Kerrigan looks at me strangely. "I think everyone is aware that Tubbs is fat. Sorry, McGee," she tells him, smooching him right on his little nose. It's got a slash of white running through the orange and it's very kissable.
We leave the condo and I'm relieved at how easy it is to be with Kerrigan. This is our first outing without Kyle and it's not awkward at all. In fact it was her idea, which is so super sweet. She wanted to have afternoon tea, at a hotel just half a block from Kyle's place, so that's where we're headed. A few minutes later we're seated in a lush dining room flooded with light from the oversized glass doors connecting the dining room to an outdoor patio.
"So what other kind of rescue work has Kyle done?" I ask, once we have steaming cups of tea before us. Jasmine for her and a decaffeinated chamomile for me.
"Me for starters," she replies while adding a lump of sugar to her tea. She swirls it in the cup with a spoon, glancing across to me once she's satisfied with the disintegration of her sugar cube.
"You?" I'm surprised by that. "What do you mean?"
"He came back for me when our parents died. I know it seems odd since he's my brother, but we barely knew each other because he's so much older than I am. He was sixteen when I was born, he was off to college by the time I was two. I don't even have a memory of living at home with him with my parents."
"Oh, wow." I never really thought of it like that. I realized there was a huge age discrepancy between them, but I'd not thought about what that meant, practically speaking. "It's just the two of you," I clarify, stopping short of asking for an explanation.
"Yeah, I was an oops baby." She offers one anyway. "But I think our parents were happy about it. My mom said they always wanted more babies, but she had fertility issues following Kyle and they thought he was going to be it for them. Then bam, they're almost done raising him and along I came."
Babies have a way of popping in whenever it suits them, I think. Much like the one I'm carrying.
"So we weren't super close. I saw him maybe a couple times a year when I was little. He was in college then grad school then he was working in the UK and I think Asia at one point. So he was just my mysterious older brother who I saw on the occasional holidays or via video chat, and I was a kid, I wasn't paying much attention to where he was.
“Then our parents died and he came back. It's all kind of a blur, but he could have just as easily stopped in long enough to pack me off to our grandparents or ship me off to boarding school and continued on with his life. But he didn't. He moved back into the house with me, and he stayed. Eventually he bought the condo and we moved into that, because the house was kind of big and sad with just the two of us. We still have it though. I'm not even sure why we still have it, except sometimes I like to go out there and remember them. Mr and Mrs Lascola live on the property and manage it, but yeah…" She trails off, like remembering that time is difficult. Understandably so.
"I'm so sorry, that must have been so difficult. Losing your parents so young."
"Yeah." She bites her bottom lip for a quick second before forcing herself to brighten. "But Kyle's like a brother and a bonus dad all wrapped into one." She smiles now and this time it's not forced. "We'd never have gotten to be so close otherwise, so there's that."
"So he's been a good bonus dad?" I'm not sure why I'm asking, it seems pretty clear that he has. It seems pretty clear that Kyle is nothing like I initially thought he was. Kyle might just be the kind of man I claimed I wanted when I went on the dick diet in the first place.
"He is." She nods. "Overprotective, but mostly fair. The teenage years were tough because all of my friends were in love with him." She rolls her eyes. "Like gross, right?"
I visualize being sixteen and one of my friends’ dads looking like Kyle. "So gross." I nod even though that's a lie. I'd have been eyeing the hell out of him at sixteen too.
A three-tiered tray with tiny sandwiches and scones is set on the table. I help myself to one that looks like egg salad. I've never been an afternoon tea kind of person but I can see the appeal.
"Tell me about Margo," I request. I probably shouldn't, but I'm so curious about her. I don't understand how she couldn't make it work with Kyle if she wanted him so badly. He's not even particularly difficult. That I know of.
"Ugh, Margo. So much of their history is from when I was like, a toddler." Kerrigan wrinkles her nose before popping a bit of scone into her mouth.
History. I sorta hate that word. It's so loaded. But it's better than future, I suppose.
"Then they got back together when Kyle came back to Philly,” she continues. "She was around a lot, helping and stuff, but I think Margo needed a lot of attention."
"How so?"
Kerrigan glances around us and leans in, lowering her voice. There's not actually anyone sitting near us so it seems a little unnecessary. "Word on the street is that Margo cheated on Kyle. With Wyatt."
Oh.
"The street?" I raise a brow in question.
"Fine. Word from the family backyard is that Margo cheated on Kyle. With Wyatt. It was a long time ago though," she adds. "It was sometime during my junior year of high school, I remember that much."
She says it like her junior year was ages ago, when it was two years ago. Not a long time when it comes to feelings. Feelings linger like the smell in a teenage boy's bedroom.
"Honestly, it might have been partially my fault. Maybe they'd still be together if not for me."
"How so?" I frown, puzzled that she'd think any of what went on between Kyle and Margo could have been her fault.
"He'd have had more time to devote to Margo if he wasn't raising a teenager, you know?"
Maybe, but I can't imagine it. If Margo cheated on Kyle she deserved to get dumped.
But also, I wonder if I'm foolish to be falling for him. If we'd ever have ended up together if we weren't forced together by some sense of honor on his part. If he'd have ended up back with Margo, or really, anyone he didn't feel forced to be with. He upended his life to take care of his sister, of course he'd do the same for his baby.
"She'll get over him eventually," Kerrigan adds as if that's what I'm worried about. I wasn't really, but I'll add it to the list.
"She works for him though? In the same office?" Now I'm prying. Sue me.
"Oh." Kerrigan shrugs like it's irrelevant. "Well, yeah. But in marketing, I think? There are thousands of employees at the corporate office. They have nothing to do with each other at work. Less than nothing."
That's somewhat appeasing. Kerrigan has a point, with that many employees in one space they likely never even see each other.
"What is it you do? Kyle mentioned you do something in travel?"
"Sorta. I was a tour guide for Sutton Travel for the last few years, but I recently resigned from that job. It was a lot of travel, at least half of every month, and it's not really practical now that... now that I'm married." Now that I'm pregnant, is what I don't say.
"Did you love it?"