His smile was strained. “It’s late, and I believe you’ve had a bit too much wine.” He held out his arm for me expectantly.
I nodded and bobbed a quick curtsy to Talin. “Good night.”
He bowed, his hair falling in damp waves that reminded me of the night we’d met. “Good night, my lady. I’m sorry you can’t stay longer.”
So am I. For an instant, I wished he would tell his brother the truth about who I was, so that Ceren couldn’t marry me. But Ceren’s pull on my arm was firm and insistent, and as I walked away, I realized the part of me that wanted to stay was the part I would never be able to listen to again.
16
Ceren’s grip tightened as he pulled me down the hall toward my chambers. “What were you thinking?” he demanded when we reached my door. “Dancing with my brother in front of everyone, before you’ve even danced with me?”
“I’m sorry,” I stammered. “I didn’t know. He told me—”
“I don’t care what he told you. Has all that seawater pickled your brain? Surely you could see the way people were watching you.”
My head was beginning to pound from the wine, and my arm ached from where Ceren’s hand still grasped it. He saw me wincing and released my arm. I took a step backward. I wanted to hurt him the way he’d hurt me, but I needed to imagine I was Zadie now, to behave the way Mother would expect me to. Otherwise I’d get myself killed before I did anything useful.
I bowed my head. “Please, forgive me.”
He released a deep breath through his nose. “I suppose it’s not your fault. Though I did warn you about my brother.”
I nodded. “You did. I understand what you meant now. I’ll be more cautious in the future.”
He took my hands in his. “Are you cold? Your fingers are like ice.”
I blinked at the change in his tone. It was fear, not cold, that so froze my hands, but I didn’t want him to think I was weak. “I left my wrap in the ballroom. I’ll ask Ebb to bring it for me later.”
“Very well. I’ll leave you now. Good night, my lady.”
“Good night.”
I hurried into my room, where Ebb was laying out my nightgown on the bed.
“Are you all right, milady?” she asked when she saw my face. “Did something happen?”
“I did something foolish and paid the price for it. I’ll know better next time.” I took a seat on the stool in front of the vanity, and she began to unpin my hair. As she massaged my scalp, I felt some of my fear begin to drain away. Ceren hadn’t actually done anything to me, and I could imagine it had looked rather bad, me dancing with his brother while he was away.
“Why don’t the princes get along?” I asked. “Did something happen between them?”
Ebb glanced at the small hole in the wall nervously.
I found a handkerchief and stuffed it into the opening. “Better?”
She sighed and waved me back down onto the stool. “From what I’ve heard, Prince Ceren was always a difficult child. His mother, Queen Serena, may she rest in peace, was a beautiful Ilarean lady who King Xyrus had loved from an early age. But Serena was frail and fragile, and Xyrus’s father, King Lazar, urged Xyrus to choose a Varenian bride, despite not marrying one himself.”
King Lazar would have been the king who refused to marry the replacement girl from Varenia—the man who’d cut off our water supply. I raised an eyebrow at her in the mirror. “What became of the Varenian girl sent to marry Lazar?”
She glanced down. “It’s not my place to say.”
My stomach soured. Ceren had said it didn’t go well for queens at New Castle. I couldn’t imagine a rejected princess had fared any better.
“Anyway,” Ebb continued, “King Xyrus defied his parents’ wishes and married Serena, who died while giving birth to Ceren. A year later, he married Queen Talia, who’d been living as a lady in the castle.”
“But why was Talia sent here in the first place, if Xyrus was already in love with Serena?” I asked.
“To tempt Xyrus away from her, I believe. Lazar’s fear—that Serena wouldn’t survive childbirth—had been well-founded. But everything seemed better after King Xyrus married Queen Talia and she gave birth to Prince Talin. Even the king’s health seemed to improve. She was a kind and generous queen, often visiting the poorest villagers and offering them food and blankets.”
“So she was allowed to leave New Castle?” I asked, surprised.
“Of course, milady. The king loved her so much he would have let her go anywhere.”
“And Varenia? Would he have allowed her to go there?”
Ebb shook her head as she dropped the hairpins into a little porcelain dish. “Oh, no. The king is very superstitious about Varenia. All the nobility are. Except Prince Talin.”
That must have been why Talin was the one who traveled to Varenia for Ceren. “Why?”
“Because of Princess Ilara.”
“But that’s ridiculous. She died hundreds of years ago.” I remembered the way Ebb had held her breath over the bridge. “Is that why you’re afraid of water? Because Ilara drowned?”
“I’m not afraid of water,” she said, bristling. “Not small amounts of it, anyway. But large bodies of water are best avoided. Everyone in Ilara knows that. I had a little cousin who died chasing a ball that rolled into a lake.”
“And you think the water spirits took her?”
“Of course, milady. What else?”
Most likely the child had drowned because she didn’t know how to swim. In Varenia, we were literally born in the water. Fearing the ocean would be akin to fearing the air we breathed. But the story of Princess Ilara was deeply enmeshed in Varenian culture, even now. I supposed it was only natural that would be the same here, in Ilara itself.
“Who raised Ceren after his mother died?”
“It was his nursemaids, mostly, though the queen did spend time with him. She wouldn’t let anyone else take care of Talin, though. She was with him all throughout his childhood. I’ve never seen a son more loved by his mother.”
That explained Ceren’s jealousy. He had grown up without a mother, while his brother had Talia. I felt a twinge of sympathy for Ceren. “Thank you for telling me this, Ebb.”
“Of course, milady.” She finished helping me into my nightgown and tied my hair into a loose braid. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”