“You’re saying we need more information,” Virgil said.
“Yeah. The best information we have is, Andorra was worth a lot of money, even if it wasn’t visible to most people. You actually have to jump through some hoops to understand it. I mean, how many people driving past some old farmhouse, with a barn out back, a subsistence garden, and a goddamn clothesline, would reckon that the place might be worth four million bucks? I mean, why would you think somebody worth four million bucks would keep riding around backwoods Minnesota on a fuckin’ tractor when he could take the cash and move to Miami and buy a fuckin’ Ferrari?”
Virgil poked his fork at Jenkins. “Here’s another thing. We think Larry Van Den Berg figured out who the killer was. What did he have to go on? Money. Janet Fischer said he knew more about money than anyone in town—who has it, who wants it. Has to be money, one way or another. But, Osborne didn’t have any. So, why was she shot? Maybe she wasn’t the primary target? Did she step in front of someone?”
“Or, maybe the shooter is a random sniper, and is nuts,” Jenkins said. “I mean, they’re out there. Something like this religious apparition thing might be the kind of spark you need to set somebody off.”
“Which is completely backwards from what you were saying. You were saying we have to devote time to finding a motive; now you’re saying that there might not be one.”
“Being nuts is like a motive,” Jenkins said. “Have you thought about asking around town about who might be nuts? If somebody was treated? In a town this size, people would know.”
Virgil thought about that, then shouted, “Skinner!”
Skinner pushed through the curtain, and Virgil asked him if he had somebody to take over the cash register. “For a minute anyway,” Skinner said.
“So, who in town is certifiably nuts?” Virgil asked. “Not a little eccentric, but, you know . . . insane.”
Skinner shook his head. “Nobody I know of. There have been some . . . unsettled people here, but they usually get out. If people start avoiding you in a small town, all you get is silence all day long. So they move to Rochester, or up to the Cities.”
“Can you think of a crazy person who might be carrying a grudge, resenting Wheatfield ever since things started getting better for the town, so they would come back and try to upset the apple cart?” Virgil asked.
“No . . . And if there were, we would have seen him around town,” Skinner said. “Not much way you wouldn’t get seen.”
“Then the whole town is, mentally, above average?” Jenkins asked.
“I didn’t say that. We’ve got some unusual people. Daria McCain is eighty years old now, and when she was in her seventies, she decided she’d spent her whole life as a man when, in fact, she was really a woman in a man’s body. She got people to start calling her Daria—she used to be Darrell—and she wears a dress and everything. Other than that, though, she seems normal enough. Holland appointed her to the fire commission. I can promise you, Daria didn’t go running through any backyards. After the big change of mind, she didn’t bother to stay in shape. She’s really . . . soft and willowy.”
Jenkins said, “Did she . . .” He made a scissors-cutting motion with his fingers.
“No, she never got anything cut off, far as I know.”
“And that would be the . . . oddest . . . of the Wheatfield residents?” Virgil asked.
“We’ve got the usual collection of old men shouting at clouds, but nobody who’s obviously nuts,” Skinner said. “If I had to pick a name, I would have picked Larry Van Den Berg. He always struck me as over-tense, but he got along okay for a long time . . . You know, before . . .”
Jenkins said to Virgil, “Motive.”
“Gotta be money,” Virgil said.
“Didn’t I already say that about a hundred times?” Skinner asked.
Wardell Holland stepped through the curtain. He had a letter in his hand, and he said, “You guys won’t believe this.”
20
As Virgil was driving Shrake through the night to the hospital in Fairmont, the woman who had swastikas tattooed on her earlobes was sitting in Jim Button’s Nazi kitchen with her hair pulled up over the top of her head in two horns, held in place by two fat, blue rubber bands. She said, “Ow! . . . Ow! . . . Ouch! . . . Goddamnit, ow! . . . Hey! . . . Ouch! . . .”
Another woman was working on her with a sewing machine needle and a puddle of black ballpoint pen ink, converting the two tiny swastikas to black squares. The Nazi earlobe woman, Marie York, had been offered a waitress job in an Albert Lea bowling alley. She’d worn big, gold-plated earrings to the job interview to hide the swastikas but knew the truth would come out sooner or later, so she was having them obliterated.
When Button accused her of anti–National Socialist treachery, she’d said, “I’ve got to eat. I’m not giving up this career opportunity.”
When the tattoo lady had shown up, Button retreated to the dining area to sulk: the fact was, the wheels were coming off Minnesota’s National Socialist wagon. Nobody would hire them, and they didn’t have a whole lot of salable skills, other than the ability to lift heavy weights and/or make methamphetamine out of Energizer lithium batteries, Sudafed, and farm fertilizer.
Recently, they couldn’t afford either the batteries or the Sudafed, and when they’d tried to steal anhydrous ammonia from a farmer’s wheeled fertilizer tank, they’d managed to break the handle off the spout, and the ammonia had run down the farmer’s driveway and stunk up the whole neighborhood. Also, they’d damn near gassed themselves to death, suffered some spotty burns on their hands and arms, and, in the end, had only come away with one two-liter Pepsi bottle of the stuff.
At this point, they were living off their individual SNAP cards, which would not allow them to buy either alcohol or tobacco, and which, realistically, could have been a good thing, because if SNAP did allow it, that’s probably all they’d buy. The cards also wouldn’t allow them to buy any hot food or food that could be eaten at the store.
The only thing left was nutritious crap like hamburger and noodles that they had to cook themselves, and if they hadn’t found a convenience store that would take their SNAP card in return for nothing, giving them half back in cash, they’d probably all be kicking the nicotine habit right now.
Button lit up one of his last five Marlboros and put on his thinking cap, and as the tattoo lady was finishing up with Marie, and he finished up a half sack of Cheez-Its, he went back in the kitchen, and said, “I’ve had my thinking cap on.”
The tattoo lady said, “That can’t be good.”
“Listen, that state cop Flowers is still here, and he hasn’t figured out a goddamn thing. There’s three people dead and two more shot. They gotta be desperate. The other thing is, Skinner and Holland were making a fortune in that store until the priest closed the church, right? Am I right about that?”