He’s quiet for a moment and then swallows hard. “I didn’t realize that he was so serious about you.”
“He is. The guy is larger than life. He doesn’t do things small and I can’t help but notice that Marty wants me the way I want you. It’s easy to see. Irony’s a bitch, huh? Or is that karma? Either way, I’m screwed no matter how you look at it. The guy I want doesn’t want me, and the guy that wants me, well, he doesn’t compare to you.”
Sean’s voice is flat. “I ruined your life.”
Smiling softly, I glance over at him. “No, you didn’t.” Sean makes a face that says he doesn’t believe me. “No, seriously, you made it better. You made me see that I can choose to stay where I am or try to claw my way out. I plan on clawing, and it would have been nice if you were somehow factored into that equation, but I’ll take what I can get. That’s the way the world works. Besides, I’d rather have you as a friend than nothing at all.”
Sean takes my hand in his, and the both of us lay there for a while as buddies. Amigos. Compadres. I can totally do this. I can ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach and the way my arm tingles because he’s holding my hand. Everything doesn’t have to be sexual, even though I want him that way. I won’t think about the fact that Sean didn’t correct me, that he didn’t say our relationship is nothing like mine and Marty’s, and that it’s not completely lopsided. No, I won’t think of any of those things. I’ll lay here and hold his hand, because that’s what he’s offered—his friendship.
Yeah. Being stuck in the friend zone sucks.
CHAPTER 4
Sean takes my new helmet and puts it on the desk. We’re in his tiny hotel room, which is nothing like the nice suite we had back in New York. I’m exhausted and flop down on the only bed. It looks like a double, which totally sucks. I guess I’m sleeping on the floor.
Sean sits on the edge of the mattress, by my feet. “You can shower first. I’ll—” he stops talking and pulls his phone from his pocket. It buzzes again. Someone is texting him. Sean looks down at his phone and grimaces. “Okay, scratch that.” He smashes his lips together hard and glances over at me with a completely conflicted look.
He curses and sends a text back before saying, “I need to go take care of something. If I leave you here to take a shower, will you actually take a shower? Or will you leave the room as soon as I walk away?”
My mouth opens and my cheek twitches. An offended sound that has a lot of hard k’s scrapes the back of my throat before I manage to spit out, “I’m not an idiot.” My hands do this little loop-d-loop thing when I say it, which looks very idiotic but I’m too tired to care.
Sean pinches the bridge of his nose, saying, “You sexted with someone and didn’t bother to confirm their identity.”
Wow. Thanks. “Harsh much?” I glare at him, giving him my best evil eye, but Sean doesn’t look at me. “By the way, I did confirm the guy’s identity. How was I supposed to know that he lied?”
Sean doesn’t state the obvious. Yeah, I skipped that part of the whole sexting experience. Fine, I’m an idiot and he’s too nice to say it to my face. Running his hands through his hair, Sean sighs and looks down at me. I’m still lying on the bed with my hands behind my head. “Avery, someone is gunning for you. This is serious, so please stay in the room. Don’t talk to anyone, don’t call anyone, and don’t do anything until I get back. Promise me?”
“How long will you be gone?” I sit up and try to hide the worry I’m feeling. I didn’t expect Sean to leave me alone. Picking at my nail polish, I add, “I’m a little nervous.” I hated admitting that part, especially because it makes the turmoil Sean is feeling about leaving me ten times worse.
“I can’t bring you with me or I would. I swear, I would.” He’s glancing down at me, but I don’t look at him. Sean leans over, taking my face in his hands. My pulse skyrockets as my skin burns under his hands. A current of sparks shoots through my stomach and into my chest, stealing my breath. It’s not fair that his touch conjures so much. I want to make Sean so lust ridden that he can’t think. I want him to growl, whoop, or do whatever he does when he’s lost in the moment. It’s a luxury that he has denied himself, and I wish so badly that I could give it to him.
Sean’s voice is tight when he speaks again. “Stay here. I’ll be back as soon as I can. It should be before morning.” He releases my cheeks and gives me a lopsided smirk. “You can sleep on the bed.”
“Were you going to make me sleep on the floor?” I sit up and watch him pull his jacket on and pick up his helmet.
“Of course. What guy wouldn’t want a beautiful woman at his feet?” He laughs and the sound makes me smile.
I smack his thigh, as if he offended me, but he didn’t. Instead my mind derailed into Dirtyville again and I start thinking about what kind of things I could do to him if I were at his feet.
“Stop it, Avery.” Sean laughs and shoves me. I fall sideways onto the bed.
“I wasn’t thinking about you!”
“Yeah, right. I know you weren’t thinking about Marty. Or Mel.”
Raising my arm, I hold up a finger, like I’m making an important point while my face is still half buried in a pillow. “I’m not batting for that team.”
“Which makes me really happy.” Sean is at the door and turns back to me. “I’ll bring dinner when I come back. No sexting. No clients. No Miss Black, and no anything.”
I nearly choke. Pushing up on an elbow, I scoff, “No clients? You seriously think I’d take a client while you were gone? Sean!”
Straight-faced, he says, “I was talking about me.” He winks and disappears through the door before I have a chance to hit him with my shoe.
He’s teasing me. I know what he’s doing, and it won’t work because I refuse to have sex with him again. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t screw with him a little bit. There’s a new flat screen TV across from the bed. I glance at my phone and back at the TV as an idea forms.
CHAPTER 5
The bed is hard and the room is dark, except for the flickering light of the TV. I’ve listened to my sexting videos too many times to count. I put them on an endless loop to mess with Sean when he comes back, but he hasn’t showed yet and the damn videos are just making me horny. Plastering a pillow over my head, I roll over and try to muffle the sounds of video-me coming again.
I don’t know how much time has passed, but I must have dozed off because I never heard the door open. A hand lands on my bare shoulder and before I can see anything, I throw a punch and yelp.
My wrist is caught in a vicelike grip before it collides with Sean’s face. He watches me as I try to cut through the sleep induced haze. Words tumble out of my mouth before my brain checks them, “There are no hams!” Yeah. I don’t think that made sense. What the hell was I dreaming about? I blink again and try to yank my wrist away, but Sean doesn’t let go.
“Hams?” He laughs, and then sits on the side of the bed. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to take your hams, Miss Smith. However, after viewing this little treat you left for me on the TV, I might be interested in sampling some of your other goods.”
“Psh!” I throw a punch with my other hand and he grabs that one too. Sleepily, I blink at him and yawn, “I shoulda thought this through.” Sean has both my wrists and looks like he plans on devouring me. We never ate dinner. I’m allowed to dream of pork and bacon. Bacon would be good. “I don’t think you want to mess with a sleepy girl and her hams.”
“What the hell were you dreaming about?”
“Like it matters? I’m never going to hear the end of this, and every time I eat ham, I’m going to be aroused because of that stupid video.”
Sean laughs so hard that I feel like the funniest person alive. Score. I’m amusing. It isn’t until he tugs my wrists to his chest and leans in close to my ear that I notice a spattering of something on his shirt. Since this is Sean, I doubt that it’s ketchup. Why does he have blood on his shirt? Did he get into a fight? What the hell was he doing?
Sean’s voice has that husky tone that makes me crazy. “I loved that video. I wish you made it for me.”
“I did. Sorta.”
Sean lingers close to my lips and releases a slow breath. It makes me close my eyes. Every ounce of me wants to lean into him and let Sean do anything he wants, but this has to stop. When his lips touch the side of my face I nearly jump out of my skin. Sucking in a sharp breath, I try to pull away, but he doesn’t let me. Sean’s mouth drifts to my neck, one hot kiss at a time, and my resolve starts to soften. When did I become so easy?
“Sean…” I manage to say his name, but it sounds too breathy, like I want him to keep going. So I try again. “Wait.”
His grip on my wrists loosens as his face tips up from my neck. “Using the TV like that was cheating. I can hardly control myself around you, Avery. Do you know how hard it is to look at you and not touch you? When you laid on the grass today, it took every ounce of restraint to keep from taking you right there.” My face burns at the thought. I can’t help it. Sex in public places makes me bashful. Sean smashes his eyes closed before looking at me again. “Oh God, don’t do that. You’re killing me. How am I supposed to be around you and not have you? I’m so hard it hurts, Avery. I need you.”
He presses me back into the bed and I feel how badly he wants me through his jeans. Sean presses his hands between my thighs, pushing my legs apart, and lays in between, rocking his hard body against mine. Since Mel drove off with all my clothes, I’m only wearing panties and a tee shirt, so there’s very little keeping us apart. Deep inside, my body reacts to him and pulsates. The heat between my legs demands his presence. I want him on me, in me, and the slow grinding is making me lose my mind. The video was such a mistake. I would have been able to tell him no easily before, but now I’m half asleep and very aroused. Plus, it’s Sean. His scent fills my head as he rocks against me and holds my wrists to the bed. How’d I end up on the bottom?