She stood there, waiting for some sign that Wade understood. Instead, he turned away, feigning interest in the wall stenciling. “So . . . when’s the big day?”
“I don’t have an exact date. I had to hire an adoption lawyer to draw up the papers. It’s a little more complicated than setting up a trust, but they should be ready soon. And it took some doing, but I finally convinced Rhetta to move to an assisted-living facility Missy recommended here in town. I told her the only way I’d agree to take Iris was if she came too. I hated to resort to blackmail, but I really want her out of Riddlesville. She’s getting to the point where she’ll need looking after, and at Pine Brook, she’ll have nursing care and still be able to see Iris whenever she wants.”
“No trouble from Ray?”
“None. It seems the good reverend has lost interest in his niece.”
Wade smiled drily. “Surprise. Surprise.”
“I have you to thank for that,” she said softly. “You knew he was going to be trouble.”
“Journalistic instincts,” he said, running a hand over the freshly painted bookshelf near the window. “This is nice. Did you do it?”
Christy-Lynn nodded, beaming just a little. “My first attempt at furniture refinishing. Picking the books was fun too. I loved books when I was a kid. I hope Iris will too.”
Wade reshelved a copy of Green Eggs and Ham and forced a smile. “Well, it looks like it’s all going to work out. I’m happy for you. And for Iris.”
She panicked as he turned to go. He was still so angry, and he had every right to be, but she couldn’t just let him walk out. “I was wondering . . .” The words seemed to stick in her throat. “I was hoping you’d come with me when I go pick up Iris.”
He was scowling when he turned back. “I thought you said Ray had lost interest.”
“It isn’t Ray. It’s . . .” She felt him stiffen when she touched his arm but held on until he had no choice but to look at her. “I don’t want to do this alone, Wade. I know what I said before, about being better off on my own, but I was wrong. I want you in my life.”
Wade’s face went coolly and carefully blank. “I’m not interested in being your wingman anymore, Christy-Lynn. I tried that, and it didn’t end well.”
She dropped her hand from his arm and moved to the window, peering out through the crisp eyelet curtains she had hung last night. She’d been rehearsing this moment for weeks, not sure she’d ever get a chance to say what was in her heart, and now that the moment had finally come, she found herself tongue-tied, on the brink of losing the man who, against all odds, had found his way into her heart. Why couldn’t she just say it? I want you . . . I love you . . .
Wade was still in the doorway, still waiting for some kind of response, though the chill in his gaze told her he wasn’t going to wait much longer. She needed to say something, anything, because if she didn’t, she would never get another chance.
“Do you remember when we talked about what Missy said—about our nevers being the doors we keep closed?”
Wade shrugged, the barest of acknowledgments. He was going to make her work for this, and she supposed after everything that was only fair.
“Anyway, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I realized she was right. Being a mother was one of my nevers because I was afraid I’d get it wrong. But that isn’t the only door I’ve been keeping shut. There were others, like letting myself love someone—and letting myself be loved. And then you came along, and I was so scared that I did get it wrong. But I don’t want to get it wrong anymore. I want to figure out how to get it right—with you.”
He was standing with his arms crossed now, his face still carefully blank. “So that’s it? Just like that, you’re ready to turn over a new leaf?”
Christy-Lynn took a step forward, then checked herself. “It isn’t just like that, Wade. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. You made me think about it. And I know now that it’s what I want, that you’re what I want.” His face became a blur as her eyes filled. She blinked away the tears. “I can’t . . . lose you.”
There wasn’t a chink in Wade’s frosty facade. “You’ll forgive me for being skeptical.”
She wiped at her eyes again. “Please. I know I hurt you, and you have every right to be skeptical. But you have to know it wasn’t on purpose.”
“I do know that. I also know it won’t be on purpose next time. And there will be a next time, if I let myself believe you.”
“You’re wrong,” Christy-Lynn shot back, closing the distance between them in two quick strides. “Yes, I ran. Because it’s what I’ve always done. But it was because you were trying to make me see things I didn’t want to see.” She dropped her eyes to the floor, her throat thick with a fresh rush of tears. “I just didn’t see them until it was too late.”
She was startled when she felt his fingers under her chin, tilting her head back until she was forced to meet his gaze. “It doesn’t have to be too late, Christy-Lynn. Not if you really mean what you’re saying. I told you once that I’d wait, but I have to know—for sure this time. Do you want this? Do you want . . . us?”
Christy-Lynn dipped her head, afraid to trust her voice. “Yes,” she whispered. “I do. But I warned you once—I might not be worth the wait.”