“That is so great!” I told her. “We should definitely celebrate!”
“So tonight, you, me, and Delia are going to Gilded.” That was a new club that had recently opened downtown.
“I’m in!”
“I’ll text you the time,” she said. “Don’t flake out!”
“I won’t,” I promised, just before hanging up. I turned back around and saw Tyler and one of the lot employees getting the tree snug and tight.
“Looks good and secure. Too bad you didn’t have any part in it,” I teased Tyler.
“Hey, I helped. Sort of. When he said, Cut here, I did. Which means I get to keep my man card.”
It didn’t take us very long to get back home, but when we parked we realized we had no way to get the tree off the car. Tyler took all the bags out of the back of my car and then ran inside to get a knife while I waited with the tree. I knew the likelihood of someone stealing a Christmas tree off the top of a car was pretty minimal, but this was our tree and I didn’t want anything to happen to it.
He returned a couple of minutes later and quickly cut all the thin rope. “I’ll grab the bottom of the trunk, you hold on to the top.”
It was easier than I’d thought it would be maneuvering the tree through the lobby, into the elevator, and up to our apartment. Pigeon came over immediately to investigate, her tail wagging as she sniffed the tree.
“This is not a bathroom tree,” Tyler told her.
“Where do you want it to go?” I asked. He pointed to a spot near the gas fireplace, and I agreed that it was perfect. I put the Christmas tree stand down and Tyler brought the tree over.
“Ready?” he asked. “You make sure it stays in place and I’ll get it in.”
Nodding, I knelt on the floor next to the stand. He lifted the tree up and the trunk wasn’t fitting. I told him, “It’s too big. Do tree stands have sizes?”
“I don’t think so.” With a grunt he picked up the tree and laid it down on the floor. “Oh. Those three bolts? Loosen those and then once the trunk is in, tighten them to lock the trunk in place.”
Boy, did I feel stupid. Just another one of those basic life skills I’d missed out on growing up the way that I had.
The next try was successful and the tree slid into place and I tightened the bolts. “I think that’s it,” I said.
He carefully let go of the tree and I felt like celebrating when it stayed in place.
“We did it!” I exclaimed, standing up to see our tree. “We make a great team.”
“Yeah, we should get T-shirts,” he joked, then he held up a hand to high-five me.
I was being high-fived. I slapped his hand, hoping my disappointment didn’t show. If that action wasn’t putting me solidly in the friend zone, I didn’t know what else would. Other than him making a sign that said, MADISON, I’M NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. Maybe that would be clear enough for me.
“It looks taller than it did on the lot,” he commented. “I hope we got enough ornaments.”
“When did you want to decorate it?” It might be good practice for me before I had to do it at the winter festival.
“I was thinking maybe we could leave it bare until tomorrow to let Pigeon get used to it. And then we could have our own official decorating party where you don’t make Christmas cookies.”
“Ha-ha.” I had the feeling I was going to be hearing about my salt cookies for a long time.
“It’ll be great,” he said, as if he had to sell me on the idea of spending time with him. He did not, but I appreciated the effort. “We’ll put on some Christmas music and then maybe afterward we can watch a movie.”
I didn’t know what kind of movies he liked, but given that we always watched what I wanted, I figured it was his turn to choose. With one exception. “You pick. Only no horror movies. If I wanted to spend an hour and a half feeling anxious and slightly terrified, I’d just have dinner with my mother.”
He laughed and said, “I was thinking a Christmas movie.”
“That sounds . . . really nice. Perfect, actually.” I’d been sad thinking about all the family traditions I was missing out on, and this somehow helped make up for that.
Like Tyler was moving past just being a friend and roommate and settling into a spot that felt more like family.
We spent the rest of the day doing our own things; Tyler went to work out and run some errands while I went over my lesson plans and made more winter festival decorations.
Shay texted me and said to be ready in an hour and a half. Then she added:
I replied with a laughing emoji and found myself excited to be going out with my girls. It had been a long time since the three of us had done something fun, like going dancing. It was also nice to be making actual plans with people. My social life with Brad often had consisted of me waiting around to see if he would call and want to get together.
I had a night out with my friends and a private decorating party with Tyler tomorrow. I was hoping that one of these events would help me understand the other. I wanted Shay and Delia’s input, biased as it might be. But I needed an outside perspective to tell me if I was making stuff up where Tyler was concerned or if things had somehow shifted between us and I was too dense to realize it.
Because I’d recently come to the conclusion that Brad had messed me up not only with trust issues, but also made it impossible for me to read and/or understand men. The only boy I’d ever dated had lied to me constantly, so I didn’t know what real communication looked like. Or signals. Or flirting. I was all screwed up and that’s why Tyler’s words and actions confused me so much. I didn’t know whether I was supposed to be seeing only friendship, or if there might be something more.
I needed my friends to help me figure things out.
It was also fun to get dressed up again. Not because I was trying to please my family or impress Brad or make sure I would fit in wherever I was going. No, I put on a short sparkly black dress, glittery silver eyeshadow, and red lipstick just for me. So that I would feel pretty.
When I finished getting ready, Tyler was back and moving around in the front of the apartment. Shay texted that she was on her way and I decided to go down to the lobby and wait for her so that the Uber wouldn’t have to park.
I was feeling pretty and sparkly and even though I hadn’t dressed up in order to get validation, I was finding myself in want of some. Especially from Tyler.
“You’ll have to tell me if this dress looks okay,” I called out, baiting my hook as I fished for my compliment. Hopefully he’d let me land one.
“The perfect situation for any man to find himself in,” he called back, his voice brimming with humor.
With one final nod I came out into the front room. Tyler was sitting on the couch with one of his spy novels. Pigeon was curled up next to him and he was stroking her fur and I again thought that she was the luckiest dog in the world.
He looked up and saw me and just . . . stared.
Like, awkwardly.
Or maybe I was the only one feeling awkward. But it seemed to last a long time and there was a strange tension in the air that I didn’t know how to explain. Or I was imagining it.
He cleared his throat. “Going out?”