If only it were that simple.
My mind reels and my breath grows shorter.
It would be so easy to give in and lose myself in him.
Use him to escape from everything I’m scared of.
But I can’t.
My throat feels like sandpaper as I give him my response. “I need to go home.”
Chapter 37
Bianca
Incessant knocking on my door has me bolting up in bed.
I glance over at my alarm clock and curse.
Anyone who knows me, knows how much I value sleep, therefore waking me up at the asscrack of dawn is a sure-fire way to get under my skin.
Grumbling, I stomp to the door and swing it open. “What the fuck do—”
The rest of my sentence falls by the wayside when I see Stone standing there…looking like someone killed his puppy.
“Hi.”
He shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Can we talk?”
I’d honestly rather have a root canal, but I know we have to do this.
Stepping aside, I gesture for him to come in. “Do you want some water—”
His kiss takes me by surprise and for a moment my brain temporarily fritzes out.
I gently push him away. “Stone—”
“No,” he says. “Just let me get this out before I lose my nerve.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I love you, Bianca. And I hate how things have been between us lately.” He gets down on one knee. “But I’ll do anything, and I mean anything to fix this…fix us.”
Oh, boy.
I appreciate that he’s finally acknowledging there’s been something off with our relationship, but I’m not ready to walk down the aisle.
“I’m not ready to get married,” I confess. “I should have told you earlier, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Or admit that I made a mistake by saying yes in the first place.
Especially after I fought my family tooth and nail to be with him.
“Let’s postpone the wedding then,” he says. “We can wait until you’re ready and work on our relationship in the meantime. Get things back on track.”
There’s a weird twinge in my chest.
He might be offering to put me in a bigger cage now that the wedding is off the table…
But it’s still a cage.
I give him complete honesty because it’s what he deserves. “Stone, I can’t even remember parts of my life. Everything is so confusing and—”
“I know it is.” He thumps his chest. “Because I was there, remember? I was the one who was there when you were trying to put yourself back together. I was the one helping you pick up the pieces of your life.” His eyes narrow. “Not him.”
I can’t deny that.
Not only was Stone there for me every step of the way, he took me under his wing and made me feel safe and protected…something I needed after the accident.
But I’m not so sure he’s what I need now.
I also have to make one thing abundantly clear to him.
“This has nothing to do with Oakley.” Heart full of lead, I take off my engagement ring. “I’m sorry—”
“No,” he chokes out. “Don’t give up on us.” Burying his head against my stomach, he peers up at me with teary eyes. “Give me another chance. We don’t have to get married right now, but don’t end this, Bourne. I need you.”
My own tears threaten to break free as he continues.
“I’d fucking die for you, Bianca. Rip my beating heart out of my chest and hand it to you on a silver platter if that’s what you wanted.” He pushes my ring back on my finger. “Don’t give up on me. Please. Not yet. Not until I prove why it should be us…why it’s always been us.”
Oh, God.
His words. The sheer desperation in his eyes.
The fact that I still care about him deeply…despite all our issues.
The nagging feeling in my gut telling me not to end things between us without at least trying to work it out first.
“Okay,” I whisper.
I find Oakley cleaning an empty classroom after my psych class lets out.
“Hey.”
His lips curve into a smirk when he sees me. Almost like he was expecting me to come find him.
“Hey, you.”
“So,” I begin, walking over to him. “I was thinking we could catch a movie tonight. You know, venture outside of my dorm room for once.”
“Tired of keeping me your dirty little secret, huh?” he teases.
He’s not exactly wrong, but he knows I have my reasons for it. “Very funny.”
His blue eyes roam over me like lava. “We can catch a movie.” White teeth sink into his bottom lip, almost like he’s thinking. “As long as it’s not a chick flick.”
Rolling my eyes, I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “Fine. No chick flicks. We can see the new action—”
Words die in my throat when his blue eyes narrow on something and his expression shuts down.
I blink. “What’s wrong?”
His jaw hardens and he goes back to sweeping. “You’re still wearing his ring.”
I suddenly feel exposed, like I’m standing stark naked in a room full of people.
It’s a struggle to find my voice. “Yeah, I…Stone came by my dorm this morning and we kind of worked things out. I mean, the wedding is postponed, but…”
I let my sentence trail off because I’m babbling like an idiot.
Oakley clutches the handle of the broom so tight his knuckles turn white. “Good for you.”
It’s clear he doesn’t actually mean the sentiment.
Suddenly, he walks past me like I’m nothing more than a piece of furniture.
His anger is so palpable…so intense…I can taste it.
“Oakley.”
He pauses. “On second thought, tonight doesn’t work for me.”
With that, he stalks off.
Taking pieces of my heart with him.
Chapter 38
Oakley
I shouldn’t be mad at her.
I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to be friends.
But goddamn it, I’m fucking furious.
Even if she doesn’t find her way back to me, no way in fuck should she be with him.
The douchebag is all wrong for her.
Anyone who’s paying close attention can tell she’s not nearly as happy as she’s pretending to be with him.
“You can take your lunch break now if you want,” my boss informs me as I place the mop and bucket back into the closet. “You look like you need one.”
I don’t say a word as I slam the closet door and start trekking across campus.
Resentment mixed with pain simmers in my gut as I head toward the lake.
My head tells me to walk away from the bullshit…
But my heart tells me to fight for her.
Because she’s worth it.
Because I love her.
Because she went down fighting for us.
“You better stay the hell away from her,” someone snarls.
When I look up, I realize I’m face to face with the biggest scumbag on the planet.