes out at him and then at her, thinking this is a time he could actually help his brother. Make them closer.
He squints his eyes, trying to figure out what to do. Finally he says, “Hey, Audrey, shut the fuck up. We’re trying to watch the game.”
She gets a shocked look on her face and looks at Riley like he should stick up for her.
Instead he says, “Look, Audrey, we hooked up, but I really don’t want to hang out with you. We’re not dating. We’re not anything. So why don’t you go sit with your friends?”
Then it’s me who gets the big eyes. I can’t believe he just said that!
Tyrese says, “Damn dude, that was harsh,” as Audrey stomps down the stairs.
Riley shakes his head. “I know. I’m not usually that mean. I just couldn’t take her babbling on anymore!”
Dawson slaps him on the back. “That was legit, bro.”
Riley beams at the compliment.
And I just felt a little bit of brother bonding. I smile at Dawson and snuggle up between his legs. It’s starting to get cold, and this little tank top is not doing it for me.
“You have goosebumps,” he says, running his hands down the sides of my arms.
“I know, I should have brought a jacket. I’m fine. The game’s almost over.”
“No, hang on. I’ve got a sweatshirt down in my football locker.”
He gets up, jogs down the bleachers, and disappears. A few minutes later, he comes back up with a big Cougar Athletic hoodie and pulls it over my head.
It’s huge and snuggly.
When the game’s over, we walk to the student center for coffee. I’m sitting here wearing his hoodie with JOHNSON emblazoned across my back when Aiden walks in with a friend.
And just when I thought I was pulling myself out of his force field, he takes one look at me. And it wasn’t a big look. It was more of a sneaky sideways glance that, if I hadn’t been watching very closely, I probably would have missed. And, with that simple glance, his powerful eyes pull me back in like a tractor beam. I just want to scream at him, RELEASE ME! Release me! Let me go!
How can you feel so strongly about a person you have only known such a short amount of time? Especially when during that time you have felt equal amounts of love, hate, and ambivalence.
He gives Dawson a S’up then heads back out the door. He pretty much ignores me. Well, except for the tractor beams.
“I better get back to my dorm,” I tell Dawson. “I have a little homework to do.”
He looks at me with a crooked grin and takes both my hands in his big ones. “Is it weird that I want to thank you?”
“I don’t think I’ve done anything.”
“Yeah, you have. Last semester was miserable for me. This summer, well, you heard how that was, and I was dreading coming back to school and having to be around her, and see her, and have her hate me. But, then, she didn’t hate me anymore, and that was almost worse. And then I met you. I don’t know, but it’s like you’re healing me a little bit every time we’re together.”
“Trust me, you’re not the only one that needs healing. I still don’t know what I’m going to do about B. He’s going to be in New York this weekend. Wants to see me.”