What a terrible tragedy.
He’s never going to amount to anything.
My hands tighten around my foil, and I shake myself and tune back in to the conversation I’m missing. Focus. Save your randoms for later.
“…his size will put you at a severe disadvantage,” Chaz is saying to her.
“That’s what I keep telling him, but it fits better than you’d think,” she replies.
Nah, oh nah. She did not just…
Her amber eyes glint at me. She did. I put my fist up to hold back a laugh.
Chaz stares at her without comprehending.
I clear my throat. “I’m sure she’ll hold her own against me. Don’t let this body of mine fool you, sir. I’m a pushover.”
He sighs and walks away with an if you say so look on his face.
“Where did you go just now, while he was talking?” she asks.
“Random thoughts.” I shake my flimsy sword. “So why are you taking fencing?”
She moves into the beginning stance Chaz demonstrated for us. “I figured it would be a good skill to have when the zombies finally rise up and try to kill us all.”
“I spent a summer cutting down trees on my uncle’s farm with a chainsaw for the same reason. To be honest, I don’t think that would be my weapon of choice on that fateful day. Too heavy.”
Chaz holds up his sword in the center of the room. “The foils we’ll be using today are very flimsy, but after you learn the basics, we will move on to something stiffer.”
Stiffer?
I glance at Charisma, but her face is carefully blank.
“First we will work on proper positioning to line up your partner for a firm thrust.” Chaz does a little move with his feet, looking amazingly light as he jumps around. “Like so. If you are positioned properly, you can easily thrust in, out, in, out, and not run out of energy. Stamina is very important.”
“Do you think he hears himself, or is he completely oblivious to the sexual innuendoes?” I’ve walked closer to her and whisper in her ear.
“He has to know.” A blush rises on her cheeks, and I’m fascinated by it. Is she thinking about us? About me inside her?
“Maybe. Some people are oblivious even when shit is right in front of them.”
Her eyes study me. “Sometimes obliviousness is a defense mechanism.”
“Sometimes you need to remember that not everyone has ulterior motives.” I pause and step back. She smells too fucking good, and I’m saying things I shouldn’t be. “What is your parents’ relationship like?”
Her mouth opens. “You’re doing twenty questions in the middle of class?”
“Trust me, my ADHD lets me do a hundred things at once. Sometimes it’s a curse, but I’ve learned to roll with it.”
She purses her lips. “Pop, like you, has enough charm to get in my sixth grade teacher’s panties, but Ma still loves him. I suspect he’s cheated more than once.” She pauses. “I won’t ever be that girl.”
Whoa. I didn’t expect that, and I read her face, seeing the way her forehead furrows.
Like you? What the hell?
“Don’t get me wrong—I adore him. He’s my dad, but Ma…that kind of love is either stupid or so committed and deep that I’ll never be able to understand it.”
“Huh. Any high school boyfriends you left behind?” I know for a fact she’s never had a serious boyfriend at Waylon. I asked Ryker, who asked Penelope.
Her face hardens. “I thought I was in love with this guy once, but…”
“What?”
She lifts a shoulder. “It doesn’t matter. He taught me a good lesson.”
I frown. “Which was?”
She gives me a long look, her face unsmiling, eyes crinkling as if she’s thinking hard about what to say, as if she’s reliving something…
“What the fuck did he do to you?” My voice has risen, and a few students look over at us.
“He asked me to prom on a dare. Once he got the money for doing it, he left me and hung out with the girl he really wanted to take.”
I’m full-on frowning. “Why would he do that, Charm?”
She stills, blinking rapidly. “I didn’t hit my growth spurt for height until the summer before college. In school, I was even shorter than I am now, with no waist, you know, like…like a blob walking down the hall.” She stares at the floor and then looks back up at me. “Chubby Charm. That’s what he called me.”
A muscle in my face pops. “What’s his name? Where does he live?”
“You going to defend my honor?”
“Hell yeah—with my fist in his face,” I growl.
“I’m over it. Look at me now—city girl.” She attempts a smile.
“Are you really over it?” I had names thrown at me from my parents, and I still stew on them. Piece of shit sticks out the most.
“Most of the time. I’m tougher now, older, and I know kids say mean things, know it usually points back to what’s wrong with them. I came to Waylon and put it behind me.”
Is this and her dad the reason for her rules?
Is it why she’s never let herself have a real boyfriend?
I’m about to ask her when Chaz continues, “And if you are really good, you will find that you can create one final satisfying deep thrust at just the right moment to ensure the total annihilation of your partner.”
Charisma’s face gets pink again and a giggle escapes. “OMG. He is killing me. Make it stop.”
“Please spend the rest of class thrusting at each other to gain experience,” Chaz instructs.
We lock eyes and try to hide our laughter. I take advantage of her distractedness and poke my foil at her shoulder.
“Your turn,” I say as I pull back.
“To poke you?”
“To tell me something.”
“I just told you all kinds of stuff about my pop and some stupid guy! Hardly anyone knows that except Penelope!”
“Tell me something good.” I poke at her and she dodges.
“Fine. I love horror movies, even though blood grosses me out.” She plunges her foil into my chest with proper form.
“Really? You like being scared? Huh.”
She nods. “Being terrified is kinda the point, to be sucked into the mind and body of the lead character to the point where you feel what they feel and hurt when they hurt. What’s your favorite movie?”
“Say Anything with John Cusack.”
“STFU.” She drops her foil to her side, and I take the opportunity to lunge toward her and hit her in the leg.
I grin. “First love really gets to me, and John’s character…man, he went all out when it came to winning the heart of the girl everyone told him he couldn’t have. Dude had balls, and I admire that. Plus, he had a kickass sister and a cute little nephew he taught kickboxing to. I watched a lot of movies growing up.”
“Just a movie buff?”
“Mostly enjoyed seeing families on TV, you know, how they interacted and cared about each other.”
She gives me a stunned look, her mouth parting. “Because your parents died?”
“Yeah.” I’m surprised the admission about my preference of movies came out of my mouth. I never talk or hint about how it was for me growing up. But it’s her. And things feel different since the grocery store.
“Less talk, more work, students!” Chaz says, clapping his hands at us.
We move around each other, each of our foils raised as we continue the poses. She seems distracted, and I am too, thinking about her past and mine and how it’s shaped both of us.
“Put your foils on the rack and dream about the stiff ones we’ll have next time in class,” Chaz announces.
“He’s doing it on purpose! Has to be!” Charisma whispers, and we chuckle then put our swords away, grab our bags, and head out of class.
We stop on the steps. “What’s your next class?” she asks.
“History of Rome. You?”
“I have a break.”
“I’ll see you in psych on Wednesday then.” My eyes search hers; I’m not sure what I’m looking for.
People spill out of the buildings and walk around us, yet we’re unmoving.
She chews on that lip. “I actually took that Rome class last year as an elective and loved it.”
“Great. I could use some help with it. You free soon?”
She stiffens. “Oh, I’m really busy—”
“Come on, help a guy out.” I’m not sure what’s come over me, but she gave me an opening, so I’m jumping in and taking advantage.
Her eyes fly up to mine. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Blaze.”
“It totally is a great idea. You’re smart, and I struggle. I—I usually go over notes the day after classes and before the next one. I mean, I hate to be presumptuous, but are you free to help me around eight tomorrow night?”
She thinks on it for a while, her gaze averted as she looks down at her books.
Shit. What am I doing? She and I…we need to stay away from each other.
“I mean, if you’re busy, it’s cool.“
Her chest rises. “The library? Tomorrow?”
“Hell yeah,” I say, feeling breathless.
She gives me a curt nod. “Okay. No funny stuff though, Blaze. Just studying.”
I smirk. “Course not. Just me and you and a textbook. Friends, right?”
She pauses, her face unsmiling. “Right…friends.”
11