Samson’s jaw is hard as he stares back at me. Several beats of silence pass between us. He almost looks guilty, but then he glances away from me, giving his attention to the flames. “I’m sorry I said it wasn’t much different. That was a shallow thing to say.”
“You aren’t shallow,” I say quietly. “Shallow people don’t stare at the ocean as deeply as you do.”
Samson’s focus returns to mine as soon as I say that. His eyes have changed a little—narrowed. Darkened. He runs a hand down his face and mutters, “Fuck.”
I don’t know why he says that, but it sends goose bumps down my arms. It feels like it might have been a realization about me somehow.
I can’t ask him about it because I spot the girl and guy walking out of the water toward us. Cadence and Beau.
When they get closer, I realize she’s the girl Samson was kissing in his kitchen earlier. She’s eyeing me as she makes her way over. The closer she gets, the prettier she gets. She doesn’t sit in a chair; she sits right down on Samson’s lap. She stares at me like she’s expecting me to have a reaction to the fact that she’s now using Samson as her personal chair, but I’m good at hiding what I’m feeling.
Why am I even feeling anything at all?
“Who are you?” Cadence asks me.
“Beyah. I’m Sara’s stepsister.”
I can tell by the way her eyes scroll over me that she’s definitely a locker room girl. She wraps an arm around Samson like she’s staking a claim. Samson just looks bored, or lost in thought. Beau, who was just in the water with Cadence, sits down next to me after grabbing a beer.
His gaze starts at my feet and slowly slides up my body until he’s finally looking me in the eye. “I’m Beau,” he says with an ambitious grin, reaching out a hand.
I shake it, but when I do, Sara reappears with Marcos from their swim. She groans when she sees Beau giving me attention. “Beyah is engaged to be married,” Sara says. “Don’t waste your time.”
Beau looks down at my hand. “I don’t see a ring.”
“That’s because the diamond is so big, it’s too heavy for her to wear all day,” she retorts.
Beau leans in toward me, staring at me with a smirk. “She’s lying because she hates me.”
“I can see that.”
“Where are you from?”
“Kentucky.”
“How long are you here for?”
“The summer, probably.”
He grins. “Nice. Me too. If you ever get bored, I live over—” He lifts a hand to point toward wherever his house is, but he stops speaking because Sara is now standing in front of us.
She grabs my hand. “Come on, Beyah. Let’s go home.”
I’m relieved. I didn’t want to be here to begin with.
I stand up and Beau rolls his eyes, throwing up a defeated hand. “You’re always ruining my fun, Sara.”
Sara leans down and gives Marcos a kiss goodbye. I glance over in Samson’s direction. All I can seem to focus on is the hand he has pressed against Cadence’s thigh. I start to turn to walk with Sara, but right before I do, Samson makes eye contact with me. He stares so hard, I feel it pinching my chest. I look away and don’t look back as I follow Sara.
“What’s up with Beau?” I ask as we walk back toward the house.
“He’s inappropriate in every way imaginable. Please don’t give him any attention, it’s the last thing he deserves.”
It’s hard to give anyone else attention when Samson is in my presence.
Sara and I walk past the dunes and everything in me wants to give one last glance back toward him, but I don’t.
“What about the girl? Cadence?”
“Don’t worry,” Sara says. “She’ll be gone tomorrow and Samson will be free.”
I laugh. “I’m not waiting in that line.”
“Probably for the best,” Sara says when we reach her house. “Samson’s leaving for the Air Force Academy at the end of the summer. As much as I was hoping I could set the two of you up, it would also suck if you fell for him right before he gets shipped away.”
I pause on the stairs when she says that, but she doesn’t notice because she’s in front of me. But that takes me by surprise. He didn’t mention what he was doing after his gap year was over. I don’t know why, but I didn’t expect it to be the military.
When we get inside the house, all the lights are out. “Want to stay up and watch a movie?”
“I’m exhausted. Maybe tomorrow night?”
She sits down on the sofa and grabs the remote. She leans her head back into the couch and looks at me upside down. “I’m glad you’re here, Beyah.” She powers on the TV and her attention is no longer on me, but her words make me smile.
I believe her when she says she’s glad I’m here. That feels good. It’s not often I feel like my presence is appreciated. Or even noticed.
When I get up to my room, I close and lock the door.
I walk over to the balcony doors and open them, wanting to listen to the sound of the ocean tonight while I sleep. But I also want to see what Samson is doing.
Marcos and Beau are still down at the fire. Cadence is walking away from the group in the opposite direction of Samson’s house.
Samson is walking over the dune crossing, heading toward his house. Alone.
Why does that make me happy?
I don’t want him to notice me up here, so I walk back into my room and close the balcony doors.
Before I crawl into bed, I take Mother Teresa out of the plastic sack she traveled in and prop the painting up on the dresser. It looks so out of place in this fancy room, but that makes me even happier that I brought it with me. I need a piece of home to remind me that this room and this house and this town are not my reality.
NINE
What the hell is that sound?
I put my hand over my ear, confused by the noise that’s forcing me out of a perfectly deep sleep. It’s coming from across the room. I open my eyes and lift my head off the pillow, and the sound gets louder. I glance outside and there’s barely any light. The horizon is gray, like the world is still preparing to wake up.
I groan and toss the covers aside so I can locate the source of all the noise. It sounds like it’s coming from the dresser, so I shuffle over to it.
It’s my new phone. I wipe sleep from my eyes so I can read the screen. It’s only 5:59 a.m.
An alarm is set on my phone. It says: Go watch the sunrise.
That’s all the alert says.
I cancel the alarm and the room falls silent again. I glance behind me, toward the balcony.
Samson.
It better be worth it.
I grab the comforter off my bed and wrap myself in it. I go out onto the balcony and look at Samson’s balcony. It’s empty.
I sit down in one of the chairs and pull the covers up to my chin. I stare out over the dark horizon. To the east, there’s just the smallest sliver of sun peeking out over the ocean. To the north, the skies are dark and occasionally burst with lightning. It looks like a storm is rolling in, threatening to snuff out the light.
I sit on my balcony and stare at the sun as it slowly illuminates the peninsula. I listen to the sound of the waves as they wash onto the beach. Thunder rolls in the distance while seagulls begin to chirp nearby.