I took one last look at the guard to make sure he was truly passed out and darted forward, my feet barely touching the ground as I ran. And then I was past him, in another corridor, and I almost laughed with relief.
“Going somewhere?”
My blood froze in my veins as I turned toward Ceren’s voice. The drunk guard leaning against the wall straightened, and his black and red cloak fell back, revealing the prince’s pale face. He wore a castle guard’s uniform: leather armor beneath a heavy cloak, worn to keep out the chill of the damp halls at night.
“Ceren,” I said, my mouth dry. “What are you doing here?”
“I know you better than you think. I didn’t expect you to willingly remain in this castle knowing what I’m going to do to you. I also know how much you love to visit this portrait gallery, staring at your own picture.”
My heart was like a caged animal clawing at the walls of my chest. I thought fleetingly of lying, saying that I’d needed to stretch my legs, but Ceren was too shrewd, and I was too exhausted. “I can’t stay here anymore. Not like this.”
“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice. Not if you don’t want your family to suffer the consequences. And next time, it won’t be just their water supply that gets cut off.” He stepped toward me, even more imposing in the leather armor. “I know you’re not who you claim to be.”
I clenched my jaw to keep it from trembling. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He closed the space between us and raised a finger to his lips. His tongue darted out as he licked his fingertip. When I balked, he grabbed me with his other hand, pressing the finger against my cheekbone and rubbing in a small circle. He held the stained tip up to my eyes.
“Your governor is a fool, but not so foolish that he would send a damaged girl to me. Not without good reason.”
Not damaged, I thought. Stronger. “It’s not what you think.”
He cocked his head in mock confusion. “So you didn’t come in place of your injured twin sister? Odd, that’s not what my emissary told me when he returned from Varenia.”
He couldn’t mean his brother. Talin would never betray me like that. “What emissary?”
“The one I sent to deliver your bride price, after you told me how difficult things were for your family. Imagine his surprise when he discovered a girl who looked just like you, responding to your name, when he went to your family’s house. Your parents tried to cover for you, but when the emissary offered the bride price to anyone willing to share the truth, it spilled out like fish guts.”
I didn’t blame the others for talking. They were half starved, and they believed I’d brought their misfortune upon them. “What difference does it make to you?” I asked. “My scar won’t prevent me from giving you what you want.”
He grabbed my arms and yanked me to his chest. “I warned you to stay away from my brother.”
I struggled against him. I should have gone for my knife when I’d had the chance. “What does that have to do with anything?”
But even as I asked, I knew. His silver eyes were full of the same pain and shame I’d seen that day at the lake. He didn’t just want an heir to the throne. He wanted me to choose him over Talin, even after everything he’d done to me.
“I’m sorry,” I said, and I was. Not about my feelings for Talin, or for doing everything I could to help my people. But I had never set out to cause him pain. Somewhere inside Ceren was a boy who only wanted to be loved. Unfortunately, the people who had convinced him he was unlovable had also ensured that he would be.
He looked momentarily taken aback. “You know, I believe you truly do mean that,” he said. “But I’m afraid I can’t let you leave. Not after the crimes you’ve committed.”
“Crimes?”
His expression turned sly. “In addition to betraying the crown by posing as your sister, there’s the dead guard.”
“What dead guard?” A wave of guilt flooded through me. Had I accidentally killed the man outside my room with the ewer?
Ceren jerked his head toward the man at the entrance to the gallery. “I slit his throat just minutes before you arrived.”
I knew Ceren was a murderer, but to hear him admit to it so callously made my stomach roil. “So what’s your plan, then? Are you going to have me killed?” I was still so weak from the bleedings, but I bucked against him, desperate to get to my knife.
He chuckled softly. “You’re worth far more to me alive. But now I have a good reason to keep you locked up. I suppose I should thank you for trying to escape, really.” He twisted my arm and whirled me around so that my back was to him, then grabbed my other arm and wrapped something hard and cold around my wrists.
I cried out when he wound his fingers in my braid and yanked my head back, his breath hot against my neck, his smooth cheek pressed to mine. “Nor,” he purred, his tongue curling around the r in the perfect imitation of a Varenian accent. “I always knew you were special. From the moment you defied me in my chambers. Maybe since the moment I felt your heart beating beneath my fingertips.” He brought his right hand up to the center of my chest, as he had the first day I met him. Coming from him, the word special didn’t feel like a compliment.
“I prayed to the gods for a queen who would be the salvation of Ilara by strengthening our bloodlines,” he whispered in my ear. “I never dared to hope you might be my salvation as well.”
31
As the metal door to my cell clanged shut, Ceren’s face appeared briefly between the bars, his skin a sinister green in the foxfire torchlight. “I’ll be back tomorrow for more blood. Try to get some rest before then.”
The dungeons were deep in the mountain, not far from the entrance to the underground lake where the monster, Salandrin, had lived. As he’d dragged me down to my cell, Ceren had explained why the corridors down here were so narrow and cramped. They were part of the original bloodstone mine, before Queen Ebbeela had it flooded to stop the wars. The royal crypt was down another tunnel nearby, and if I breathed too deeply, I swore I could smell the stench of decay wafting into my cell.
One of the two guards on duty had patted me down for weapons, but he’d been too focused on my breasts and hips to check in my boots, which meant I still had the knife. I knew I would only have one chance of escape, so I waited, hoping an opportunity would present itself.
I slept fitfully on the straw covering the floor of the cell. The dungeon appeared to be mostly empty, though I’d heard coughing and moaning coming from a few other cells as Ceren led me to mine.
He came for me hours later in what I assumed was the morning, although there was no natural light here, or even any lunar moss, to confirm my guess. I had hoped he would take me back up to his study to bleed me, but the satchel he carried when he entered my cell made it clear I would be staying in the dungeon.