“I would like to see my betrothed’s suggestion made reality,” the Emperor ordered.
Vhalla remained quiet for the second half of the meeting, once more watching Aldrik work and learning everything she could. She fully expected to be questioned on his methods afterward, and she was proved correct.
On the way back to the government building, Aldrik inquired on his approach and offered her both criticism and praise. There were ample areas for improvement that quickly became apparent, but Aldrik was good to sandwich praise around them. Some were as simple as pointing out that she needed to improve her posture. Others had layers of nuances that Vhalla still didn’t completely understand as they entered the main building.
“And, above all other things,” Aldrik continued, “you must remember that you are their Empress.”
“But how can I relate to them if I am distanced?”
“Practice, to a certain extent. But it’s difficult,” he confessed. “It is more important for them to see you as their sovereign rather than their friend. That they know you are above them.”
Vhalla nodded, deep in thought.
“You are unpleased.” He smiled tiredly.
“You could tell?”
“I don’t need the Bond to see it. I know you well enough.”
Vhalla shook her head. There was a time where she worried that their affections were entirely a product of the Bond. How foolish that seemed now.
“Can I be both? Their leader and their friend?”
“To some, yes.” Aldrik nodded. “But not to the masses.”
“I suppose it’s a good thing I like books more than most people,” Vhalla muttered.
“A superb ruler in the making, indeed.” Aldrik gave her a knowing smile, and Vhalla relaxed further.
CHAPTER 11
Vhalla woke two mornings later with a sickness in her stomach.
Aldrik briefly insisted upon fetching Elecia, but Vhalla refused. There wasn’t a clerical solution to nervousness, and she knew of no salves that cured stress. The medicine she needed was bound between leather and delivered with silence. She’d been avoiding asking because their days were so filled with preparations to leave for Norin in another two mornings’ time. When she finally broached the subject with her husband-to-be, he made her feel silly for even being concerned about leaving him to deal with the responsibilities alone.
The city’s records room was dusty and stagnant. It hadn’t been aired out in quite some time, and she went into a coughing fit with the first heavy scroll she pulled from the shelf. It wasn’t her first choice, but Hastan didn’t boast an impressive library, and she knew she’d be alone here. All she wanted was a quiet space and something to read.
Hastan’s governmental logs weren’t exactly thrilling material, but Vhalla had a new appreciation for the eloquence of politics and the importance of maturity in governance that made the reading more engaging than previous experiences.
Two scrolls in, Jax poked his head in and quipped, “Oh, Empress.”
“I’m not the Empress yet.” She adjusted the parchment before her.
“Close enough.” He grinned and let himself in the rest of the way. Jax leaned against the door as he shut it. “Our Emperor has asked me to check on you and see if you need anything.”
“I’m surprised he didn’t send Elecia,” Vhalla mumbled.
“He tried to.” Jax laughed at her correct assumption. “Elecia said if you were not well you were ‘quite capable’ of seeking her out on your own.”
“The woman has sense.” Vhalla gained yet another reason to appreciate Aldrik’s cousin.
“That I cannot argue.”
Jax’s unfiltered praise reminded Vhalla of the conversation she previously overheard. While she wouldn’t dare bring up the details, there was one thing that still nagged at her. Vhalla turned away from the scroll, studying Jax’s dark Western eyes. She tried to forage through their blackness, hoping they would somehow reveal the secret everyone had been so content to allude to but never speak of.
“Why are you owned by the crown?”
Panic flashed across his face. She’d caught him off-guard, and the defensive walls quickly rose in response. Vhalla pressed her lips together and fought a sad smile. She’d been with Aldrik now for so long that she knew what it looked like when a man was trying to smother the truth behind a mental defense.
“That’s not a story you want to hear.” He laughed suddenly. “Trust me.”
“That’s not for you to decide.” Vhalla leaned back in her chair and motioned to the only other seat in the room across from her. “Sit and tell me.”
“I do not think—”
“It’s an order, Jax.” She tried to make the words as gentle as possible, but no amount of tenderness could remove the hurt in his eyes. She’d crossed a line commanding him, a line she might not be able to erase.
He fell heavily into the chair, starting his tale with hasty resentment. “I was born into a noble family in the West. We weren’t important, not like the Le’Dans or Ci’Dans, but my family had pride and a few generations of nobility. I was the eldest and the only son, my sisters just a few years younger.”
“So you were set to inherit the estate.” Vhalla shifted in her chair and leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table. For the first time, she was getting a glimpse of the man underneath the madness.
“I would have,” Jax affirmed. “It was all set, and I was quite the little lord. The only thing that remained was finding a suitable match with another noble.”
“An arranged marriage,” she pieced together. It brought back memories of the last arranged marriage she had experienced: Aldrik’s. It tugged at the corners of her lips, pulling them into a frown at the thought.
“I loved her.” Jax wiped the expression from her face with three words, and Vhalla listened in surprise. “I loved her like the Father loves the Mother. I loved her more than the sun, more than life itself. I would have waited a thousand years had she needed it to be ready to accept my hand.”
“Did she need it?” Vhalla tried to weed out the imperfection in his currently glowing tale.
“No, the feelings were mutual.” Jax looked at nothing for a long moment. Then a shift. Vhalla wasn’t sure if she imagined it. But his expression clicked into something different. “Or rather, I thought they were . . .
“We would spend days on end together. Every chance we had we would see each other, be with each other. We wanted nothing more than to be around each other just breathing each other’s air. Everything was going to be so perfect, a love arranged but that was also meant to be.”
There was an uneasy shroud hovering over his words. He rattled them off his tongue with nearly rehearsed precision. As though it was no longer Jax speaking, and he was possessed by the shroud of someone else, someone who had not actually endured what he was about to tell her.
“Until, one day, I decided I would surprise her. I was studying at the Academia of Arcane Arts. Or maybe I was instructing a class. I don’t remember why . . . maybe they needed my assistance.” He shook his head. “Either way, I was early home. Earlier than anyone expected.