Jace turns around in his seat. “His incisors look normal to me. I say we do it, then bury him in the desert on the way back.”
Oakley smiles arrogantly. “Go ahead. But have fun explaining my disappearance to Dylan.”
Jace contemplates this before he turns back around. “Can’t hurt him. Dylan will go postal.” He checks his watch. “How much longer before we arrive at the venue?”
I swallow hard. I have no fucking idea.
“What venue?”
“The venue where the reception is?”
“Yeah, about that…”
I remember Sawyer talking about the wedding once, but she was wearing a low-cut sweater and my focus was elsewhere.
Jace’s nostrils flare. “You don’t know where the reception is?”
“No.” Fetching my phone from my pocket, I toss it to Oakley. “Here, Wikipedia. Make yourself useful and start calling around.”
“Well, well, well,” Oakley sings. “Look who needs my help now.”
“Fucking hell,” I roar. “Will you stop that?”
It’s a lot harder to shave in a car than I thought.
Especially when Jace keeps hydroplaning all over the goddamn road.
“I can’t stop mother nature, jackass.”
Oakley sighs. “Should have just taken the flig—”
“Would you shut up!” we both scream at the same time.
We are three minutes away from being at the hotel and I am done with Oakley’s I told you so’s.
Everything will be perfect.
I’m gonna storm in there and woo the ever-loving hell out of her.
She’ll be so taken aback by my woo, tears will spring to her eyes and she’ll offer to blow me in the bathroom.
But because I’m a gentleman…I won’t let her.
I’ll tell her she can do it after the reception.
“Where’s my tie?” I growl.
“You didn’t bring one,” Oakley answers. “But don’t worry, I did.”
“Why the hell did you bring a tie?” Jace questions.
“Hot bridesmaid sex.”
Jace looks like he’s trying his hardest not to laugh. “Hot bridesmaid sex with who?”
He shrugs. “Whoever wants the D. I’m not picky.”
That’s when I realize. “You are not crashing the wedding, motherfucker.”
Hell, I don’t even think I’m invited at this point.
“The fuck I’m not.” He looks around the car. “I’ve been trapped in this prison for over thirty hours. I’m getting me some hot southern bridesmaid pussy.”
“Just let him do what he does,” Jace says. “The important thing is that you are going to make it in time to be there for the end of the reception.”
He’s right.
I snatch the tie. “Fine. But don’t do anything to embarrass Sawyer or me. Get your pussy and get out.”
“Deal.”
A moment later, Jace pulls up in front of the hotel. “You go in and get your girl. I’m gonna get us a room for the night, call Dylan, and crash.” He looks at Oakley. “On second thought, make that two rooms.”
My heart hammers in my chest as I make my way inside…with Oakley in tow.
I have no idea what to say when I see her.
Which seems pretty damn important in order to woo. Whatever. I’m sure it will come to me.
“Sawyer said you couldn’t make it,” a deep voice calls out before I walk into the hall.
Fuck.
I stop short. “Hey, Mr. Church.”
“Oh, shit,” Oakley whispers. “I’ll distract him. You make a run for it before he shoots you.”
“He is not going to shoot me,” I snap.
Mr. Church’s eyes narrow into tiny slits. “I might.”
“Well, in that case, can I go inside and apologize to your daughter for being an asshole first?” I look at my watch. “I spent the last thirty-seven and a half hours in a car so I could be here.”
His eyebrows shoot up to the ceiling. “Why?”
“Because there was a hurricane warning and I thought they were going to ground the flights. I knew being here was important to her, and I didn’t want to miss it.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy. “It’s March. There might be a little storm every now and then like today, but no hurricanes.”
“Told you,” Oakley hisses.
He gestures to the hall. “Sawyer’s at table two.”
I hold out my hand. “Thank you.”
Shaking it, he looks at Oakley. “Who’s your friend?”
“Oakley. He’s—”
“Here for the bridesmaids.”
I was going to say mine and Sawyer’s mutual friend, but that’s out the window now.
Mr. Church chuckles. “Well, today’s your lucky day, boy. My daughter Catherine’s in a sorority.”
“Sweet. Is she hot?”
“She’s the bride,” I grit through my teeth.
Mr. Church laughs. “I like you. If you touch my daughters, I’ll kill you…but I like you.” He clears his throat. “What I meant was that a few of the bridesmaids are sorority girls. However, they’re a little older than you are, so you better play your cards right.”
That’s like catnip to Oakley.
Oakley fist pumps the air. “Thank you, Jesus.”
I leave Oakley and Mr. Church to talk about sorority girls and head into the hall.
Sawyer’s not sitting at her table and the purple hue of the room combined with the neon flashing lights on the dance floor makes it hard to find her. However, I do spot Sawyer’s grandfather.
I promptly walk over and shake his hand. “Hey, do you know where Sawyer is? I’ve been looking all over for her.”
He points across the room. “Sure do. She’s over there.”
The second I see her; my heart stops cold. For two reasons.
One—she’s so gorgeous it takes my breath away.
And two—she’s laughing and talking to some guy.
A little too closely for my liking.
“Who is he?”
“Abbott Carney. They’ve known each other since they were in diapers. He helps out at the local church a lot. Real nice kid.”
Chapter 77
Sawyer
“So I said, you should come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long, and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.” Abbott Carney laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard in his life. “Get it? Because hea—”
“Heaven, yes.” I force another laugh. “That is a good one.”
I really hope God is feeling extra merciful right now and takes pity on me, because I don’t know how much more I can take of this.
“I’m gonna go to the bar and get a drink.”
Winking, he points his finger at me like a gun. “Hope it’s a virgin.”
Good Lord, how I wish that fake gun was the real thing right now.
For years I had the biggest crush on this idiot and I honestly have no idea why.