It takes all my will, but I manage a forced blank stare and turn to him.
Nico’s face is drawn up tight, his chest rising and falling in quick spurts as he studies my every move.
“You did what I asked.” My shrug is rigid.
Why the hell did I ask him to make me want it first?
Nico’s head jerks back.
“I wouldn’t worry about having to do that again.”
“Having to do that again,” he drawls slowly.
“He, uh.” I look away. “Caught the entire show, so I’d say we’re good for a while.”
“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” Nico shouts.
“Look, I’m going to Carley’s tonight, we’re going out of town in the morning to visit her grandparents,” I lie, moving for the door. “So I’ll just... see you Monday.”
Or never, that would be awesome.
I go to walk away, but he calls me out.
“You’re lying,” he accuses flatly.
I tense, turning around. “Excuse me?”
“Carley, like the rest of us, has been trying to call you all day. When she couldn’t get ahold of you, she asked me to let you know she was leaving right after the game, going with Krista and Trent to go get his brother from the airport.”
Shit.
He tips his head back slightly. “Why you lying, D? Got plans you don’t wanna share?” He glares.
Oh, fuck him.
“I was trying to be nice,” I shout, taking him off guard, but only the subtle lift of his brows would tell you so. “But, fine, since it seems we’re going all out, how about because I don’t want to see you tonight, or for the rest of the shitty fucking weekend for that matter.”
“Why the fuck not?” He takes a step toward me, and this time unexpected turmoil stares back. “What the hell just happened here, D?”
My anger is kicking higher the longer I stand here, and the hinted hurt in his eyes only confuses and pisses me off more. “I’m not really yours, Nico, so stop acting entitled to things you aren’t. If I don’t want to tell you something, I don’t have to, so go ahead, feel free to lie to me all you want, too, because I don’t really give a shit.”
He eyes me a moment, licking his lips as he nods. “Right. Fake it ‘til you make it, huh, D?”
“Learned from the master, huh, Neek?” I mock him. Moisture fights its way into my eyes, so I end the conversation with, “Awesome acting.”
That felt pretty fucking real to me.
I walk out, afraid I left a part of me behind and unsure of how the hell to get it back.
I thought he kissed me for us.
I thought wrong.
What. The. Fuck.
Awesome acting?
What the hell just happened?
I kissed her, a real fuckin’ kiss, like I’d been waiting to do for a long ass time. Shit, I’ve been fighting against myself since the second she agreed to this stupid ass lie, since I let my hands touch her that night in the hotel hallway.
There’ve been several times when we were alone, so there was no hiding what it would be like, when I was sure she wanted it, wanted me, but I waited. Until I couldn’t anymore.
I knew she’d like it, knew she’d respond to my every move with one of her own.
I fuckin’ knew we’d fit.
She pushed back harder than I did. Sought out what she needed more than I allowed myself to. Then boom, a bucket of fucking ice dropped, and she flipped her switch, walked out like nothing happened.
She’s not mine, she said.
Ain’t that some bullshit?
I have no fucking clue what she’s truly been thinking the last few weeks. All I know is what’s going on in my damn head, and it’s not easy to admit when I can’t positively say she’s not on the same page. Still...
When I think of her, I want more.
When I touch her, I hate to stop.
When I look at her, I see mine.
I need her to feel the same.
A half hour passes before my phone rings and I finally find myself walking out of the studio and toward the parking lot.
I answer Trent’s call.
“Your truck’s still here. Where you at?” he asks, right as I step through the double doors.
“I’m coming,” I tell him, hanging up.
His eyes travel over all the exit points of the school until they land on me, and he leans back against my hood.
“What up, man?” he asks when I make it to him. “Where’d you go?”
I scoff, shaking my head and nodding at the cab. I hit the unlock button, and he follows my lead, climbing in the passenger seat while I slide into the driver’s.
“Thought you were going to get your brother?” I ask him, leaning back.
He shrugs, looking away.
I turn toward him. “She called them, didn’t she?”
He hesitates a moment before looking my way. “She didn’t have to. Dem walked out when we were getting in the car. Girls got one look at her and off they went.”
I nod, then put the truck in drive. “Lock up, we’ll go get him.”
“You sure?” He eyes me. “I can go by myself, call you later?”
“Yeah, bro. I could use the drive. He’ll have to sit bitch, but...” I trail, and we both laugh lightly.
He pushes the button on his keys and off we go.
“So what’s going on, Nic? Why was she cryin’?” he asks once we’re on the highway.
She was cryin’?
“Fuck if I know.” My grip tightens on the wheel. “She flipped out. She...” I cut a quick glance his way, and he tilts his head expectantly.
Fuck it.
I break down all the bullshit that happened with Miranda, the switch of partners, and how her and Alex showed up together that next morning, catching us in a fucked up looking position.
“Damn,” he draws out, looking away. “So you really didn’t touch her this time, Miranda?”
My glare snaps to his a moment before I focus on the road.
“Are you for real?”
“What? Don’t act surprised. I’m the one person aware this shit between you and Dem is fake, remember? I had to ask.” He lifts his hands. “Keep going.”
I flip him off and he chuckles.
“Every time we’ve kissed it’s been when others are around, played off as all part of the deal, you know? But man, I know that’s bullshit.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean what I’ve been telling you – I can fucking read her, bro. She’s wanted me to kiss her, touch her, something, several times, and not so people would see. It hasn’t been easy, but I held myself back every fuckin’ time when it was the last thing I wanted to do.”
He thinks on that a second before he says, “You kissed her when you were alone.”
“I fucking kissed her, and I wasn’t subtle or gentle, and she turned to putty in my arms, Trent. She was into it. Fully. Fuckin’ completely.” I know it.
I fuckin’ felt it.
“I’m not really seeing the problem here, Nic.”
“My point exactly. She just froze, and that was it. She talked some shit and took off.”
“Maybe she freaked out. Too much too quick? This was supposed to be fake. Maybe she’s not looking for more?”