Mid-way through one evening meal, Nicole said, “Your mother called. The party for your new nephew is on Saturday.”
“What did you say?”
“I said we would go.”
“I wish you’d talked to me about this first.”
A sickening realization. “You don’t want me around your family.”
“Nicole…”
“Don’t Nicole me. Say what you mean. Do you think they won’t like me? Your mother actually asked me to go early so she could teach me some recipes.”
“My family loves you and that’s the problem.”
“I already told you that when the time comes…”
He ran a frustrated hand through his blond hair, “Don’t you get it? Every time you talk to them it’s a lie. They don’t know that none of this is real. I’m not going to let you hurt my family more than you…”
Nicole stood up and threw her napkin on the table. “Finish that sentence, Stephan. No, wait, I’ll finish it for you. You won’t let me hurt them more than I already have. You still blame me for what Dominic did to your father. I thought we were becoming friends if nothing else. I thought you understood that I would have done anything for your family if I could have.” An angry tear ran down her cheek. “You don’t want me around your family? You tell them. You explain why I didn’t want to go to a party to celebrate a baby that I helped come into this world.”
With that, Nicole crossed through the living room and slammed the door of her bedroom.
Stephan slammed a fist down onto the table.
Great. Now she’s crying.
That woman was impossible.
This was supposed to be entertaining and temporary, a way to finally get her out of his system. He wasn’t supposed to rush through a shower each morning, just so he’d have a few more minutes of her company before he went off to work. In the middle of meetings, his thoughts shouldn’t fill with images of her, and what she was doing at her own company that day. And never had he imagined that he would leave unfinished projects on his desk just so he could be home in time to have dinner with her.
He was following after her, hanging on her every word like some besotted fool—but was that enough for her?
No.
She wanted everything.
When had he completely lost control of this situation?
He didn’t want her around his family, and he was right to protect them from her. The more time they spent with her, the more they would be hurt when she left.
At the end of the day, she was still a Corisi.
He knew that, but the scene from the meeting with her lawyer haunted him. There had been real fear in her voice and he didn’t want to acknowledge it, because it implied something that was becoming difficult to ignore.
Nicole was not like her brother.
She couldn’t be and still inspire the kind of loyalty the men at her father’s company had shown her. The woman he’d tried to define her as would not have delivered his cousin’s baby, and she wouldn’t have won over his family.
Indecision and regret were not luxuries he normally allowed himself, but the questions kept coming. What if he was wrong? And what was it about being with Nicole that made it difficult for him to look at himself in the mirror?
She couldn’t be as genuine and caring as she pretended to be, because if she was—then he was an ass. A complete and unsalvageable ass.
Now was not the time to start second-guessing all of his decisions. He’d set himself on a course from which there was no turning back. By now, Dominic’s software was the digital equivalent of swiss cheese. All Stephan had to do was wait, and everything would fall into place. When his servers proved worthless, Dominic would crumble beneath a deadly financial hit, allowing Stephan to step in and not only take back his family’s island, but also profit immeasurably as China turned to him for a solution.
Everything he had been working for was finally within his grasp.
He wasn’t going to apologize to Nicole, but nor was he going to block her from seeing his family this time.
This one time.
After that, the less they were together, the better it would be for all of them.
Chapter Thirteen
On Friday morning, Nicole wondered if saying yes to Maddy had been such a good idea. Stephan was out of the office for the day, dealing with some distribution issue in Connecticut, so Maddy had asked Nicole to swing by his office for her, and pick up some tickets she’d left there. “No need to bother Stephan,” she’d said. Maddy remembered exactly where she’d left them.
The temp secretary guarding Stephan’s office had hesitated to admit Nicole, but one flash of the enormous emerald-cut diamond on her left finger had changed her mind.
This feels wrong.
She hadn’t paid much attention to his desk during her last visit, but it was an impressive piece of furniture. High-tech beyond what even her father had owned. Glass and gray metal with an embedded touch screen. It no doubt had other features whose functions would only be apparent when activated. Nice.
The files on Stephan’s computer were likely encrypted, but the metal drawers beneath the desk opened easily. Maddy had asked Stephan to hold onto her tickets to an upcoming art show. The top drawer revealed nothing of importance.
While rifling through the middle drawer, Nicole found something that made her legs give way beneath her, dropping her into Stephan’s chair. It was a photo of her and Stephan, taken by a roving park photographer the day of their one and only date. She’d forgotten this picture even existed. His hair was longer, his dress was casual. They were looking at each other and smiling like the future was theirs.
She hadn’t imagined his feelings for her; they were evident in the way he was looking at her in the photo. No matter what had come later, his feelings had been real for her that day.
Beneath that picture was an invitation to a fundraiser in California. One week from that day. Scribbled across the formal invite was a personal note in masculine writing. We're taking bets on if this is the year you'll break down and come. Kayla says you should get your butt out here before our kids start having kids. Mark.
There was a small photo attached with a paperclip. Stephan's old west coast friends. They sounded sincere and successful, not at all how his father had described them. Not the outrageously successful level that her family fought for, but the comfortable middle class, two car, one boat, family vacation kind of comfortable.
And they looked happy. So much happier than she could ever remember being.
Nicole stuffed both photos and the invitation in her purse. There were no tickets in any of Stephan’s drawers. Maddy must have wanted me to find the photos. Why would Stephan keep a photo of our date in his desk?
Was it possible that he still had feelings for her?
Did she dare let herself believe?
With Stephan’s grudging permission, Nicole went early on Saturday to help Katrine and Elise cook. She was wrapped in an apron, elbow deep in “gravy” when Maddy entered the kitchen with her new baby in her arms.
The food was temporarily forgotten.
“Nicole!” Maddy exclaimed and handed Joseph to her mother so she could give Nicole a hug. The Andrades were quickly breaking down Nicole’s personal-space inhibitions. Nicole returned the tight hug.
The four women took a few moments to coo over the little one in their presence.
“Did you go to Stephan’s office for me?” Maddy asked. Instantly, Katrine and Elise spun to look at Nicole.
Like they knew. Like they knew everything. Nicole nodded slowly, unsure of what to say.
Katrine asked, “Did you find the photo?”
Nicole went beet red. “You know about the photo? Do you know…”
Elise laughed, “Nicole, we know about the whole thing. My daughter can’t keep a secret. Not even her own. Do you have it with you?”
Nicole dug the picture out of her purse and shared it with the group.
Katrine shook her head sadly, “That’s probably the last time I saw that expression on Stephan’s face. He used to be so happy. He still smiles, but not from the heart. Not like this.”
Elise took the photo and studied it. “Maddy, usually I tell you how wrong you are when you interfere, but look at their faces. I see why you had to do something.”
Maddy shrugged while admitting, “I thought so, but now I don’t know. They both look miserable today.”
Nicole said, “You know that I’m still here, right?”
Maddy smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. But you do. I thought you’d be halfway to a real proposal by now.”
Reaching behind her to untie her apron, Nicole slipped it over her head and off. “Even if what we felt that day was real, how could it survive what came afterwards? How could anything?”
“You still love my son. It’ll work out,” Katrine assured her.
Nicole shook head and tears thickened her voice. “No, I loved the man who thought he could save the world one silly documentary at a time. I loved how good and honest he was. And I loved who I was when he looked at me. He doesn’t look at me like that anymore. He doesn’t even want me around you after today.”
Elise walked over with her grandchild snuggled to her chest and said something fast and cutting in Italian.
Katrine said, “I worry about Stephan. He was always so idealistic. There was never a gray area for him. He changed when Victor sold the company to your brother. Stephan blamed himself and you. He walked away from everything he cared about, and became someone he thought we needed him to be. I used to be able to get him to open up to me when he was younger, but he’s closed himself off from all of us. I just want to shake him and tell him that he doesn’t have to be this man, this stranger. He’s in a bad place right now, Nicole, because he feels like he just lost to your brother a second time. Call it mother’s intuition; something happened in China that he won’t discuss. He needs you back in his life. You might be the only one who can reach him before he goes too far.”
Nicole wiped away the tears that started spilling down her cheeks. “I don’t think I can. I’m not sure the man I love is even in there anymore.”
Maddy said, “He is and this will all work out.”
Oh, Maddy.
Did we even grow up on the same planet?
Nicole snapped, “That sounds nice, but it’s not reality. Happy endings are a lie we tell our children to believe in, a cruel lie. In the end, most of us just fall into bed alone, relieved to have survived the day. I am just beginning to figure out what I need to be happy. How can I possibly help Stephan?”
Katrine put both arms around her shoulders and simply hugged her. In the safety of her embrace, Nicole allowed herself to cry out the emotions she’d tried so hard to hold in. She cried for the father who had never loved her, the mother she had lost so long ago, and the brother who she loved as much as she hated. She cried for a man who had lost himself on his way to save the world. And she clung to the woman who kept murmuring that it would all somehow be ok.
Elise brought her a tissue when she settled down and she blew her nose loudly.
Maddy started to say something, but Katrine raised her hand and silenced her. After a moment, Katrine said, “You’ve been through so much, Nicole. It’s probably wrong of me to ask you to risk getting hurt more, but I see the way my son looks at you. You’re right, though—the easy, happily ever after kind of love is a myth. Love is more than that. It’s a decision to care about someone even when you want to strangle them and to forgive them for not being perfect. Love is hard work. It involves real risk and sometimes real loss. But if you don’t let yourself believe in the person you love, then you miss out on the good in them and the chance to have a real partner in life. I can’t guarantee you that if you give my son a chance that he will deserve it, but I know he cares about you. I know that you’re the kind of woman who could bring him back to us.”