I was afraid Talin would be angry with me for not telling him—or at least be skeptical about the trustworthiness of potential hallucinations—but he only stroked my cheek with his thumb. “In these...visions—did he seem angry?”
“No. At least, not to the extent I would imagine he would be if he was coming to kill me.”
“And you think he saw you, too?”
“Yes. I know it doesn’t make sense. I have no idea what he wants from me. But I know that whatever I’ve been experiencing is more than just nightmares.”
Talin took my hand and kissed the back of it. “We’re safe for the moment at least.” He rose and helped me to my feet. “Let’s get some rest and see what the Galethians have to say in the morning. The fact that they helped us cross the border seems like a good sign to me.”
I could only hope he was right as I moved on stiff legs back to the house.
Inside the cottage, Grig had a fire going in the stone hearth, and Zadie was making stew with the ingredients she’d found in the pantry. It wasn’t much, but it would fill our bellies until morning.
“There’s a ewer and pitcher in the bedroom upstairs, Nor,” Zadie said as she stirred. When she looked over her shoulder and saw me, she set the spoon aside and wiped her hands on her tunic. “You’re exhausted, Nor. Why don’t you go wash upstairs? I’ll call you when supper is ready.”
I thanked her and made my way up the narrow staircase, my knees creaking with every step.
The house was small, with only the single upstairs bedroom, but clean and cozy. The men had generously offered to take the downstairs floor to give Zadie and me a night in a real bed. Everything was decorated in shades of blue, from the wooden nightstand to the ewer and pitcher, reminding me oddly of home, despite the fact that we were miles from the ocean. The bed was made up with a soft quilt that had clearly been sewn by loving hands.
I removed my sweat-stained tunic and trousers, eager to wash myself. By the time I was finished, the water in the bowl was brown from all the dirt on my skin. I started at a light knock on the door, but Zadie’s soft voice followed immediately after.
“It’s just me.”
“Come in,” I said, digging in my bag for my last clean shift.
“I thought we might have supper in here.” She was carrying a small tray bearing two bowls and spoons, plus a chunk of crusty bread.
“Thank you. Having a meal by ourselves sounds perfect right now.”
She held out a comb, offering to brush my hair for me, and I gladly let her. It had grown horribly knotted over our week on the road.
“I think this was Landrey’s house,” she said as she worked.
“Why?”
“Just a feeling, and the way Kester spoke of Landrey. This house clearly belonged to someone.” She stroked the quilt tenderly. “Look how much care went into this.”
Selfishly, I wondered again if this meant I would have to give up Titania. “You don’t think something happened to Landrey, do you?”
“Possibly. Why else would we be allowed to stay here?”
I ate my stew and bread while Zadie continued to comb my hair, humming a Varenian lullaby as she worked. Normally, her singing calmed me, but I was still shaken up from our encounter with Ceren. Sharing my concerns with Talin made me feel less alone, but it didn’t change anything. Was Ceren waiting for us at the border, or would he return to New Castle and take out his anger on the Varenians?
“I would love to live in a house like this someday,” Zadie mused, setting the comb aside to braid my hair.
I smiled. “Mother and Father would never live on land, and I’m not sure I like the idea of being surrounded by mountains.”
She chuckled. “I meant with Sami. I don’t think our husbands would appreciate all of us living together. We’d need a larger house at the very least.”
The hair on the back of my neck prickled, but I told myself it was because Zadie’s fingers brushed my nape as she worked the comb through some particularly difficult tangles. “Talin and I aren’t even engaged.”
“Neither are Sami and I. At least not formally. But you will be, someday. And I intend to marry Sami as soon as possible, gods willing.”
That had always been the plan, so it shouldn’t have surprised me. But with everything we’d been through recently, I hadn’t imagined marriage was at the forefront of Zadie’s thoughts. “What about our parents?” I asked.
“We’re going to save them, Nor,” she assured me. “I truly believe that. But I will marry Sami without their blessing, if I have to. I can handle anything with him by my side.”
It took me a moment to find my voice. “Of course.”
“Nor, that’s not what I—”
I set my tray down, finding my appetite had diminished rapidly. “I think I’ll go to bed, if that’s all right.”
She finished my braid and said with forced cheerfulness, “Good idea. We have to be up early.” She rose and went to the door. “Do you need anything else? I’ll come up to bed as soon as the dishes are put away.”
I faked a yawn. “I’m fine. Just tired.”
She started to open the door, then turned back to me. “You do know how much I love you, Nor. Don’t you?”
“Of course,” I said, and I meant it. But I still couldn’t stop myself from thinking that Father was right; Zadie, my wise, practical twin sister, knew exactly who she was and what she wanted.
Part of me wished I were as sure about everything as Zadie was. I wished the idea of marrying and settling down in a cottage like this one sounded appealing. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be loved and accepted by others; if anything, I wanted that more than ever. Why else would I have returned to Varenia, if I hadn’t believed I might finally belong?
But in this house that Zadie found so cozy, I couldn’t fight the feeling that the stone walls were closing in on me, that the roof over my head was a barrier, not protection.
That I may never find a place that truly felt like home.
11
Kester was there at first light, as promised. I had slept like the dead, with not a single nightmare to disturb me, and there was no news of Ceren from the border. But if he wasn’t here, he could be anywhere, and somehow that was almost as terrifying.
We filed back across the valley on our horses. It seemed Galeth, or at least the part we’d seen, was designed entirely for travel by horseback. The valley would have taken well over an hour to cross on foot, and there were hitching posts and mounting blocks next to every cottage.