A couple minutes later the door squeaked open again and Jackson stood there in some too-small sweats and a T-shirt. I gave him my confident look: shoulders back, sure smile on my face. He ran his hand through his hair, making it stand up, and a guarded smile came onto his face. “Moore. You’re here.” He glanced over my shoulder and saw the truck parked against the curb in front of his house and his smile widened. “You did it.”
“Barely.” I thrust the drink forward. “This is for you. An I-was-a-jerk-again bribe. I’m sorry for what I said in the parking lot.”
He shrugged. “You’ve labeled me as a slacker, and you’re sticking by it. I appreciate the consistency.”
He wasn’t going to accept my apology or the drink I was still holding out. “At least take this. You know I can’t drink it. It’s disgusting.”
He laughed and took the drink.
“Thank you.” I turned and walked away.
“Moore?”
I stopped but didn’t turn.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Do you want me to come?”
I put my head down, letting that confident front drop for a moment as utter relief poured through my body. At least he couldn’t see my face.
“Is that a no?” he asked.
“Yes—no—I mean, please. I want you to come.”
“Let me grab some shoes. I’ll meet you out there.”
Just seconds after I climbed into the cab, he did too, holding a pair of Converse in one hand and his drink in the other. He almost sat on the box my mom had placed inside weeks ago but slid it over to the middle just in time.
“You know I only agreed so I could sit in this truck, right?”
Right. I had forgotten about his love of this truck.
“A joke. After all this time and you constantly reminding me that I joke about everything, you don’t get my joke?”
I choked out a weird sputtering laugh.
“Are you freaking out?” He studied me closer, then cussed. “You’re freaking out.”
“No. I’m fine.”
He let out a single laugh. “Fine, huh? Okay, take a deep breath.” He dropped his shoes on the floor and his hand went to my neck, where he began to massage. “Just breathe.” He turned on the radio but the static was still the only noise it would produce. I loved that he knew music would’ve helped. But there was no music. Only deafening silence filled with the thoughts of how stupid this was.
“My parents are going to kill me,” I said.
“Your parents are not going to kill you.”
“My mom will for sure. My dad will just be very disappointed. He is really, really good at being disappointed.”
“You’re in your head too much. Don’t think about that. Think about the good that will come of this.”
“There is no good. Only death.”
I could tell he was trying not to, but he laughed. “Do you want to take it back? I can help you take it back.”
Yes. I wanted to take the truck back and pretend none of this ever happened. My eyes landed on the mask still sitting on the dashboard. Maybe it really did possess some secret power, because I took a deep breath and shook my head no. “I’m here. Let’s have some fun.” Besides, I’d already decided this wasn’t about my parents. This was about me facing my brother. Facing what I’d competed with my whole life. When the night was over, I was going to put the truck back as if it was never moved. The thought gave me new determination. Tonight would give me the strength to face my parents. To let them know how I felt.
“Heath Hall is sitting on your dashboard,” Jackson said. “That’s kind of creepy.”
“Hey, you’re the one who started the whole thing.”
“Actually, I wasn’t.”
“Okay, you talk, I’ll drive.” I turned the key, the truck rumbling to life, and we pulled away from his house.
His hand dropped from my neck and he reached down to pull on his shoes. “I’ve been the Heath Hall caretaker for about six months now. I think someone, much like you, thought I was a bit irresponsible and wanted me to step outside myself.”
“What do you mean, someone? You don’t know who?”
“I don’t know who.”
“So wait. You never needed to use the mask; you just got put in charge of it?”
“I think I needed it more than anyone. My fear, my truth, was bigger than one event. I had to see myself through the fears others faced.”
“What was your fear?”
“You nailed me on the head, Moore. That’s why it was so hard to hear. I thought I’d grown these last six months, but I haven’t. I have no ambitions. I don’t know who I am or what I want to do with my life.”
“A lot of people don’t know that. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Where I differ from others is that I don’t care.”
I stared out at the dark road in front of me. “I don’t believe you.”
“Oh, but you do, because every time you’re mad at me, the truth comes out.”
I felt bad for throwing that in his face a couple times now when it was obviously something he struggled with. “No. I mean, sometimes you like to goof off, and when my awful temper comes out because I’m hurt or whatever, I say that, but I don’t think that’s you.”
“What’s me, then?”
“You care about people. Look at what you’re doing for me tonight.”
“That’s because I like you, Moore. It’s completely selfish.”
“So did you like Painter Boy and Suck It Guy too?”
“Suck It Guy?”
“You know, ‘Suck it, fear!’” I rolled my eyes.
He laughed. “Oh, you mean Suck It Girl.”
“That was a girl?”
“Yep. People’s brains perceive things how they want to perceive things. You’d assigned Heath Hall a gender, so you didn’t analyze the evidence right.”
“Huh. Weird.”
“Wait . . . you thought it was me that night, didn’t you? Did you think I was all the versions of Heath Hall?”
“Yes.”
“I thought you totally figured out that it was more than one person because of the things you said over private message. That’s why I told you.”
“What things did I say? The dog thing?”
“No. You said, ‘like Dumbo’s black feather,’ and that the mask helped others reveal their fears too. I thought you figured it out.”
“I meant the mask, you, the private-message thing was helping me reveal my fears . . . to you.”
“Oh. Yeah, no. I didn’t get that.”
I laughed. “By the way, that mask is hot. And not looks-wise.”
“You wore it?”
“It helped me drive the truck off the platform.”
He smiled and stared at the mask for a long moment. “There’s just something about it, right? The spirit of the spy hero Heath Hall must live in there somewhere. And knowing the mask has been there while so many people faced what’s scared them. Revealed something important. It’s almost like it really does have some power.”