“Let’s get this over with,” I say quietly to myself. Then I’m in front of her door, palms sweating. I lift my hand and knock. My fist makes a loud whamp-whamp noise that echoes down the long hallway. The smell of fresh paint and newly laid carpet fills my nose as I glance behind me to see if any of the other doors will open. I hear a latch click and then the door swings wide. I’ve caught her by surprise. Hannah stands in the doorway with her mouth slightly ajar, a dish towel hanging limply from her hand.
“I need to talk to you,” I say before she can say anything. “It’s very important...” When she doesn’t look convinced, I add, “It’s about Seth.”
Her lips press together and her forehead creases as she considers me. Her pretty face is twisted in worry as she glances into the apartment behind her and for the first time it hits me how young Hannah is. She’s just a baby, I think. The same age as I was when I started nursing school. I’d fallen for Seth then, too, trusted him wholeheartedly. What would I have done if Regina had shown up at my home saying the same thing? It takes her a minute to decide what to do. I force myself not to look at her belly, to keep my eyes locked on her face. I don’t want to know, do I? What if I’m too late? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
She turns into the apartment, leaving the door open. I take that as my cue that I’m being permitted entry. Hannah walks over to the living room where the couch I’d seen in her former house sits. She crosses her arms over her chest as she stares at me. She looks uncomfortable. I close the door gently behind me and take a few steps toward her. There are boxes stacked against walls, unpacked and unmarked. She moved in a hurry. Through the bedroom door I can see an unmade bed, sheets heaped into a pile. I look for Seth, as is my habit: a pair of shoes, or the water glass he always sets on the bedside table. But I don’t know his habits here, with Hannah, and for all I know, they could be very different from the ones I am familiar with. I move closer to her and she looks up, startled.
“How are you feeling?” I ask gently.
Her hand automatically moves to cup her belly. I remember that gesture so well, always conscious of the life your body was nurturing. Something loosens in my chest: relief. She’s still pregnant.
“You told me he hit you, Hannah,” I say. “Was that true?”
“No, you told me he hit me, Thursday,” she says. “I tried to tell you it wasn’t true and you wouldn’t hear me.”
“That’s not true,” I say. “I saw the bruises...”
Hannah looks stricken. She glances around the room like she’s looking for an escape.
“He was angry that I found you and that I came to see you,” I say. “When I got home after the last time you and I saw each other, I confronted him about you.”
Her eyes go wide but her lips stay stubbornly closed, like she’s afraid to say a word about it.
“We fought, it turned physical and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital.”
Hannah shakes her head like she can’t believe it.
“You know something is wrong with him. How he was raised...the way he’s asked us to live...”
“Asked us to live?” she asks. “What are you talking about?”
There is the sound of a key in a lock and the front door swings open. My throat closes up and suddenly I feel like I can barely breathe in this tiny apartment. I claw at my neck. I don’t know what I’m hoping to find there, a necklace, perhaps, something to hold on to and distract myself.
Seth walks through the door, plastic bags hooked on all his fingers. At first he doesn’t see me. He walks toward Hannah, a relaxed smile on his face, and leans down to kiss her.
“I got the canned type of pears you like,” he says, and then he stops abruptly when he sees the expression on her face. “What is it, Han?”
Her head swivels in my direction and Seth follows her gaze to where I’m standing. The look on his face is incredulous, like he can’t believe I found them here. He sets the bags down and a can of pears rolls out and across the floor.
Hannah’s pixie face is ashen, her lips a floury white as she stares between us.
“I’m here for Hannah,” I say. “To warn her about you.”
THIRTY-FIVE
Seth marches over to where I’m standing and grabs me by the arm before I can move away. The surprise he wore on his face just a moment ago is gone, replaced by something else. I’m afraid to look too carefully, so I keep my eyes on Hannah as he steers me toward the couch. He shoves me down and my knees buckle as I fall into the love seat. It’s soft, the cushions wide and plush, and I sink into them. And then I’m struggling to straighten up, feeling clumsy and stupid. I grapple awkwardly with my body until I’m perched on the edge, pressing my knees together, ready to spring to my feet again. Hannah won’t look at me. Her eyes are downcast as she stands near Seth. I wonder what he’s told her, who she thinks I am.
“How did you find us?” he asks.
I clamp my mouth shut. I’m not about to tell him that Regina helped me.
“Thursday,” Seth says, taking a step toward me.
I flinch back and I immediately feel ashamed. Surely he wouldn’t do anything to me in front of his Hannah.
“I’m calling the police,” he says, pulling his phone from his pocket. “You’re stalking us. You’re a danger to yourself and Hannah.”
My mouth opens and closes in protest, but I’m too shocked to really say anything. Stalking? How could he act like I’m the danger to Hannah when he’s the one who’s been hitting her?
“You’ve gone too far,” he continues. “It’s over, it’s been over for a while.” He places an arm around Hannah’s shoulders. Am I imagining that she’s stiffened? “I’ve told Hannah everything. She knows about us.”
Knows about us? Knows what? A pain shoots through my forehead and I narrow my eyes, blinking against it.
I don’t look at Seth, I pretend he’s not there; I look at Hannah, only her, the young girl whose life he’s going to ruin. She looks tiny, so much younger than Seth; his arm around her almost seems paternal.
“Hannah,” I say gently. “What has Seth told you about me?”
Her head snaps up as she meets my gaze, and Seth’s shoulders go rigid. She glances at Seth, whose eyes are boring into me.
“I told her the truth,” he says. “It’s over, Thursday.”
“I didn’t ask you, I asked Hannah.” I look over at her. “When I went to the house, you pretended not to know me...”