Confused and a little annoyed, I made my way to Lady Hyacinth’s room. I didn’t have time for knitting. I had to find a way to get into Ceren’s study.
An idea struck me as I walked, and I made a quick detour down another hallway. I hummed quietly to myself, pretending to look distracted as I fished a pin out of my hair. If I couldn’t get the key itself, perhaps I could pick the lock.
I cut through the hall of Varenian portraits and paused before Zadie’s just long enough to say a little prayer for her and Sami. I felt the eyes of every woman as I passed, and I reminded myself that I was doing this for them, and for every young girl in Varenia who would spend her life wondering if she was beautiful enough. The story of Princess Ilara was just a convenient excuse to prop up a dying royal dynasty, and all of our hard work was merely a means to supply one man with pearls that would never cure a corrupt heart.
I was rounding the corner to Ceren’s study when I saw someone emerge from the door. I ducked back, but it was too late.
“Who’s there?” a male voice asked.
I turned to run and nearly screamed when a hand clamped down on my shoulder.
“Zadie?”
I looked up to find Talin’s blue-green eyes peering down at me. “Prince Talin!”
His grip loosened, but his hand remained on my shoulder, and I could feel the warmth of his touch even through my knit shawl. “What are you doing out here alone at this hour?” he asked.
“I’m on my way to meet Lady Hyacinth. For tea.”
“Tea? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
I dropped my gaze, and his hand slid away, leaving a burning trail as it went. “My maid thinks I need to socialize more. I’ve been spending too much time alone.”
“Come now,” he said. “Surely my brother has kept you occupied.”
“Your brother and I had a little fight.” I didn’t expect sympathy from Talin—Ceren was his brother, after all, and I was a girl he hardly knew. But I also didn’t want him to think that Ceren and I were in any way friendly.
“I thought I told you to be careful,” he said, but there was concern in his voice. “What happened?”
“It’s nothing,” I murmured, but my eyes flicked involuntarily to the door of Ceren’s study.
He glanced behind him. “You shouldn’t be here, my lady. Ceren doesn’t appreciate interruptions when he’s working.”
My breath caught. Ceren was in there now? What would have happened if I’d picked the lock with Ceren inside? “Were you helping him?” I asked.
“No, no. Ceren doesn’t like help with his inventions. I only came to tell him that our father wishes to see him. And that I’ll be accompanying him to test the device at one of the Linrose Lakes tomorrow, on the king’s orders. He may be my brother, but he’s also the crown prince.”
“And are you an inventor like your brother?”
“Nothing like Ceren. He’s been tinkering since he was a small boy. He claims this is his greatest invention yet.” He smiled conspiratorially. “Though I must say, my favorite was a tube he filled with mirrors and colored glass. He gave it to me for my tenth birthday because I loved color and light, something we are in short supply of in New Castle.”
I couldn’t help returning his smile. “So there is kindness in your brother after all.”
The smile faded. “Of course, my lady.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean... I should get to Lady Hyacinth’s room. She’ll be expecting me.” I tried to edge around him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, at the lake.”
He frowned and placed his hand on my lower arm. “I know what it’s like to lose the person you love most in the world,” he said suddenly. “I understand what it’s like to be forced from your home. But please, for your own sake, keep your head down.”
His tone and expression were so earnest I didn’t know how to respond. “That’s never really been my strong suit,” I said, then smiled apologetically. “But I’ll try.”
I waited for him to smile back, but instead, he ever so gently circled my wrist with his fingers and brought my hand up to his face, laying my palm against his cheek. After a moment, he turned his head and pressed a kiss to my palm, before bowing and disappearing into the dark.
* * *
For several minutes, I stood with my back against the wall, trying to catch my breath. What was that? What did it mean? I still didn’t know if Talin recognized me, though the idea that he’d have done such a thing if he believed I was Zadie didn’t feel possible. I stared at the door to Ceren’s study, wishing I could just barge in and rip the hose apart, no matter the consequences. But if Ceren killed me now, sabotaging the device would be for nothing. It wouldn’t do my people any good if I couldn’t warn them of Ceren’s plans.
I decided Lady Hyacinth could wait, and instead made my way to Lady Melina’s chambers. If Ceren was in his study, he was busy, and while his spies might report my whereabouts, it was a risk I’d just have to take.
Melina answered the door herself in a long violet robe.
“What are you wearing?” I asked, admiring the garment. It seemed like it had been ages since I’d seen another person wearing anything bright or colorful.
“What the king doesn’t know won’t kill him,” she said, ushering me inside. “What are you doing here?”
“I can’t get into Ceren’s office.”
“No, I imagine you can’t.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “If I can’t get in, I can’t tamper with his device. This was a stupid plan. I don’t know why I ever thought I could be a spy. Sami was right. I spent my entire life trying to be beautiful, not learning anything useful.”
Lady Melina pointed to a couch. “Sit down. I’ll get you something to drink.” She went to a side table and poured amber liquid into a glass. “Here. It burns going down, but it will help. Now tell me what happened.”
It did burn, and I nearly spat out the foul liquid. But as I explained what had taken place with Talin, the tension in my limbs began to release. “I don’t know how to stop Ceren,” I said, easing back onto the pillows. “And I don’t want to marry him.”
She sat down next to me. “Of course you don’t, child. But that’s not why you’re here, is it?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling loose and languid, like I was underwater.
“You didn’t come here just to marry the prince. I remember what I was like when I was chosen, how honored I felt. I would have gladly married King Lazar, arrogant as he was, if he would have had me. I didn’t even mind being his mistress at first. I thought I could change his mind about me, if I just did everything he asked.” She shook her head. “By the time Talia arrived, I had no more illusions about my life here. She was so young and beautiful and just as desirous to please as I had been. I didn’t have the heart to tell her what it was really like here, so I let her find out for herself. Sometimes I regret that choice.”