“She needs rest, but we still have some distance to cover. I suppose you could join me on Xander, get some weight off her.”
“Your brother wouldn’t like that,” I said, hating that even when I was away from him, Ceren shadowed my thoughts.
Talin smirked, reminding me of that first night we met. “What my brother doesn’t know can’t hurt him.”
The last time I had agreed to something against my better judgment—dancing with Talin—I had incurred Ceren’s wrath. But he was right. Ceren wasn’t here. And the thought of being close to Talin again was too tempting to resist.
I glanced back at the guards. “What will we tell them?”
“The truth.” He motioned for Grig to join us. “The mare is sore. Zadie will ride with me for the rest of the afternoon.”
“Yes, Captain.” Grig tied the mare’s reins to his saddle and helped me dismount. When Talin reached down to help me up, I swallowed back my trepidation and took his hand.
“Would you like to sit in front this time?” he asked.
I felt confident on my mare, but Xander was a huge animal with a completely different demeanor. Still, Talin was looking down at me with such confidence that I nodded and let him pull me up.
Once I was seated before him, our torsos touched from seat to shoulders, and I could feel the warmth of him even through his leather armor. As I took up the reins, he wrapped his arms around my waist, and I wondered if I was really as small in his arms as I felt.
“Where are you going, Your Highness?” one of the guards called from behind. “Prince Ceren told us Lady Zadie wasn’t to leave our sight.”
“Then it’s a good thing you aren’t Zadie,” Talin murmured in my ear. My body flushed hot, then cold, at his confirmation that he knew who I was. How long had he known? And was he happy I was Nor, or was he about to punish me in some way?
“We’ll wait for you up ahead,” he shouted to the guards. Then he clicked his tongue and dug his spurs into the stallion’s sides, and we were off. I fell back despite what I thought had been preparation, but Talin’s solid torso was there to support me. Once I got over the initial shock, I managed to sit up straighter and focus on the task at hand.
I felt like I was back in a boat again, riding the rolling waves, and I was so caught up in the sensations—of the horse beneath me, the wind against my face, the pull of the stallion’s head against the reins as he fought to go faster, the solid feel of Talin’s body behind me—that I forgot to be afraid.
“Excellent,” Talin said over my shoulder. “You can give him his head, if you’re ready.”
I nodded and let the reins out a bit through my fingers, and the stallion surged forward again. We were still on the road, but there was something about the sight of the green hills far ahead, the wide blue sky all around us, that gave me the same sense of freedom the horse must be feeling. I loosened my grip on the reins, giving him as much control as I dared, and let him go. Neither of us was free in any real sense, but for a moment, I could almost believe that we were riding away from the dark shadow of the mountain forever.
I imagined Zadie waiting for me, just off the shore, and swimming out to meet her. We wouldn’t need to speak about what had happened in each other’s absence, because the only time that truly mattered was when we were together. It would be as if the time in between had never happened, like a bad dream forgotten when the light of morning warmed our cheeks.
I knew then that I could never spend the rest of my life away from Zadie. Varenia, the ocean, even my parents—I could survive without them. But my sister was as essential to me as the sunlight, as the air. I would find a way back to her someday.
By the time Talin took the reins and slowed the stallion to a walk, I had tears streaming down my cheeks. I wasn’t aware of them until I felt his gloved finger against my skin. I closed my eyes, squeezing out the rest of my tears, and fell back against him, exhausted.
“It’s going to rain,” he said. “We’ll wait it out in the trees.”
He dismounted and led the stallion to a small grove of elms a little way off the road. He smiled up at me as we ducked under the foliage. “It’s a long way down,” he said, reaching up to help me. I slid into his arms, and for just a moment he held me above the ground, as if I was as light as a feather to him, before lowering me gently onto the soles of my feet. The leaves were thick enough that only a few drops made it through the canopy of trees, and I sank down onto the grass below them, sighing with relief.
“You did well,” Talin said, settling back against the trunk of a tree. “I was afraid Xander would tire before you did.”
“I like riding. It reminds me of being on the ocean in some strange way.”
“I can understand that. My trip to Varenia was the first time I’d ever been in a boat. It was nice.”
“And at other times, not so nice. One time Zadie and I—” I caught myself too late. I told myself it didn’t matter, that he already knew the truth, but it was a heavy reminder that I’d never be able to share my memories of Zadie out loud, to anyone. “I’m thirsty,” I said, rising shakily to my feet.
“There’s water in my saddlebag.”
I fumbled around with the straps on his saddle. I was finally alone with Talin, and I was going to have to tell him I’d been lying to him all along. I took a long drink from the water skin and was just tucking it back into the saddlebag when I heard a branch snap behind me.
I whirled around to find Talin watching me.
“What is it?” I asked breathlessly.
“Now that you and I have a moment to ourselves, I think it’s time we had a little talk.”
27
I walked back to the trees, clasping my hands to keep them steady. “How long have you known?” I asked.
“I suspected the first moment I saw you at Old Castle. But I knew for sure the night we danced.”
“How?”
He leaned against the tree next to me. “When you made that comment about Ceren being unpleasant. I know I only met you and Zadie briefly, but from what I gathered that night in Varenia, that didn’t strike me as something Zadie would say.”
I could hear the humor in his voice, but I felt foolish for believing I could pretend to be my sweet sister. “No, I suppose not.”
“I didn’t mean it that way. I’m the one who put you in danger with Ceren that night, dancing with you. I shouldn’t have done it, but I couldn’t fathom why you would be here and not Zadie. And to be honest, I was selfish. I never thought I’d see you again, and then there you were, too tempting to resist.”